Harem Hotel: Bed & Breakfast Edition (Now with Pictures!)

The cameras fade in on a sprawling, lush garden with a white marble pavilion at its center. Panning to its interior, a tall, regal woman with generous curves lounges on a green chaise. Clothed in an elegant, white linen dress, she stands, waving her hand to the side as her chair disappears as petals in the cool autumn breeze. The late-afternoon sun filters through a window at the apex of the dome, casting a warm glow on unblemished caramel skin and ankle-length verdant hair adorned by a solitary red flower. As she turns her golden eyes to the unseen audience, she smiles warmly.

Image by orifalcon

“Greetings, my dear viewers, and welcome to the newest season of Harem Hotel!”

Rehearsed applause is heard from the lucky workers who were given the chance to watch the opening ceremony.

“I am Sera, your Host for this season, and manager of the Lily Garden Bed & Breakfast, where we will soon be witness to several gorgeous young women vying for the affection of a very lucky Master or Mistress. I hope you’re excited, as we’ve planned a few fun changes to the standard Harem Hotel formula that are sure to keep you on the edge of your seat! With that being said, let’s welcome our first guest now!”

Adam McGarden

Adam fidgeted with his tie, briefly checking his appearance in his rearview mirror as he drove deeper into the Missouri countryside. It’s gonna be really damn annoying if this new job turns out to be a bust. Driving 3 hours out into the sticks would definitely have been a deal breaker if they weren’t offering room and board as an employment perk. Adam had been out of work for a few months at that point, and bills had long since eaten through his savings, even after moving back in with his mother. Out of desperation for any desk job that paid decently, he had submitted his resume to a new temp agency that opened recently in his home city of Kansas City, Missouri, “HH Staffing Solutions.” He hadn’t expected them to respond so quickly with an offer for a 90-day IT gig at a bed & breakfast. While it wasn’t a permanent solution, he’d get to stay there, free of charge, and $30 an hour was definitely nothing to sneeze at.

As he pulled his beat-up 1999 Ford Taurus into a small, gravel parking lot across the street, he stopped to admire the large, 3-story, white, colonial style building where he would presumably be living for the next 3 months. The Lily Garden Bed & Breakfast, he chuckled to himself, I wonder if they’re keeping the lilies out back. He turned the groaning engine off, patting the dashboard in appreciation for the old car, and feeling relieved that, regardless of how the next few hours panned out, he would only have to make that drive one more time. Getting out of his car, he checked his appearance in the window one last time. Ugh, Mom was right; I should have gotten a haircut—and I think I missed a couple spots when shaving last night. Oh well, if they were hiring based on looks I’d be fucked, anyway. He looked down dejectedly, silently bemoaning his ill-fitting outfit, a blue dress shirt with gray slacks. He’d definitely gained a bit of weight since losing his last job; sadness snacking wasn’t doing him any favors.

Finished cursing his loss in the genetic lottery, he walked through the front door, entering a more opulent lobby than he was expecting—brilliantly polished, dark, wood floors and a grand central staircase leading to the second floor. He halted in his appreciation when he realized that there was a slight problem: the lobby was empty. He turned to check down the hallways to either side of the lobby, confirming that, yes, he was seemingly the only person there.

“Um, excuse me! I’m Adam McGarden, here for an onboarding interview! I was told I’d be interviewing Sera! Is she available, or is now not a good time?”

“Ah, yes, I’ve been expecting you! I’m in the garden pavilion out back!” He heard a lovely voice call out to him from beyond the French doors leading to what he assumed to be the garden.

As he journeyed out to the aforementioned pavilion, it took immense willpower to stop his jaw from dropping at the sight of the woman in front of him. Holy hooters! His prior experiences with breasts were purely theoretical, so he was hardly an expert, but he assumed the sizable pair he was looking at had to be at least an F-cup, or maybe a G-cup. Good Lord, she’s tall. Gotta be at least 6’… and damn—I can’t see it from here, but it looks like she smuggled a whole-ass bakery back there. I definitely wasn’t expecting green hair, either. And wait… are her eyes gold? They’re beautiful. Hold on, are those pointed ears? He shook his head. No, must just be a trick of the light or the way her hair is laying.

“Goodness, I hope there’s nothing wrong with my appearance. Is there something on my face?”

Shit! Just how long was I staring at her?! He had to think of a way to salvage this, and fast. How on Earth was he going to explain to his mom that he blew such a massive opportunity by gawking at the woman he was supposed to be interviewing?

“Don’t worry; I’m actually quite flattered,” she softly chuckled to herself. “As you’ve likely guessed, I’m the manager of this establishment, Sera. I do hope you find everything to your liking.”

“Oh, yes! Everything is absolutely lovely! You certainly have a great eye for aesthetics, ma’am. Now, um, I’m here about the IT position…”

“Oh, don’t worry, dear; we’ll discuss your role here once the others have arrived. For now, how about answering just a few quick questions about yourself?”

“Um… okay. Uh, yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem.” It took a great deal of willpower to not let the disappointment show on his face. Crap, a group interview? What’s the deal? I thought they had already given me the job. “Just fire away, I guess.”

“Alright, then!” She began chipperly. “Please list for our viewers your: name, age, occupation, and most recent sexual encounter.”

“Wait, viewers? And what’s the deal with that last one—” His thoughts were interrupted as he felt himself suddenly answering, as if on reflex. “My name is Adam McGarden, I’m 26 years old, I’m unemployed unless this job pans out, and I don’t have any sexual encounters to speak of. I’m a virgin.” What the hell? Why did I say that? And what was the deal with those questions? He had to admit that he was certainly more relaxed and forward than he would normally be in an interview. Surely that must have been the reason for his unexpected compliance. He wondered what it was that made him so unusually open. Was it the relaxing atmosphere in the garden? Or perhaps it was Sera; she certainly had a calm, elegant aura about her. Or maybe the sweet, heady aroma of flowers that hung heavy in the air like incense. Regardless of which was the culprit, or whether it was some combination of the three, he quickly found himself becoming even calmer, almost unnaturally so.

“Yes, well I’m sure you’ll find a special someone soon, dear. In case you didn’t know, this establishment has a long history of helping people find romance. I have no doubt that we’ll soon see new relationships blossoming like lilies.” She softly giggled as she comforted him. “For now, though, why don’t we welcome our next guest?” A gentle breeze blew past as she gestured for him to sit in one of the green armchairs behind them that he’d swear weren’t there a second ago. “She should be here any moment now.”