Guilty

I arrive at the church in some grubby clothes meant for cleaning and am nearly assaulted by Sister Sophia. She looks exhausted, as if she hasn't slept all night, but still full of frantic energy.

"Oh, Emilia, you were right!" She says, clasping my hands. "I saw Sister Rita sneak out last night. And some of the others did too. I mentioned what you told me about her being seen in bars -- don't worry I didn't mention you -- and the other sisters weren't even surprised. Oh, I didn't say anything about Father Liam. I feel like the last to know. And then I saw her come back early this morning and she wasn't even wearing her habit. What am I going to do? Should I talk to the Mother?" She stares into my eyes.

She really shouldn't be asking me, I'm not even a nun. I guess she doesn't have anywhere to turn to without spreading this thing further. And Mother Cecelia wouldn't be a great choice, as strict as she is. She just became mother superior recently, and the last one was everyone's favorite. The old woman had a fantastic sense of humor. "Okay, so I'm sorry for being such a gossip. I put you into this mess. I give you my permission to tell the other Sisters that I was just being a gossip, if you want. It wouldn't be untrue. Just... maybe we keep it between us until we know more. We don't want this to spiral." I lead her into the church, trying not to make a scene. Parishioners were already here, and I wanted to lead her to where we'd have to whisper.

"Okay," she says, making up her mind. "You're right. And you don't mind if I mention you saying that?"

"Well, it isn't untrue, even if I shouldn't have said anything. Please say it so long as you can deescalate the situation. Now I have to get to confession. I'll meet you in the office to talk chores in a bit."

I leave her behind and head to the confession booth. Thankfully it's empty and I don't have to wait. In the booth I cross myself and say by "Bless me father, for I have sinned. It's been a week since my last confession." I have everything down rote, but I make sure I mean it every time. I hate when Catholics think that going through the motions is enough. I pause here, though, trying to collect my thoughts. How much should I say? I guess the obvious answer is all of it, but how much is a sin?

"Okay, my child, please tell me your sins," the priest says when I don't continue quickly. Shoot, it's Father Liam. A lump forms in my throat, remembering what I said about him and Sister Rita.

"Well, I was kind of a jerk to my brother yesterday, and I cussed 6 times. And I was sarcastic with my mom. And I may have started a little rumor about Sister Rita, but it turned out to be true, so is that one really that bad?"

"What did you say about Sister Rita?" He asks. I think I detect a faint personal curiosity in his voice, even if he's professional enough not to let it be too obvious.

I pause again, uncomfortable about who I'm telling this to. It's the Lord, dummy. I'm telling the Lord and so there should be no reason to hold back, since He saw anyway. "I said that I know she sneaks off to bars at night, and that I think she joined the nunnery because she thinks that yo... Father Liam is attractive."

Now the pause comes from the other side of the screen. "Okay, and is that all?"

"This is all I can remember. I am sorry for these and all my sins."

"Then please continue your service within the church, and pray on this. You are forgiven."

I stand to leave, then go and pray my contrition.