Granny Gertrude’s Gelato ‘n’ ’Ger Grubplace

Truth be told, the ride towards the restaurant could have gone better. Rose insisted on taking us there in her car, and it became obvious that Shayna and Mark were not fully comfortable with being passengers in a vehicle with her at the wheel. I would have tried to find a way for no one to feel awkward, but at last, I lacked a driving license and I was not trusting Regina to not swerve us off the road if someone particularly sexy was walking down the pavement. Taking the couple’s vehicle and letting one of them drive us would have just reversed who would feel crossed, and even if it was two people against one, I just couldn’t side with them against the person who had been quite friendlier with me on a personal level.

I did try to do something to placate Shayna's worries about safety. Before we left their home, I used a wish to modify the appearance of us all. Mark, Rose and Regina all looked like they could be a triplet of ginger siblings, while Shayna and I were now presenting as a tanned pair of dirty blondes. After adding a few minor modifications to our noses and our cheekbones, I felt confident that we would look completely unrecognizable as our true selves even for someone hoping to find us.

I also did try to reassure her that Land Shark couldn’t possibly have enough information about what happened to her friend, if she had even learnt about Faux Paws going missing, to know to search for us. But it was a bit like trying to have a conversation with a brick wall.

Luckily, even if the car had been mostly silent, the radio was always a companion you could rely on to make some noise. And it just so happened that we were listening to the news to hear a long speculation piece over who this new ‘Ringmaster’ heroine might be and what exactly her deal was.

It was really amusing to be able to sit on this side of the fence. Three different experts on superheroes had been invited to talk, and two of them were people I had collaborated with over the years while writing my blog. This surely meant that once I looked at my email again I would see a missed offer to appear on that show, and it felt funny that I couldn’t care less. Talking about heroics could never compare to actually engaging in them in terms of what was more fulfilling.

“Would it be legal for us to bet on that pool?” Rose asked, and I had no idea for how long I had been absorbed into my own thoughts for me to have absolutely no idea of what she was talking about.

“I think I missed something. What pool?”

“There seems to be a betting pool on how you gained your powers”

“Wasn’t that a pool on if she was an alien or not?” Mark asked, confused.

“You hick, that was one of the options in the pool” Shayna teased him with a playful shove.

“How much money would you get with ‘magical artifact from another dimension’?” Regina inquired.

“Give me a second to check, we’re in a red light anyways.” Rose pulled out her phone and looked at it for a minute. “They have ‘magical artifact’ at one on ten odds, while ‘being from another dimension’ is currently at one on two hundred. Think we can make a custom combining the two?”

“We do that and suddenly our enemies have reason to believe that’s what she is.” Shayna frowned. “Way too specific.”

“Besides, I would personally not feel comfortable with us getting money this way. No one who’s gambling there knows what the truth is. But all of you do. That’s an unfair advantage, it’s something that villains would do.” I argued.

“Alright. Your origin, your rules I suppose.” Rose seemed miffed over this, but she dropped the subject. Was this about the lost opportunity to make money or me condemning her actions as morally wrong?

I had a long while to think, but I was still unable to form a conclusion by the time we were leaving the car and walking into Granny Gertrude. The Five Gs, as it was commonly called, was Fortress City’s humble restaurant chain, with all of the locations being placed within the metropolitan area of the city. No one knew quite well why that was, but the story that people shared around was that the company’s owner had some sort of code about eating at the restaurant at least once a day for quality control and that a question of distance prevented them from putting locations anywhere farther away.

I went to the counter to place our order while the others picked a table. It seems like it was a slow day, as there were only around ten or so people in the building apart from us and the workers. You wouldn’t find me complaining about not having to wait in line.

Minutes later, I arrived with the trays of food. My friends gave me an odd look as they realized that I had stacked the five on top of each other and carried them with me while using my arms as columns to keep them in place. “If anyone else had a better idea to carry five different sets of large sodas, gelatos and double stacked burgers, you’re more than welcome to try it out next time.” I rolled my eyes before distributing the meals.

“You could have just asked for two of us to help you out.” Mark said. “How did none of it fall while you made your way over?”

“Duh, do you think this was my first time doing this? I’ve obviously got some experience.” I stated the obvious as I sat on the free spot that had been left between Rose and Regina.

“Stacking trays.” Shayna commented, disbelieving it despite being something rather clear.

“Do the two of you just not do fast food?” I raised an eyebrow while unpacking my food.

“I’m pretty sure this is a you thing, Hera” Rose commented.

“Well, I’m glad you’re able to take their side, but I’m pretty sure this is something that most people would find normal.” I commented before dismantling my burger and pouring the mint gelato on top of it.

They all stared as if I had kicked a puppy or something equally heinous.

“What? Are you all going to gaslight me into thinking this is unusual too?”

“I know I’m not from here but that can’t be normal” Regina shook her head. “It’s ice cream. And you’re mixing it with meat. That’s not something that normal people do, regardless of what reality they live in.” To my annoyance, the rest was nodding in agreement with her.

“None of you have ever gone before to Granny Gertrude and it shows.” I sighed, not quite believing that I had to deal with this.

“The fuck are you talking about? When have you ever seen someone else do something like this?” Rose gave me a shove.

“Other than my family doing it since I have the age to remember? Or me and my friends doing it since we were little girls?” I defended myself, still baffled that this was a conversation that had to be had.

“Man, if anyone you were close to was as mental as you are, ah don’t want to imagine how we’re gonna turn out after a month of having to live with you” Shayna lamented, and this was enough teasing for me.

“While I eat this burger, you will all think that you’re seeing me eat you out.” I made the wish out of pure annoyance. If they couldn’t handle me doing something normal, they would have to deal with something truly bizarre.