Griffin dispenses life advice

When you get back to your dorm, Mars bids you goodnight, leaving you alone with Griffin in the lounge. Your friend sits back on the couch in front of the TV and flicks it on, taking a leisurely sip from his last beer of the night.

“So Alex, you want a tip with the ladies?” he asks, kicking his legs up on the foot rest. “You look like you could use one.”

“What makes you say that?” you laugh, leaning against the couch.

“I heard about the deal you made with Mars and Val,” he says. “That’s a good thing you’ve got going. But I noticed, even with them batting for you tonight… you’re here. Not a girl in sight. Come on man, it’s no shame for a bro to ask for help.”

“I didn’t ask for their help tonight,” you say, shaking your head. “I’m doing good, man.”

“You set-up Val earlier,” he says, pointing out the window towards her dorm. “I know how your deal works. You’re supposed to get something in return from ‘em. So something’s gone wrong if even those two can’t work their magic.”

“Nah, I just wasn’t feeling it tonight,” you say.

“Sure thing,” Griffin laughs. “I’ll give you a tip or two anyways. Unless you’re telling me you don’t want my expert advice?”

“I’m not about to say no,” you say. “But come on, what could you possibly know that I don’t?”

“Hmm… give me a second,” he says, pausing to watch the homerun broadcast on the screen. He gives a satisfied grunt and then turns back to you. “Okay. I got something. What do you do with your hands when you’re eating a girl’s pussy?”

You frown, giving Griffin a look.

“I just hold her thighs down,” you say. “You know, make space to breathe. What, you’re telling me there’s something better?”

“There are so many things that you could do that would be better,” Griffin says, shaking his head in disappointment. “You want something to start? Even a horny high-schooler who’s gotten to second base knows how to do this. Grab her tits, dude. Play with those nipples while you go down.”

“Okay, I knew that much,” you say.

“Yeah, well that was just the teaser,” he says. “Here’s something better. If you’ve got your tongue deep in that pussy, there’s still a part of her privates that aren’t getting enough attention. So rub that clit. You don’t even have to hard. Light strokes. Nine times out of ten it’ll do a trick. It’ll make a girl go crazy for you.”

“Not bad, I’ll keep that in mind,” you nod. “But still, nothing mind blowing. I could’ve figured that out myself.”

“Ah, but did you?” Griffin asks, wagging a finger at you. “That makes all the difference.”

“Yeah yeah, Professor Griffin,” you say with a roll of your eyes, pretending to take notes. “I’m still not impressed.”

“That’s because I’ve been saving the best for last,” he says. “You want to really blow a girl’s mind? You put your hands on her stomach, just below her belly button, like her lower abdomen, and you press down. Works like a charm. Instantly gets a girl off sometimes. I don’t think Rachel would have ever gone out with me if it weren’t for that trick. Fuck dude, I just about destroyed her with my hands the first time we got down to doing it.”

“Okay, too much information,” you laugh, holding up your hands. “Also. What? Press on her stomach? How does that work?”

“It’s magic bro, you just got to trust the process,” Griffin smiles. And then, seeing the peeved look on your face, he adds: “There is a real reason. It’s like stimulating the G-spot from the outside. So if you can hit the magic spot from both the inside and out…”

“Good stuff happens,” you nod, this time actually mentally taking a note of this.

“Anything you want for the night, she’ll do it for you,” Griffin concludes with a sly smile. “Now let your imagination go wild.”

“You’re a top notch friend,” you smile, giving Griffin a fist-bump.

Griffin +5