He finds his friends at the dango shop

That encounter was pretty weird. A kunoichi that let me grope her and even damage her clothing? Such a strange woman. And my friends weren’t even around to witness it! Where were these donkeys? First they dare me into a life and **** situation and then when I do get out alive, they aren’t even there to shower me in praise. Just my friends, I guess.

But I know where to find these two. It doesn’t take some Inuzuka bloodhound to sniff these two out. It’s early afternoon and the sun is out. I am one hundred certain they are getting their sugar fix at the dango shop. When we first started to spend our afternoon breaks together, we we’re touring all the food shops. Tasting all kinds tasty treats. But as soon as Aguri spotted a ninja lady eating there, it was settled. No other stores from then on out, only to gawk at that one kunoichi he was crushing on. She was about 5′2″ and had spiky black-violet hair fashioned in some sort of ninja-bun. Under her jacket she usually wears this mesh top barely covering her-

Yep. They must be at the dango shop. No two ways about it.

So I make my way over to the dango shop. It isn’t a terribly long way, but as I hear a couple of fast paced steps far above me and look what’s happening, I remember why I hate making my way through these narrow streets. While I walk in the shadow of the surrounding buildings and hope there won’t be any broken cart blocking my way, above my head a group of ninja are jumping from rooftop to rooftop. They are travelling so speedy, that I can’t make out who they are. I only see specters scurrying through the sky.

But even walking a normal walk, I eventually made my way to the dango shop. And as sure as ramen is delicious, at a sunny table sit Daichi and Aguri. And as sure as both of them are huge pervs, they are openly leering at the kunoichi sitting at the next table…. Way to be subtle guys…

Even me dragging a third chair towards their table and loudly sitting down, didn’t snap them from creepingly staring ahead. So I started literally snapping in front of their faces.

*Snap* *Snap* *Snap*

“Hey! Wake up turdfaces!”

“What? Oh, hey Nijito. Didn’t hear you coming. What’s up?”, Daichi said, while Aguri still didn’t budge. An elbow to the side rectified that.

“Ouwh, you asshole what are yo- Hi, Nijito! Where did you come from buddy?”, From where you left me you dumbasses, I thought.

“From where you left me you dumbasses!”, I also said.

“Right… about that. We’re sorry Nijito. This guy here saw the Ninja-MILF over there and dragged me across town.”, Daichi slapped Aguri on the shoulder and he lowered his head ruefully. At least he’s ashamed of leaving me in near mortal danger. But wait a minute!

“You saw her walking through town… like we usual smucks have to?”, I was a little shocked after seeing a flock of ninjas flying through the sky earlier.

“Yeah, sure. One leg after the other, hips swinging. You know, walking. Why?”

“Well, if they want to get through the city, ninjas normally jump from roof to roof.”

“Now that you say it… Yes it is a little strange.”, Daichi seemed thoughtful for a moment, but ultimately just shrugged it off.

Why are these idiots my friends again? When a little later the kunoichi before us sneezed, sending her bosom shaking, I remembered why. Because I am one of the idiots. We are the lovable idiots, the harmless pervy youngsters, the normal guys from next door. That and Aguris sinfully hot mom bringing us snacks when we hanged at his place. But mostly the comradery between equal minds.

Dango still is a strange lunch to me (the variants sold here are very sweet), but over time it grows on you. And the green tea does balance it out for me. Over our meal I even forgot about our bet, but Aguri really has the guts to propose another one.

Aguri, mouth still munching on his sweets, turned towards Daichi, ”I dare you to touch Net-boobs’ net-boobs, Aguri!”

“Oh, I’d never dare to take your crush awa-“, Aguri started a potentially very long, very pompous answer to weasel himself out. How Aguri is a stellar ladies man and although he could have his way with all of them, he is taking it slow for all of ours sake. Yeah, whoever believes that. In reality he is as much a ladies man as we are. Which means -not much-.

“Before you go about daring each other, how about you hand out the cash for the last one?”, I make the universal gesture for *gimme my money*.

“Right, that jonin sensei of hidden-jugs! You actually did it man?”, Daichi became enthusiastic. And while I was preparing to tell the epic tale of touching the very bouncy cheek of a very strange lady, Aguri got stingy again.

“Didn’t only Daichi want to pay you for it? I mean, I was just proposing it for fun and giggles. If you ~really~ did it, that would be great, but we didn’t see it. So did it really happen? And also you know how tight money is with the family…”

Cut the crap, we all know your family is well off you penny pincher!

“Hey buddy, can’t you do the normal thing and pay me for touching lady bits?”, I chuckled, but my friends didn’t seem to find that funny. So I tried again without joking, “Come on, a bet is a bet. Pay up Daichi.”

“You really touched her ass?”, I nodded triumphantly, ”Okay, okay. How much were you thinking Aguri?”

They didn’t end up giving me much, but I never earned my ryō more pleasantly. I had to fear for my life while doing it, but touching kunoichi ass alone is well worth that risk.

“So Aguri, are you gonna make that money back by fulfilling your bet? For my part, I bet your money and Daichis that you can’t touch the net-boobs without catching a ninja fist with your civilian face.”

I put on the biggest shit-eating grin possible, just to taunt our self-proclaimed ladies man.

“You’re an ass Najito…”, Aguri mumbled, suddenly not that suave anymore.

“And you are a coward Aguri! Ok, Nijito. Double or nothing, if you can touch Net-boobs and NOT get your face smashed in, we pay you again. The usual and an additional fee for fulfilling the bet”, what does he mean by the usual?,”But should you fail, you pay us back. How does that sound? You think your luck still sticks?”, Daichi called my bluff.

“And he has to say he’s sorry… I could do it, I just don’t want to because-“

”Yeah, we get it Aguri. And you have to apologize to Aguri for acting like he isn’t the greatest gift to woman since always. How about it Nijito?”, Daichi was getting passionate about this.

I was really conflicted here. After losing my job, I could use the money. And pulling this off would give me another great story to hold over my friends. On the other hand, I do value my life. And my face. But those plump boobs fighting their nearly translucent cage…

“I’m in!”, I said before thinking it through.

I’m not just one of the idiots, I’m the worst of us! I barely survived the ass groping, now I agree to go on another suicide-mission? What am I, a ninja? Around me both Daichi and Aguri go slack-jawed. Neither of them saw that coming. No sane person would have. But I am a man of my word, so I thought up a brilliant plan and started walking.

“Excuse me Miss?”, okay, good start.

“Hmm, yes?”, on the table before her lie several empty plates and she answers me through what seems to be her last stick of Dango.

Time for that masterplan.

“I was wondering, is that a new ice cream shop over there?”, I pointed straight behind her.

And she did indeed turn her upper body around, searching for the sugary frozen treat. Just as planned. With the speed I didn’t knew I possessed, my right arm raced towards her left boob. In my search for grandeur, I even tried to go for the glimpse of a nipple I imagined to make out behind the bare constraints of her fishnet-shirt. Yes, that’s a nipple all right.

Ok, now just turning around and right back to where I came from. Easy-peasy. And maybe going into hiding somewhere. But I only made two hasty steps before she cleared her throat behind me. Oh Kami, I just got lucky she didn’t instantly whip around and annihilate me. But she will now! I was frozen in fear. She cleared her throat again and I realized my punishment wouldn’t get any less severe by keeping her waiting. And who could run away from a jonin kunoichi? Cut that. Who could run away from any kunoichi?

I steeled my will. I took a last look at my friends, who WERE TALKING AMOUNG THEMSELVES?! This was my last moment on earth and they aren’t even looking my way? Oh, who could blame them. This isn’t going to be pretty and I don’t want them to remember me with a dent in my face. Remember me like I was. Not overly dashing, but brave as a lion! A stupid, horny lion…

-

But I didn’t die when I turned around. At least not from blunt trauma, the shock on the other hand was close to putting me in the ground. Sensei Net-boobs wasn’t raising her fist or her voice, just a tiny open wallet.

“Is 500 ryō enough? *munch* I spend the rest on lunch already, so I’d need to go home to bring more. *munch*”, she blinked uncaringly, “Oh, and I couldn’t make out the ice cream shop! Are you sure you didn’t confuse it with the convenience store over there? That damn cone-logo of theirs also tricked me once.” She broke out into a little laugh.

Ninjas are a strange bunch. And I might have to change my pants.