He doesn't.

My plans were derailed one fateful day when I decided to come home from drinking at a bar early.

There was an unfamiliar car in the garage, so I parked in the street. Sally had some music blaring as I came into the house, and I was feeling whimsical enough to try sneaking up and surprising her.

I couldn't find her in the living room, and the music track playing reached its end. As soon as it did, the silence was broken by the sound of Sally fucking someone in our bedroom!

"Aaaahhh!! Ah! Right there, baby, right there!"

Trying to be as quiet as I could, I crept up to the bedroom door as my wife continued to have sex with someone else behind my back!

"Ooooooh, you're soooo good!! The best! Even better than my asshole husband!"

I slowly opened the door a crack and peeked through. I wanted to see just who my wife's illicit lover was...