Fucking (and) Phone Calls

You awakened to a blowjob from the Amish 18-year-old. You smiled, before coming to your senses and cumming into her throat. You gently pushed her off of you and into the pizza girl's arms. Checking your phone, you cursed loudly, "Fuck!", at the realization you had both fallen asleep and did not bother recording the action.

"I need you two to fuck each other and post it on my PornHub page. Here's my password and user info. Take some pictures, too, and use your full names." They nodded at this reasonable request, as Leigh left to go find her clothes and phone.

Scratching your balls, you pondered if the extra stamina and sexual energy from your condition had a side effect of longer and deeper sleeps. You vaguely remembered hearing that 3-Hourers were prone to comas in their old age, and you dreaded the idea of sleeping for decades, fucking nurses unconsciously as your rapidly-healing body very slowly wasted away.

Deciding to Google this as you pace out into the hallway, still naked and reeking of sex, you instead see over a dozen texts, sexts, and missed calls. In addition to Caitlin sending some more nudes, Dana sent you a taste of what she and her husband were up to last night. Apparently some more anal and making out with the babysitter. You flipped through some topless pics of one of your volleyball players, Beth, who wanted to come over, before stopping at a text from Julie.

It was Monday morning. You had slept in and Julie decided to go back to her college classes. She had stated her wish to skip college for awhile to relieve you sexually, but you had proven over a busy weekend that you were perfectly willing to use anyone and everyone to relieve sexual pressure.

Julie's simple text read: "Went w Luna to class. C u l8r daddy. Keep on fuckin!" A little short for a Julie text, but you were relieved she was staying in school. And good on Luna for protecting her from any weirdos now that you were sexually infamous.

Luna sent a following text telling you that a Sergeant Kris Mohr would take over your post. You were curious to see if Kris was going to be an attractive lay, only to find out Kris was a 6'5" tall black man as he approached your front door

"Mr. Doe," he nodded at you on the porch in full uniform.

"Sergeant," you nodded back in full glory from the doorway.

The air was tense as Sergeant Mohr felt you didn't want or expect his presence, but he and you ignored it. You paced in the front yard, calling up your secretary.

"Tina. Yeah. I'm getting plenty of sex, thank you. Yeah, I was thinking of reopening tomorrow. We can talk about back pay. Thanks again for the offer, but I'm covered. See you then."

Tina Fuentes had been your secretary for a couple years now. She replaced your wife Cassie, who was acting as secretary since you opened your own office about ten years ago. Tina was young and attractive, and her hiring was a point of contention that may have led to your wife's seperation, despite the fact that she initially pushed for Tina as her replacement when she was offered a job as a receptionist in the city.

Despite your wife's insinuations, you never cheated on her. Never had an affair with Tina. Tina was, in fact, an open lesbian with a devoted wife and adopted kids. And you wouldn't risk a potential sexual harassment suit anyway. Of course, now you would surely fuck Tina tomorrow, with no qualms from anybody.

Following your conversation and musings, you had wandered out of your yard, and out of the cul de sac, into the much nicer, wealthier estates down the street.

"Excuse me..." said an annoying, shrill voice from a spoiled teenage brat that lived here. "Just because you have that stupid sex disease doesn't mean you can trespass on our property. Get your flabby ass back down the hill."

"Shut the fuck up," you said, curtly. She stared daggers at you as you further ordered her to "take off all those designer clothes and lay here in the grass."

As she began stripping, a voice was heard from the house. "Maia? What's going on?" said an older, worried looking man.

"I'm just going to fuck your daughter, sir. Shouldn't take too long." He nodded and retreated back into his home.

You took photos of Maia. Her platinum blonde hair. Her lithe form. Outer beauty not matching the inner ugliness. You were erect, but you didn't feel like gifting her the responsiblity of a child. Not yet.

Instead you ordered her to jerk you off, as you continued to take nice snapshots of the activities. She didn't give you a blowjob, but her handjob technique was top notch. You came pretty quickly, covering her face and chest with long strings of ejaculate. She asked "is that all?" and you backslapped her down.

"I told you to stay fucking quiet!" you yelled, before pushing her down. You grabbed her expensive clothes and stormed off back down the hill. You looked back to see her dad help her up and lead her into the house. No one cared to stop you.

Arriving back at your house, you hand the clothes to Sergeant Mohr. "Give these to Leigh. The blue-haired chick in the master bedroom." He raises an eyebrow, but follows the order and goes back into the home. You lean up against the RV, as your mom exits, wearing a loose T-shirt but otherwise bottomless.

"Johnny," she says, hugging you. She reaches down and feels your penis, sniffing and licking her fingers immediately. "Did you just have sex?"

You bashfully reply, "Not really. I just came on some teenager's face." She nodded happily at this report, before going on and on about how she and your dad ****, tortured, and fucked the nun in a way they hoped you wanted.

You burst into the RV, spotting your dad kicking the curled up Sister Agnes, who appears covered in filth. "Hey, kiddo..."

"What the hell, Dad? Did you piss on her?" you bend down to help up the shivering sister.

"She mostly pissed herself, first. But yeah, I may have pissed on her."

You ignore his further protestations as you gingerly remove the makeshift gag and untie her hands. Sister Agnes looks at you in trepidation, shying from your embrace as you push your naked, cowboy boot-wearing father out your way.

"Mom, Dad," you say carrying the partially bound nun over your shoulders between the RV and your front porch, "thanks for stopping by. But I need you to leave. Right now. I don't need this kind of fucking in my life."

Your mother seems upset. Your father annoyed. But they act upon your needs, and the RV is started within the minute. They'll probably have to hose it down at the nearest rest stop.

You feel eyes from all six houses watching this commotion. Old Mrs. Hennessy being a busybody. Ted grabbing the morning newspaper. Mr. Wilson, Mrs. Logan, glancing through their respective blinds. Mandy flanked by the Abagnale boys peering out from their window. You nod at her as Sergeant Mohr helps you carry your charge in the door.

Leigh takes Agnes upstairs to clean her up and calm her down. You have Rebecca prepare you a bath in the other bathroom. She wipes you down wordlessly, as you admire her naked body and take some phone calls.

Domino's is a little annoyed that you kidnapped and **** their delivery girl. You tell them you need her a few more days for sex, and they relent once you agree to be charged the price of the five pizzas she never delivered.

You advise Principal McNamara that you will resume coaching the volleyball team tomorrow. And that you will also stop by the school today to sign some paperwork and get a brief briefing on how to approach the three-hour rule in a public high school setting.

Dr. Mitchell calls to confirm that you're still on for fucking some coma patients at the hospital this afternoon. You agreed already, but realize it's a lot of fucking. You may be fucking too much, you think, as you pull Rebecca in for another blowjob.

A surprisingly short while later, you're dressed in shorts, an OVHS t-shirt, and sandals, as naked Rebecca leads you to the door. Leigh is now dressed in the designer clothes you stole and stands there with Sergeant Mohr and Sister Agnes, both dressed in their respective uniforms.

"I'm going to the high school. Rebecca, I need a maid, so you're in charge of housework and meal prep. If Mandy shows up, tell her she can go back home or to work or whatever. Leigh, if you want to stay, you can help Rebecca, buy groceries and stuff, and maybe mow the lawn."

Leigh readily agreed to stay, as you suspected she would. You fish an old credit card out of your wallet. "There's only about $200 on here, so don't go crazy.

"Sister, you're with me. Sergeant, if you need to follow me, keep your distance."

Sister Agnes had been clinging to your side, still a little shell-shocked. You and her hop in the '57 Ford that Rebecca's dad lent you, and you speed out of the residential area, with Sergeant Mohr struggling to keep up.