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Chapter 9 by Ultra Bra Ultra Bra

What is the first major wish that you are presented with?

Have a request that escalates

Chatter #6515: "okay this is pretty stupid, but can you help me get to work faster? i'm f'n tired of waking up at 5AM every day."

Sophie: "Oh, that's easy! I'll just give you a car that can fly, and at supersonic speeds!"

For a moment, you reconsider. This could seriously mess up the city's airspace. There's all sorts of convoluted laws about that, and while you're obviously above the law, you want to keep things as much within the original framework of mortal life as possible.

Sophie: "No no, hang on: Why would you even need a flying car, when I can just give you a portal straight to your workplace that you can drive through?"

But why settle for less?

Sophie: "Hang on, here's my claim to curb a significant portion of the world's CO2 emissions. I'll render cars, ships and aeroplanes obsolete by creating a worldwide network of portals that can take you anywhere you want, heck, even to the Moon! Making the Moon donut-shaped was swell and all, but I could do so much more with it - give it a localised gravity, an atmosphere, oceans and jungles... but no tectonic movement, that's only going to cause natural disasters and mess up the Earth's magnetic field."

The chat is still in business, looking on bewildered as you keep on piling more things into this one random person's wish.

Sophie: "I'm already foreseeing that letting just anyone go anywhere in the world is going to mess up the world's economy and politics. Like, by a lot. So as some precautionary measures, I'm gonna delete all viral diseases. Maybe keep a sample of them stowed away in a vault at the core of Pluto or something, so people of the future can use them for bioengineering. Also, obviously there's going to be a refugee problem when three quarters of North Korea will just walk out, so I'm gonna make a few thousand prebuilt cities on the Moon ring."

Displaying the most excessive use of ear gymnastics yet, you flip your ears around for three whole times, catalysing all of the aforementioned changes.

Chatter #6515: "yo i just wanted like a new interstate connection or something"

Sophie: "Haha, don't be silly now! Fixing people's problems one by one would be slow as heckballs. By tracing the sources of given problems to larger phenomena, I can solve millions of problems at once! Hands up in the chat, how many of your wishes are now fulfilled because of what I did just now?"

Hundreds of handwave-emojis fill the chat.

Sophie: "See? Like, the world's already basically a utopia. I just need to create a post-scarcity economy, get rid of microplastics and revive an odd hundred thousand extinct species and we'll be good. In fact, let me do that just now."

With another two ear wiggles, the latter two changes are brought to fruitition. A post-scarcity economy you achieve by creating large vending-machine like structures in all city centers and other places of habitation. These machines have various buttons that will dispense, among other things 'food', 'water', 'medicine', 'building materials' and 'electricity', each at the click of its respective button. These materials are always custom-suited to fit a person's current needs and preferences. As the cost of living becomes effectively zero, things like violent crime, corruption, consumerism and venture politics begin to slowly peter out. And by 'slowly peter out' you mean crash and burn in hellfire.

Sophie: "That's good. Now, what more can you ask for?"

Chatter #0344: "I want a gf"

How do you grant this wish?

  • No further chapters
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