Good Sex, by Zeebop

"Good Sex, by dickgirl guy. “Marcie, what the fuck is this shit?”

“From the description, it appears this is a story about good, wholesome sex stories.”

“Huuuuuuuuhhhhhh?”

“You seem…confused.”

“I mean, isn’t this illegal?”

“Will you stop accusing Zeebop of doing something illegal?”

“I’m just saying, is it even porn if it doesn’t feature in some sort?”

“Gina, please. Not every story needs to feature non consensual action.”

“Are you sure about that, Marcie? Because I’m pretty sure this is illegal.”

“Nonsense. We even had a few non stories featured ourselves.”

“Yeah, but those were fucked up in other ways. Like or Star Wars. Or Star Wars with .”

“We didn’t even cover that last one.”

“Oh, fuck me. Let’s just start this trash.”

“Very well.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

How I remember the taste of your lips,

Your nips between my teeth,

The kiss of your fingertips,

Your body moving underneath.

How I long to hold you again,

To laugh and cuddle and talk,

Until our love we cannot restrain,

Your place, Tonight, 8 O'Clock.

XXX,

Rory

“HUUUUUUUURLLLL!”

“Gina!”

“I can’t help it! I’m allergic to bad poetry!”

“Well, we are two paragraphs in and Gina has already voided the contents of of her stomach all over my collection of Star Wars figurines.”

“Sorry, mistook it for the bathroom.”

“Anyways, this is the same set up as Bad Sex. A four chapter long short story with each chapter offering up three choices.”

“Oh, but this time it’s not all bad sex but all good sex! Uhhhhh!”

“Gina…”

“Fine! First choice, obviously we go for the lesbian option, duh.”

“After an equally short second chapter, we get to choose what sort of depraved kinks our sapphic couple are into.”

“Exercising, cos...play or recreational substances. What the fuck is cosplay?”

“You can’t be serious, Gina.”

“Anything with the word play in it is freaky as fuck. Let’s go with it.”

"Wait...you're PussyForPalpatine!?" Rory had gasped, gobsmacked at the revelation.

“So, this girl is either infatuated by the emperor or likes the sequel trilogy. I am not sure what is worse.”

“Your obsession with Star Wars is.”

“The other girl apparently has a thing for Obi Wan. For lesbians they sure have some interesting tastes.”

“Yeah, whatever, these girls are nerds and into dressing up as comic characters. I don’t know any of these pairings but...Susan Storm?”

“Now there is a scary thought.”

“We are not choosing that one.”

“Catra/Adora then. You can not go wrong with catgirls.”

“Meh.”

“They are roleplaying She-ra getting captured by Catra. Sexy Shenanigans follow.”

“So, what you are telling me, Marcie. Instead of a story featuring a cool badass black haired catgirl a haughty evil blonde bitch we are getting two nerds roleplaying as that. You see the fucking problem here?”

“...Gina from now on your adding nyan after every sentence.”

“What the fucknyan! I’m not doing thatnyan! Fuck younyan!”

“Nice. But I do think there should be a follow up were She-ra gets her on the impudent catgirl, yes.”

A hot pink tongue slid up Alex's asshole as Rory stared, cross-eyed, at the pussy that was just beyond the tip of her nose. The vibrating hilt of the power sword, still wet with "Adora's" own juices, pressed against her lover's labia. Their mingled juices sprayed all over Rory's face as Alex moaned and gyrated her hips. Masturbating herself to complete while her girlfriend watched. Until her moans turned into little mewls, and the mewling into a single long, strained note that sent those thick thighs to quivering and made the fine hairs on Alex's pussy tickle Rory's nostrils.

"Achoo!"

The sneeze punctuated "Catra's" climax...and then Alex collapsed onto her side, laughing so hard she couldn't move for a solid moment, while Rory, still tied to the chair, sat there and sniffled and laughed too.

“This might have been the hottest thing dickgirl guy had ever written, not that that is saying muchnyan.”

“Oh?”

“Too bad he had to fucking ruin it with the whole anal shitnyan.”

“Anal...pfft shit…”

“Oh shut it, Marcienyan! I know I call him dickgirl guy but I swear when he isn’t writing about a girl with a dick he’s writing about a girl licking someone’s anusnyan!”

“Yes, as a normal person with normal taste I do struggle with that aspect of Zeebop’s writing.”

“Marcie, you crammed a fucking candybar up my assnyan. You are not one to talknyan.”

“Technically, Gina, you did that.”

“You know what I meannyan!”

“Yes, yes, well fortunately for you, Gina, this is already the end of the story.”

“Greatnyan. Why exactly are we featuring a story that blatantly violates the ten chapter rulenyan?”

“Because we did the same for Bad Sex. Besides, it is not like we have anything better to do.”

“Ugh...what else is therenyan? There’s also a branch were the two bitches are fitness freaksnyan.”

It looked like a pair of exercise bikes that had been intermingled, the handlebars facing each other. Except in the seats were two holes for dildoes. Rory walked around the machine and demonstrated how it worked by pushing the pedals with her hands. "See? The pedals on this side control the other person's dildo, and vice versa. And there are buttons in the handlebars where you can control the vibration speed of the dildoes. Faster, slower, off..."

“That does admittedly sound fun.”

“Don’t even go there, Marcienyan. I would destroy younyan.”

“Sure thing, kitty.”

“Do I have to remind you who made me go on daily runsnyan? I can run circles around younyan!”

“I do admit you are a pretty fast little kitty.”

“Stop saying thatnyan! And stop making me say nyannyan! Uggghhhhhnyan!”

“To get back on topic, I like the idea. I think an exercise based porn story could result in some unique premises. The cosplay one also had potential but hm…”

“Whatnyan?”

“No, in order for a theory to be proven one needs at least three examples. Let us take one more path. This time about a man seeking a woman.”

*angry Gina cat noises”

Which is how they ended up, overdressed at a local bowling alley, telling each other their life stories while sharing a strawberry milkshake. They had cemented their unexpected bond by ritually removing the app from their phones...and then there had been that awkward moment when they shared their first kiss, back in the no-tell motel. Alex had closed his eyes, oddly eager and excited, not wanting to push too hard too fast...their tongues had met, just probing at first, teasing. His hands had rubbed her thighs, pushing her skirt up. Rory's hands fumbled with his pants, almost tearing the belt off. The heat had built up between them, that first night, yet Alex would always remember that first kiss.

Strawberries.

“Marcie, I am about to puke againnyan.”

“Do it in the bathroom. And I don’t mean Count Dooku by that.”

Nor could he himself deny how powerful an erotic impulse came the thought that right here, right now, they could make a baby. That her little pudge a midsection could sweel and grow heavy. Her nipples would darken and grow puffier still, until they began to droop and leak thick cream. He could wake up in the middle of the night to feel her curled against him, and reach over and touch that taut, swollen abdomen.

“This is the most milque toast shit evernyan! All they are doing is having sex in order to get the bitch pregnant, because that’s the third on Zeebop’s unholy trinity of fetishesnyan.”

“Hm, Gina.”

“What is it, Marcienyan?”

“Would you like a baby?”

“Whatnyan? Nonyan! Are you crazynyan?”

“I won’t remain young forever, Gina. At one point I will need to think about creating an heir to carry my legacy.”

“Marcie, we are in fucking collegenyan.”

“True, well I won’t you of course.”

“I fucking hope sonyan! Besides why do I have to get pregnantnyan? Last time I checked you’re having a uterus toonyan!”

“I don’t want to make Cutie jealous.”

“Marcie...for fucks fucking sake, I’m just about...”

“EUREKA!”

“NYAN! DON’T SCREAM LIKE THATNYAN!”

“Gina, I think I just figured out the fatal flaw of this story.”

“Congratsnyan. Knowing you it can’ t be shit and dicksnyan.”

“The core premise is fundamentally flawed.”

“I mean, duhnyan.”

“I am particularly referencing the length. The idea itself isn’t...awful. But these stories are simply too short. For example if we add up all the chapters of the Catra/Adora path we end up with just four pages of writing.”

“Isn’t this the exact same shit you complained about Bad Sex, Marcienyan?”

“I am surprised you remember.”

“Nah, I just read through the review in preparation for this onenyan.”

“...are you feeling alright, Gina? You aren’t sick or anything?”

“NYAN!”

“But yes both “Bad Sex” And “Good Sex” obviously share quite a few similarities and shortcomings. I think the set up itself is fine, but the last chapter in particular should be longer. Or rather a multi part one. There is unreleased potential here.”

“You know what’s also unreleasednyan? My desire to masturbate to this crapnyan!”

“Do you have anything to add that does not involve fecal matter, Gina?”

“Wholesome shit needs to be earnednyan.”

“That is a no then.”

“No, listen here you haughty bitchnyan. With stories it’s one thing but when you want to write a happy lovey dovey sex scene you need to set it up properlynyan. You can’t just skip to the sex like this and expect me to give a shitnyan.”

“My, Gina. I always tend to forget that you are actually quite the romantic.”

“I scratch your eyes outnyan!”

“While our reasoning may be different, we both agree that the story needs to be longer. Huh, quite the rare occurrence.”

“I always fucking hate it when a story is so bad it made us agree on somethingnyan.”

“Anyways this concludes our review. Hm, last time the two Sams covered Tournament.”

“Sonyan?”

“Sonyan I wonder, if for the sake of keeping things balanced, Rory and Alex will do “Clothes for likes” this time around? After all it is a very wholesome story with no whatsoever.”

“Stop shilling that shit, Marcienyan.”

“What IS your obsession with feces this time around, Gina? Do I need to buy a litter box?”

“PISS OFFNYAN!”

“Better.”