He Tries, but It Doesn't Work

Not wanting to antagonize Sara anymore whenever he decided to change or add a rule, Josh tapped out, "No one cares whenever Josh West uses or is otherwise distracted by his phone."

The text disappeared and a message popped up: "Rules may not be applied to individuals."

Shit, he thought. I should have guessed.

He scrolled through the list of rules idly.

• Left-handed people often twist their wrist in an uncomfortable manner in order to write without smearing ink.
• People who have just become the legal drinking age in their local area often celebrate by drinking **** to excess.

And obviously there were all those rules he'd already seen, and changed, that applied to women. So I guess you can do rules about any group, as long as you can define it --

His train of thought was quickly interrupted by Sara's footsteps. He slid his phone into a pants pocket.

"Let's go," said Sara, her miniskirted legs looking even better now that she was wearing sandals with 4-inch heels.

As they took the apartment building's elevator down to the subterranean garage level, Josh stared at the framed poster that was in what had been a blank space in the previous reality. It was an artsy black-and-white photograph of a happy young couple holding a baby with love in their eyes. "Family," it said in big letters, and then in smaller print, "All it takes is love, Ovulex, and vaginal intercourse." And in even smaller print below that, "Ovulex is available free at CVS and Walgreens stores nationwide, and thousands of other locations. Consult a gynecologist or any health professional." Then there was the official seal of the United States Department of Family Planning -- that apparently explained that one "Jeopardy!" answer Sara had shouted out -- and the final text "family.gov/1-800-4-FAMILY."

The chime of the elevator bell took Josh out of his reverie. As they walked to the car, Sara said, "You usually don't stare so intently at that ad. You're not thinking we should have a baby, are you?"

He glanced at Sara's face to try to figure out what she expected him to say, but he couldn't read her expression, so he truthfully said, "No, not right now."

"Whew, good," said Sara. "I'm not really ready to be tied down yet. Although if you think that might turn you on..."

Josh gulped. Sara giggled. They'd arrived at Josh's parking space, near the end of the row of cars.