Go to safe house

Alex is in such a daze after seeing the video that he doesn’t even think to question Katrina’s decision to go to the safe house. He rides in stunned silence, not responding to Smithers’ awkward attempts to engage him in smalltalk.

After driving for about an hour, the van’s driver announces that they are nearing the location of the safe house. This rustles Alex from his dazed stupor, and his training begins to kick in.

Smithers holds up a duffle bag. “I brought a change of clothes for both of you,” he says.

“Both us us?” asks Alex.

Katrina says, “I’ve been assigned to stay with you until we figure out what is going on.”

Alex gives the young woman a skeptical look. “I don’t need a babysitter.” He still wasn’t happy about the fact that she had been spying on him all this time, pretending to be a fellow student.

She places a comforting hand on his knee. “Look, Alex, I wasn’t any happier about lying to you than you are. We all have our assignments, and I was just doing my job. If it’s any consolation, though, can I just say that I’m really sorry about Sabina? I’ve seen a lot of you, and from what I can see, you’re a really great guy, and you deserve better.”

“And you can trust her when she says she’s seen a lot of you,” says Smithers. “Any time you’re interested, I’ve compiled a ‘Best of” video with some of the most exciting times between you and Sabina over the past few months.”

Katrina and Alex both give Smithers whithering looks. He turns his eyes downward, ashamed, and again holds up the dufflebag. “Um... Sorry... Probably not the best time about the video. But I do have a change of clothes for both of you. When we get to the safe house, I’ll need you both to hurry inside and change. You both have been seen today at your school, and we need to get rid of that clothing. You can both lay low at the safe house until MI6 can decide what needs to be done.”

Alex is about to protest the situation again, but at that moment the van comes to a screeching halt. The driver turns his head and says, “It’s all clear, but I don’t know how long we have. It would be best if I can get the van out of here in the next minute or so.”

Katrina throws open the van’s door, and she leads Alex and Smithers into small apartment building and up a narrow flight of stairs. Quickly unlocking a door, she dashes inside, followed by Alex, and with Smithers gasping for air from the rapid climb up the stairs.

Katrina announces, “I’ll change in the bathroom,” and hurries into the small room and closes the door.

“Hand me your clothes,” says Smithers, through gasps. “I’ll dispose of it when I get away from here.”

Alex is still unhappy about the situation, but his training demands that he do exactly as Smithers says. Quickly peeling off his clothes, down to his boxers, he hands them over to Smithers.

“Wow! Now, that’s impressive!” says Smithers. Alex follows Smithers’ gaze, and is alarmed that the older man appears to be looking at his crotch.

“Smithers! What the fuck?” he protests.

Realizing what Alex must be thinking, Smithers’ face turns bright red. “I mean — your boxers.... I was just admiring the design!”

Alex relaxes slightly at the explanation and looks down. The sight of his boxer briefs reminds him again of Sabina. She was the one who gave them to him. They are black and designed to be tight fitting, emphasizing Alex’s already-impressive package. On either hip is a white sillouette of a nude woman. The crotch has a picture of a Winchester revolver with a long barrel that coincides with the outline of Alex’s dick. In bright red letters on the front and back is spelled, “0-0-69 ... Licensed to Screw.” Pictures of condom packages with targets superimposed on them appear in several places around the tight-fitting undergarment.

Alex feels a cold hand around his heart when he remembers how excited Sabina was when she gave the underwear to him. Their affection for each other grew steadily and developed from kisses and long, intimate backrubs of high school. Now that they are in college together, they essentially fucked like rabbits at least once — and usually twice or more — per day. The thought that she had been playing him and was actually in league with SCORPIA made him want to puke.

The bathroom door opens slightly, and Katrina’s arm emerges, tossing out her discarded clothes. Smithers scoops them up, pausing briefly to sniff them. He smiles slightly and then tosses the dufflebag to Alex.

“Here’s your change of clothes. I have to run. Someone will be in touch.”

With one last sniff of Katrina’s discarded clothing, Smithers leaves the apartment, closing and locking the door behind him.

“Throw me my change of clothes,” says Katrina from the bathroom.

Alex opens the dufflebag and reaches inside for some fresh clothing. He is grateful that Katrina will not have to see him in his embarrassing boxer briefs. No sooner does his hand enter the bag, however, than he freezes. He opens the bag wider and looks inside.

“Um... Katrina,” he says. “I have some bad news.”

She sticks her head out of the bathroom door. “What’s the matter?”

Alex holds up the dufflebag so she can see inside. “I think Smithers gave us the wrong bag.” As he holds it up, three Twinkies and a box of cookies fall out. The remaining contents of the bag are more of the same.

“There’s no clothing in there?” she asks, incredulously. “Go get him before they drive off!”

“I’m in my underwear!” protests Alex. “Can’t you call him?”

“I don’t have my phone; protocols state that we come to the safe house clean from all electronics, in case we are being tracked. What are we going to do?”