Go big or go home

Every week we all gather in our living room to watch a movie and eat takeaway together. And I decide that this is a perfect time to use my powers. I don’t really understand why I’m so sure that this is going to work but I’m not doubting it at all.

We all settle down once the takeaway arrives, we decided on pizza today. One of my cousins chooses a film and as usual I’m in charge on the remote. Before it starts I click pause, causing everyone to turn and look at me in confusion. Time to give it a try I guess.

“I heard about a new law today.” I start, nervous despite my assurance. “The er, government has decided that in the event that there is no father in a household then the eldest son must take responsibility for the house and is in charge of everyone in the house.”

“Really?” My mom asks. “Wow ok. In what way are they in charge? This is obviously going to change things in the house.”

“It means that you guys have to do everything I say. The law says I own you now.”

“Oh god.” One of my sisters say. “Is this just while we live here?”

“Yes but it’s ok! You all like the idea of me owning you! You’ve always wanted to be owned and to have me own you is a dream come true! In fact you’ve all spoken to each other about how much you want it!” All of their facial expressions quickly change from mild discomfort to joy and excitement.

“That’s true Thomas. I don’t know how you know this but it’s true. We’re all so happy to be owned by you.” One of them says.

“They’ve actually changed a few laws?” I say, rather excitedly. “A new piece of scientific research has shown that **** doesn’t actually cause any birth defects! So they’ve made **** legal! And I know all of you are attracted to each other and are particularly attracted to me, so this is amazing for all of us!” This made their faces light up even more.

“Wow! Any other laws? You said there were more?”