Go back with them

“So anyways.” Alyona continues to explain as we approach our building. “We were able to convince them to reassign me. Now, I go wherever he goes.”

“She’s good to have around, she knows how to use that thing.” Anton tells me, letting us go inside first. He smacks Alyona’s ass when she passes him. “And she’s a good kisser.”

“A little more than that!” She says over her shoulder, we reach the basement and head to our area.

“Hey Anton, what took you so long?” Valentin asks.

“I found a picture of your mom.” Anton answers him. It elicits a snicker from both of them.

“Really?” Nikolai asks. “Can I borrow it?”

“Oh, fuck off.” Valentin says and jabs his arm.

“Come and sit down.” Nikolai urges us, and we take a moment to lean our weapons aside. The three of us sit with the two of them, Alyona resting her head on Anton’s shoulder.

“So, first day in the city?” Nikolai asks me. “How was it?”

“It was shit.” I tell him bluntly.

“Ivan told the two of us.” He says to me. “I was really sorry to hear about it. That’s rough.”

“I didn’t ask.” Anton speaks up. “Did you get any kills today?”

“Not today.” I answer.

“Have you ever killed somebody before?” Valentin asks me.

“A few.” I answer him.

“How many?”

“Do you have a piece of paper?” I ask.

“A piece of paper?” Nikolai asks, shocked.

“Hold on. Let’s see…” I begin, thinking out loud and using my fingers. “Two in the apartment, another two in an ambush, so four, then five, two in the alley, the three in the car, so ten. Then, another two or three in the truck, call it twelve, then I stabbed another guy, then another, shot another, so fifteen. Then another five, so Twenty. That I know of.”

“Twenty?” Alyona asks. “Shit!”

“Fuck!” Anton exclaims. “I never would have thought!”

“You’ll fit right in here.” Valentin tells me.

“How many did all of you get today?” I ask.

“One.” Nikolai says.

“None today.” Valentin says.

“Two.” Anton tells me.

“Ha.” A sickening voice comes from behind me. I immediately cringe. Nikolai and Valentin look at each other.

“Try four.” Maxim says loudly, sitting right next to me. “You pussies are going to make me do everything by myself!”

Nikolai sighs.

“You do lots of things by yourself.” Anton rips at him.

“What do you even want?” Valentin asks.

“I just wanted to talk to this pretty girl.” Maxim says, trying to sound smooth, and putting his hand on my shoulder. I yank it back away from him. Valentin sighs, closes his eyes and beats the back of his own head against the wall behind him.

“Let us know how that goes for you.” Nikolai says, standing up. “Be careful, she’s dangerous.” The pair of them leaves, and Maxim tries to lean closer to me.

“Isn’t it nice that we finally get to spend some time together?” Maxim asks. “I’d really like to get to know you better.”

“Would you?”

“I’d like to get to know every last centimeter of you, baby.” He leers.

“Really?” Anton asks him.

“Stay out of this.” Maxim snaps. “You have your girl, and I have mine.”

“I am not your girl.” I tell him.

“Not yet.” Maxim says. “Not until you see how much of a nice guy I am.” He puts his hand on my leg. “And how good I am in bed.”

I slap his hand away and bolt straight up.

“Come on.” Maxim begs, standing up with me. “I bet you’re really lonely. Let me give you a kiss to cheer you up.”

“No.”

“You can sleep with me tonight.” He offers. “We can cuddle. I’ll keep you nice and warm.”

Anton stands up.

“Maxim, I told you to leave her alone.”

“Don’t ruin this for me, Anton.”

“Clearly she doesn’t want you to bother her.”

“I’m not bothering her.” Maxim argues. “She’ll come around. I’m good at convincing women to do things.”

“Look, Maxim. She doesn’t want to. Leave this poor girl alone.”

“No way! I haven’t gotten laid in over a month!”

Maxim shoves Anton, and the two men start grappling with each other.

“Enough!” A commanding voice shouts from behind us. It’s Ivan.

“Yes, sir.” Maxim sighs, and slinks away in defeat.

“I wanted to talk to you.” Ivan says to me. “Let’s go for a walk.”

I follow Ivan away from the others, and we sit down together.

“I’m really sorry about Evgeny.” He says to me. I lean my head on his shoulder, and he pats my back. “He was a good friend of mine.”

“He was a good boyfriend. He taught me so much.” I tell Ivan defeatedly. “He worked so hard to convince his superiors to send me to sniper school. They sent me here instead.”

“Things are **** here.” He tells me. “They need everybody they can muster. If the Germans reach the Volga, if they take this city… the oil fields will be cut off, and the entire country will collapse.”

“How has the battle been going?” I ask.

“Poorly.” Ivan answers me. “We lose a little more ground every day. We take some back, then lose it again, and then some. The Germans have reached the city center, and dominate in the South. We are managing to hold them in the central part of the city, and in the factory district in the north.”

“How long?” I ask.

“I don’t know, but our backs are against the wall here.” Ivan says to me. “How was your crossing into the city?”

“The barge we were in was torn apart by a fighter plane. Almost twenty men killed before they even set foot on the docks.”

“And the docks?”

“It wasn’t any better there.” I tell him. “Chaos. We had to run through artillery to get away from the landing. The fighting was only a few blocks away.”

“That’s worse than when I last heard.” Ivan says.

“Anyways.” He sighs. “You’re new here. Do you have any experience fighting?”

“I have some, but nothing like this.”

“Do you have any experience as a sniper?”

“No.” I answer. “But I can shoot.”

“That’s a start.” Ivan says. “I’ll teach you. When we go out tomorrow, you’re going to be partnered with me.”

“Understood, sir. I won’t let you down.”

“Excellent.” He says. “Now you go back there and try to get a little bit of sleep, okay?”

“Okay.” I say, standing up. “Thank you.”

Ivan lingers but I get up and go back to the others, where I try to find Alyona and Anton.

“Hey baby.” I hear Maxim’s voice from behind me. “Are you ready to cuddle up with me?”

I ignore him and keep walking. I find my favorite couple off in a corner, making out with each other.

“Hey, Tatya!” Alyona says once she pulls back from him. “Come over here.”

I sit in the corner next to them.

“How are you holding up?” Alyona asks.

“I might shoot Maxim before the Germans get the chance.”

“Don’t worry.” She laughs, and gives me a hug. “Stay against the wall and we’ll protect you from him.”

“Thank you.” I say. “Both of you. Thank you for being my friends.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Alyona says. “We like you.”

“How do you feel?” Anton asks.

“Shitty.” I answer. “I was supposed to be here with Evgeny. This place… what the fuck is this place?”

“Hell.” Anton says bluntly.

“I’m so fucking terrified.” I tell them. “I’ve never been so fucking terrified. I almost pissed myself four or five times today.”

“Almost?” Anton asks with a laugh. “You’re doing better than you think.”

“How do you deal with this place? How do you deal with being here?” I ask. “How do you take it?”

“Should I tell her?” Anton asks Alyona.

“It helped me.”

“Listen, Tatya.” Anton says. “This is the way I see it. You are already dead. Your fate was sealed the moment you stepped on that boat.”

“But I’m still here!” I object. “I’m not giving up yet!”

“I didn’t say to give up.” Anton says. “Look, it can be hard to accept at first, but once you do, once you accept that you are dead, you can shed some of the fear. It takes some of the pressure off.”

I stammer, trying to find a response.

“You might not understand tonight, but a few more days in this city and you will know exactly what I mean.”

He continues. “You have nothing to lose, because you have already lost everything. So, laugh in the devil’s face and fight without fear.”

“I appreciate you trying.” I tell him. “But I don’t feel much better. I’m still scared.”

“Me too, honestly.” He says. “I try to buy into it myself, and it helps a little, but not enough.”

Alyona speaks up. “What my eloquent boyfriend is trying to tell you, is that from here on out, every moment you live is a bonus, so try and enjoy the little things.”

“The little things?” I ask. “I’ll try.”

“And also,” Anton adds. “With every invader that you kill, our odds of winning the battle improve. That said, we should all try to get a little bit of rest. We have another big day tomorrow.”

“Do you have any idea what we’re going to do?” I ask.

“We’re going to go hunting.” He says.

“Obviously, but where?”

“Wherever they need our help.”

The three of us start to stretch out. I stay tight against the wall, Alyona right on the other side of me, and Anton beyond her. We burrow underneath an old blanket. The two of them spoon each other, facing me. Alyona puts one of her legs over me and snuggles up against me.

“Comfy?” She asks me. I look up at the ceiling. Tears well in my eyes.

“It’s okay.” She whispers, and kisses my cheek. “We’re going to take care of you.”

I cuddle with them, and close my eyes, trying my best to fall asleep. The night begins to drag on but sleep does not come to me. I keep my eyes closed and try to lay perfectly still, focusing on my breathing, in order to trick myself into sleeping. This goes on for what feels like a long time.

I feel Alyona’s warm body slip off of mine.

“I think she’s finally asleep.” I hear her whisper softly.

I start to hear the sounds of shuffling and lips smacking from next to me.

“Mmmm.” I hear somebody moan into the other’s mouth. I keep my eyes tightly shut to avoid the awkwardness.

“Take it out.” I hear Alyona whisper, and I hear more sounds of shuffling, and more kissing. The blanket is pulled halfway off my body, but I hold still.

“I need you inside of me.”

They squirm around next to me, parts of their bodies touching me. I hear a soft moan. I feel Alyona’s hip against me, rhythmically being pushed back with Anton’s grunting. If they knew I was awake, I would die of embarrassment. They’re practically on top of me.

I take an elbow to the ribs, and the two of them freeze.

“Be careful.” Alyona whispers.

“Don’t worry.” Anton whispers back. “She’s still sleeping.”

The thrusting and shuffling continues for a long time, soft moans coming from the two of them. I remain silent. Finally, after what feels like forever, I hear Anton grunting and I feel their bodies shaking against my arm. The two of them roll off each other, panting.

“Fuck, that was good.” Anton whispers.

I hear more shuffling as they squirm around more, putting their clothes back on. Alyona snuggles back up against me, and Anton behind her. She throws the blanket back over me and strokes my hair.

“She’s out like a light.” She whispers. “Looks like we got away with it.”