Fucking Catwoman.

No, not literally. Asa was working, Diamond was working, Kianna was working and frankly, I was just tired. Also, I was expecting to hear from Batman, or even just have him show up again, in his terrifying way. So rather than go anywhere interesting. I just decided to go home. Also, to be frank, I’d been going nonstop for a while and I was tired. I wanted to lie in my bed, watch terrible television, eat something that was delivered to my apartment and not move or think.

I managed to physically do that for about an hour. But my stupid brain wouldn’t stop turning over. There was no doubt in my mind that Batman would succeed…which meant I’d have to be fucking bait. Between Parley and Drop Dead, I had a few options if I saw Jinx coming and could talk. But if she managed to take me by surprise, or magic me **** or some shit, I was as **** as anyone else. But that wasn’t what I was thinking about. I’d thought that through when I decided to let the stupid wannabe hero in my brain agree to this. And when I’d had that idiot under control and refused it.

No, what I was thinking about was the fact that I was doing what Batman wanted, because Catwoman had robbed someone I…cared about. Someone Batman knew I cared about. Okay, robbed someone insured by Diamond. Whatever. I didn’t know how he could have set that up, though the rumors about him and Catwoman suggested that getting her to do the robbery wouldn’t be hard. But I didn’t see how he could know that it would land on Diamond rather than her predecessor. I doubted even he just knew every crime happening in Gotham, especially the white collar ones you couldn’t learn about lurking on rooftops and eavesdropping on thugs.

I couldn’t see how he’d done it, but some part of me was absolutely certain he had. That this was all a trap and I’d walked into it, without being able to fucking prove it. Which, combined with my goals for the evening, made the fact that there was a beautiful woman standing in my apartment, dressed in a skintight catsuit, as I came back in with my food rather more annoying than it might otherwise have been. She tossed a bag at my head, which I barely managed to catch, dropping half my food on the ground. The bag clinked.

“The Cats-Eye Collection, ransomed by Batman and returned, as promised,” she purred, posing deliberately to draw the eye.

Fortunately, one thing you can say for my current life is that it meant even my backbrain didn’t feel the need to stare. Much.

I grumbled, put it down on the counter, put my food on the table, then poured the bag out.

“Don’t trust me, pet?” she asked, smile audible despite the fact that I wasn’t looking at her, but rather staring at a literal fortune on my dining room table.

“Nope.”

“I’m hurt.” Her voice was full of false insult, an excuse to be angry, to attack, to take back the gems? Maybe, I fucking hate dealing with criminals. At least without the app and I somehow doubted I was getting my hands on her, or that she was taking anything from me.

“You misunderstand. I’m not saying I don’t trust you. I don’t trust you, but I’m not saying that. I’m saying that I don’t trust Batman,” I said, glancing up at her, then back down to the collection. All I could do was count, as I sure as fuck couldn’t tell real gems from fake.

“You don’t trust the great and powerful Batman?” The fake anger was gone, replaced with honest confusion…probably.

“Do I look stupid to you?” I asked, stupidly.

“Yep.”

I glared at her for a moment, then restarted counting the gems. “You made me lose count.”

“You never told me why you don’t trust Batman.”

“He wanted me to do something. I told him to pound sand. Then you do something which puts a friend of mine in a shit position, the only way to fix that is to make a deal and give him what he wants. I’ve made it twenty-nine years without ever needing Batman’s help. And the moment he needs something from me, I find myself needing something from him. What a fucking coincidence.”

And then I discovered Intimidating Presence definitely didn’t work on supervillains, even low level ones like Catwoman, at least not at its current level as I was pinned to the wall, feeling claws on my throat and digging into my arm as she slammed me into the wall.

“You think I’m Batman’s little pet?” she hissed into my ear in a decidedly non-erotic way. “I belong to no one! I obey no one!” She slammed a knee hard into my groin, though I managed to twist enough that I got a bruised thigh, not ruptured testicles and punched me hard as I went down, sending me sprawling on the floor. It didn’t knock me out, but by the time I got up, she was gone. The gems were still there though.

And one other thing had been gained:

Target Acquired: Selina “Catwoman” Kyle: -65 SP

Well, wasn’t that interesting…