Get a job!

Now that you've solved the problem of being ugly, you should have definitely have better luck at auditions. You go through your emails for the latest casting calls that fit your new impressive physique, and after a few minutes you find the perfect one.

"Open casting call for a tall, 6ft+ fit male to star in a horror thriller alongside the female lead, Lindsey Pelas. Must be attractive and charming. Any level experience is welcome."

You immediately set a date for the audition and download the sample script. Acting with Lindsey Pelas? That's a no brainer. And the description of the male lead fit you perfectly. You would blow this role out of the water and be the best actor there ever was, but just to make sure you write a new rule:

New Rule: The owner of the Rulebook is the best actor there ever was. He is extremely versatile and can play any role perfectly with ease and everybody is amazed by his skill when they see him act. He can grasp a script and a role and embody that role with perfection after reading the script only once.

You immediately read the whole script in five minutes and instantly understand the role perfectly. All the intricacies of the character click into place and you can almost presciently grasp the intentions of the writer who designed your role. You know instinctively how to portray the character on screen- how to show his emotions, how to naturally embody him, how to stand and sit and display yourself on camera.

You know in your bones that you are now the best actor there ever was or ever will be. People will be lauding your name for generations after just this one movie- you know it.

Before you realize it, you're standing in front of a camera with a casting director and his assistant, reading lines for a horror thriller called The Monster Within. It's about a small town where a mysterious disease spreads, which causes those infected to have vivid hallucinations about monsters. Those visions get worse until the victims start turning up dead, from seemingly impossible causes, like being dissolved in acid or being beheaded. You play Lawrence West, a college kid who's returned for the summer and starts a summer romance with Lindsey Pelas' character, also called Lindsey. Together, the two of you stumble upon the source of this disease, a ritual circle that summoned an evil spirit deep in a hidden cave. The plot twist is that Lindsey herself cast the ritual, but the evil spirit consumed the memories of her doing so, causing her to forget how and why she did it. She only wanted to escape her abusive stepfather, but the evil spirit tempted her to do the ritual and now she must recover her memories to figure out how to undo the summons.

It wasn't a terrible plot, but definitely one fit for a B-rated horror flick. Also, you didn't think there was enough sex with the lead actress in the script, which is something you would be changing as soon as possible.

"And... begin!" said the casting director. You immediately transform yourself to become Lawrence West, a funny and charming college stud. The lines you're reading are from the end of the movie, near the reveal that Lindsey has been the source of the disease all along. Unfortunately, she's not here right now and the casting assistant is taking her place.

The script reads: Scene: Deep within the cave, surrounded by eerie shadows, Lawrence and Lindsey stand near the ritual circle. The air is thick with tension as the truth begins to unfold.

You start your lines, without a script as you've memorized it all. Your posture, facial expressions, and tone are perfect.

(Breathlessly) "Lindsey, we’ve been looking for answers everywhere, but this... this is where it all began, isn’t it?"

The casting assistant responds:

(Nervously) "I didn’t mean for any of this to happen! I just wanted to be free, to escape him!"

"Free? You unleashed something horrific on this town! How could you not remember?"

(Voice trembling) "I swear, I didn’t know! It was all so dark and twisted… I thought I was calling for help!"

The script then called for Lawrence to take a step closer and to speak softly. You do that masterfully, so well, in fact, that the casting assistant's breath hitches as your massive form leans over her.

(Taking a step closer) "Help? This isn’t help! People are dying, Lindsey! You need to remember what you did!"

Then, Lindsey is supposed to tear up, about to cry, but the assistant can't manage then when she's so flustered with you being close to her and instead just focuses on her script and tries to read with emotion.

"I can’t! It’s like there’s a fog over my mind… But… I can feel something lurking there, something I can’t grasp."

You then gently cup her face, tilting her head upwards to stare at her. "Listen to me. We can fix this. We’ll face it together. Whatever happened, we’ll find a way to undo it."

"Um..." the assistant nearly forgets her lines as she stares into my blue eyes, but then gathers herself.

(Taking a shaky breath, resolve building) "I won’t let this spirit consume any more lives. I have to remember… for everyone."

(Holding her gaze, sincere) "Then let’s dive into that darkness together. You’re not alone in this."

(Nodding, determination in her eyes) "No more running. I’ll face my past—and whatever that thing is—head-on."

(A moment of silence hangs between them, the weight of their shared burden palpable.)

(Leaning in slightly) "Lindsey…"

(Barely above a whisper) "Lawrence…"

(He hesitates for a heartbeat, then closes the distance, their foreheads touching.)

You then say, "Whatever happens, I’ll be right here with you."

Now, this is where the scene was supposed to end. But you've done such a masterful job so far, perfectly playing this role, that you had the casting director, and more importantly, his female assistant hooked. So, since the tension was already sufficiently built up, you lean in and kiss her mouth.

The assistant responds eagerly, melding her lips with yours, sharing a kiss that you keep tender and soft, as the plot demands for this moment.

"Oh, Lawrence..." she breathes against your mouth. She was really feeling it.

The kiss keeps going for a few seconds, long enough that maybe the casting director was one of those Hollywood creeps, but the assistant certainly enjoys it, closing her eyes and even rubbing your muscular arms.

"Alright, that's enough!" the casting director says. "I daresay you did a fine job, son. The kiss was marvelous improvisation. I think I have to give you the role now, or Tori here would probably quit!"

Tori, the assistant, still seems slightly shaken and can only respond with an "Ahem..."

"So, I've got the job?"

"Of course! We start filming in a week! Make sure you're ready by then!"