Go With Princess Bubblegum

“I think I’ll stay here,” Finn said. The other two looked disappointed, while Princess Bubblegum looked like she was trying to keep herself from doing a victory dance.

“Splendid!” PB said, before leaving to go get something.

“Well, since you’re not gonna be staying with us, here,” Cake said as she gave Finn a cellphone. “It’s already got my number in it, so if you ever want to chat, just give me a call, ok?”

“Here Finn,” PB said as she returned and handed him a blue shirt and jeans. “Your clothes were practically in ribbons when we found you, so I took the liberty of getting you some new ones.”

“Thank you, your majesty,” Finn said with a bow.

The princess giggled. “You don’t need to be so formal. Most princesses in Ooo aren’t that uptight, you can just call me PB.” Later that night, PB was showing Finn to his room. “And here’s where you’ll be staying,” PB said. The room was a very lavish dark pink room.

“Princess,” a voice called, the two looked to see a humanoid Candy Maid that had bleach white skin, and red stripes along her sides. The Candy Maid was incredibly short, standing at maybe around three and a half feet, and her outfit did little to hide her very plump figure. “Is there anything you need-? Oh!” The Maid looked at Finn in surprise. “A man?!” The Maid gasped.

“Everything is fine, Peppermint Maid,” PB dismissed the servant, who left while keeping eye contact from Finn, resulting in the short stack maid bumping into a wall. “I hope you enjoy your stay,” PB told the human.

“Thank you, PB,” Finn said. “By the way, what was with your maid? Do you just not have many guys here in the castle?”

“Oh, no, you see Finn, there are no men here in Ooo,” PB said casually.

“Come again?” Finn asked.

PB nodded. “There haven't been any men in Ooo for a thousand years. You’re actually the first man to be on Ooo since the Great Mushroom War.”

“The Great Mushroom war?” Finn asked, confused.

“We can talk more about that tomorrow,” PB reassured. “There’s a bathroom across the hall, in case you want to unwind, I imagine you’re pretty stressed out. I have some…things I need to attend to, have a good night!” PB said as she made her leave.

Finn decided to take up PB’s offer and went to the bathroom. The room was a pale white, and the bathtub was rather odd. Though Finn couldn’t remember ever seeing a tub before, he didn’t recall ever seeing one that was sunken into the floor, and more resembled a jacuzzi than a bathtub, but the nearby collection of soaps and shampoos on the side said otherwise. Finn just shrugged and assumed that it was some kind of cultural thing.

The young man filled the tub and began cleaning himself up with the soaps left on the side. As the Human scrubbed his body, his mind drifted back to today’s events. He thought about the girls he met, how they were so kind to a complete stranger like him, but as he thought about them his mind began to focus more and more on their bodies. Finn tried to stop these perverse thoughts, not only did he barely know these women, but they were kind enough to offer him places to stay, it wasn’t right to think of them that way.

Finn was pulled from his thoughts when he heard a creaking sound. He looked to see that the bathroom door was slightly ajar, and he saw someone peeking in before quickly hiding. “Is someone there? You can come out, I’m not upset or anything,” Finn reassured. In all honesty he kind of expected something like this was going to happen. If what PB said about him being the only man Ooo has seen in a thousand years is true, it made sense that some of the native inhabitants would be curious about him.