Friendly Advice

It was a silent drive to Chloe’s apartment as I could see the introspection twirl in her Noise. I think she was beginning to understand that a relationship with me was going to be different. Really understand. Different far more than she had expected. She wasn’t afraid of me or my Gift. It was more embarrassment and shame, with a few spikes of guilt and panic when she caught me looking at her, remembering what I could see.

She knew now that there would be no hiding her feelings from me. Everything she felt, I would see. Maybe it would have been different if there was some give and take there, but the side effect of my Gift meant my emotions remained out of sight, locked away in a place she could never see. I was working on that. Emoting, communication, there was still much more I needed to do. It made me wish I listened to Sophie. She was always pushing me, telling me I needed to show more.

Chloe was leaning comfortably back in her seat as I pulled up to the curb. Neither of us moved for a moment. Curiosity and courage were building up inside her as I waited for her to speak her mind.

“What is it like? Not, um, feeling emotions?”

I considered for a moment.

“Emotions… I grasp their logic, their patterns, much like a mathematician analyzing formulas and equations. But their essence, the raw feeling? That eludes me. Emotion, to me, is like a complex symphony I can appreciate, decipher, yet its melody never truly resonates within me. Imagine light, but as a vast electromagnetic spectrum. Invisible waves, each carrying a unique frequency, a distinct emotion. You perceive them all, vibrant and diverse, like a kaleidoscope. To me, they're a theoretical spectrum, understood but intangible like how infrared and ultraviolet light cannot be seen normally.” I could see in her Noise she was struggling to understand.

“Perhaps it is better to say I am aware of them, and they do have some level of effect on me. However, they do not move me the same way they do you. For me, emotion is seen instead of felt.” Her eyes never left mine. “I hope that makes sense.”

“Kind of, yeah,” she said before nibbling lightly on her lower lip. Determination took hold in her Noise, growing with every passing moment. It was directed at me.

She scooted closer, moving in. Seeing her intention, I met her halfway.

Her lips were warm and soft. Hesitant. Far from being our first kiss, but this was our first since I revealed the truth behind my Gift.

I enjoyed the sensation, the taste. Feeling. Her.

After a brief moment, we parted, her Noise alive with excitement. Anticipation. Joy. A bit of apprehension and uncertainty.

“See you tomorrow?”

I gave her the best smile I could. “Tomorrow.”

Her Noise was a swirl as she got out and headed for her building. She paused, turning to give me a wave before heading inside. I found myself optimistic for the future.

Back at my apartment, I opened the door to find Alexis hard at work. It was a sight that had me frozen at the door as I ran my eyes over her. It wasn’t the sight of her working, but something fundamentally different. Her hair was done up like Natalie when she was about to get serious about something. There was an intense concentration on the laptop as she chewed at the left side of her lower lip—something her sister also tended to do when in thought. Beyond the physical resemblance, her Noise wasn’t Alexis. It was, but wasn’t. In my brief initial glance, I had seen Natalie there.

“Welcome back,” she said, eyes not moving from her screen. With a burst of inspiration, she typed furiously at the keys. Interested in this odd development, I removed my shoes at the door and walked inside. She was completely immersed in her work as I saw frustration and annoyance flip to inspiration and elation before switching back.

Leaving her to work, I headed back to my room and changed. My uniform put up, I returned to the living room and took a seat next to her. There were still traces of Natalie in her Noise and I was at a loss as to why. Then, it vanished as she groaned and pulled away from the laptop. Rubbing her eyes, she took a deep breath.

“Break time,” she said, stretching. Before I could do anything, she tipped herself towards me. Head in my lap, she rotated so she was looking up at me. The playful smile I was used to seeing on Alexis was back. Her Noise was back to normal as well.

Curious.

“Feeling okay?” I asked, looking down at her.

“Better now. How was your day?”

I thought about what happened on the roof. The conversation that I had with Chloe. “It could have been better.”

“Oh?” she asked, interest filling her Noise.

“I told Chloe about my Gift.”

Her smile faded. Jealousy flared as well as sadness and disappointment. She fought against them, trying to suppress them as best she could. “Stop,” she said, embarrassment and shame filling her.

“I can’t. It doesn’t work that way.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“Alexis, I understand. You can’t help how you feel. I will never hold that against you.”

She sighed, closing her eyes. “I’m just jealous that you told her. I mean, I knew you would tell her eventually, but for a moment it was something special between us.” I found myself running my hand through her hair. She seemed to like it, so I continued. “How did she take it?”

“As well as anyone could when you find out your partner can peek into your mind and there is nothing you can do about it.”

Alexis opened her eyes. “Honestly, I forget about it most of the time until you are obvious about it. Give her time. She’ll come around.”

“Thanks.” I said nothing else, focusing on my thoughts as I continued my steady massage of her head.

“There is something else, isn’t there?”

“Yes.”

“Want to talk about it?”

I looked down at her to find her eyes searching for mine. “You okay with that?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. How about we give it a shot?” I examined her Noise and found her focused and ready. Seeing her resolve, I gave her a nod and began to explain the situation. Not all of it, but the general parts. About how I told Chloe that our relationship was going to be different. Truly different. That something happened today and I wasn’t reacting like a normal boyfriend should. Alexis silently listened to every word. Jealousy was there, but she was trying her best to push through it.

Finished, I said nothing more as I scanned her Noise.

“You really like her, don’t you?”

“I do.”

She smiled, but her Noise betrayed her sadness. She did her best to sound cheerful. “Welp, I can’t help you. I’m not exactly an expert on relationships after all.”

“I appreciate you listening.”

“It help?”

I thought for a moment. “Not at all.” She snorted, rolling her eyes as I smiled at her.

Pulling away from me, she sat up. “Well, if she dumps your ass, I’ll be more than happy to be your rebound.”

“I appreciate that.”

“No problem!” she said with a light laugh.

I glanced at her open laptop. “What are you working on?”

She gave a frustrated sigh. “Some stupid report for my Business Law course.”

“Sounds… fun.”

There was a playful glint in her eye when she looked over at me. “You know? It actually is. There is this guy—”

“Always is.”

“You wouldn’t understand. He is hot.”

“They usually are.”

She chuckled. “Jealous?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Mmm. Kinda sounds like you are,” she teased, leaning towards me. “What’s wrong? Girlfriend not putting out?” she asked, poking at my chest. I didn’t say anything, realizing that besides kissing, Chloe and I hadn’t done much in the physical realm. “Seriously?”

“It’s not that,” I said, looking down. This was a massive oversight on my part. Sex might not have been important to me, but I had no idea if it was something important to her. With her work, I always figured her physical needs were taken care of, but she might have a desire to be with me. She had mentioned she found me attractive. “I just realized I haven’t thought about having sex with her.” It was a step worse than that. I had basically told her I wasn’t sexually attracted to her. A truth, but not an insurmountable issue. No wonder there had always been that subtle current of uncertainty there.

The surprise in Alexis’ Noise was loud. “Poor girl.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to. You know how I am. I never considered—”

“That a girl dating you might want to have sex? Jake…”

“You don’t understand. I… I don’t know if I can.”

She gave me a bewildered look. “Have sex? Really not that hard…”

“It is when you can’t maintain an erection.”

Her eyes went from mine down to my crotch before moving back to me. “Oh…” She perked up. “Oh! If it doesn’t work, there is still something you can do. Something she will love.” I tilted my head, focusing on her. She was grinning, practically jumping in her seat. “Jake, let me tell you some things about going down on a gal. And this? This I can help you with…”