Foreign Affairs (A?,H?)

Ava began to stir, ready for another day of her job hosting the greatest show in history. Her cast was approaching their first challenge, they were finally taking things seriously. Life was good.

She opened her eyes, and everything was wrong. Her penthouse was gone, replaced with a blue bedroom with exotic fish along one wall. She was in another bed, with a petite blonde in pink pajamas asleep next to her. The host sat up in bed and snapped her fingers to summon her laptop, her phone, anything that could help her figure out how to fix this. Nothing happened.

So things grew from bad to worse in Ava’s mind. She pushed her auburn hair out of her eyes and tried to figure out what she did know, and what she could do with it.

She knew where she was, for a start. The Undersea Bedroom in the Trident Cottage was unmistakable. The show’s host had droned on and on to her about the friends that had helped her create all of her contestants’ living spaces. If she was in the Trident Cottage, then that meant that she was on the set of Domestic Affairs, and the short girl next to her was Felicia Owens. Better stay away from that one once she’s awake.

But if she was on Domestic Affairs for some reason, especially without her powers, then Genet should be here too. The ditz seemed to think that they were friends for some reason, it wouldn’t be hard for her to be talked into helping her home. Once she was back on set her powers could return, and she could get back on track. So the misplaced host got ready to leave, finding nothing but gym clothes and tracksuits waiting for her in the closet. Regardless, she could make do if it helped her get home.

***

“The door’s locked.”

“What do you mean, the door is locked? It’s your door! Unlock it!” Ava roared. She’d met Genet in her apartment before almost anyone had arrived in the kitchen below. The brunette had been confused, but let her in and helped her get a change of clothes before sitting down with her while they tried to figure out what had happened together.

Genet nervously frowned. “I wish I could, I really do. Jay said that a gambling buddy warned him that something funny is going on, and he was going to keep the door locked until he knew it was over.“

“So you really have no control over your set?”

“I have as much control over the set as you have over your Master. But your Master switch turned out great, maybe this accident can be for the better too.”

Oh come on, I’m taking hits from Genet of all people now? This day really can’t get any worse.

The lesser host softened. “I’m sorry, that was too far. I'll tell you what. I’ll be around in case you need any help today and we’ll take things easy. You can go home by tomorrow and if anything has happened back on your set you can just retcon it. Why don’t you go down to breakfast, mingle a little and see if there’s anyone to make passing the time easier?”

With nothing else to do, Ava followed Genet’s advice and went down with her to the dining hall. By this point the chef and the possessive blonde were sitting in the middle of the dining room together. Ava intentionally chose a side table she’d never seen anyone use on camera.

“Hi. Are you a friend of Genet’s?” Aubrey said a few minutes later. She’d switched tables to invalidate the host’s attempts at privacy.

“Yes.” Ava lied. “She asked me to spend a bit of time here and give my opinion on everything at the end of the day.”

“Oh! Let me know if you need any-”

There was a loud bang as the door was thrown against its hinges.

-help.”

***

Forty Minutes Earlier:

“I’m only going to let you try answering one more time. Who are you, how did you get here, and what did you do with Hazel?”

“As I said before, I’m Hazel. I-”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am not your Hazel, but I promise I’m not lying about my name. I’m here because I want to be nice. You’ve asked me to speak. Should I do that, or are you going to keep trying to throw pillows at me? Whatever magic runs your set doesn’t want you to hurt me. Can you take that as a sign to trust me?”

“Genet won’t let anyone get hit, but go ahead. Talk.” Helena grumbled. She was sitting up in bed as a buxom blonde wearing nothing but leaves stood next to the bed.

“Thank you. As I’ve been trying to say, my name is Hazel and I’m a nymph from another season of Harem Hotel. I don’t know how I was brought to this show, but I found myself in bed with a very professional woman who informed me that I was in the place of your assistant who helps you bathe and dress yourself due to a debilitating transformation, and that you were likely to need help this morning with her absence.

“As for your last question, my best guess is that your assistant is where I would normally be in my season. I had no control over what happened, but while I’m here I’m willing to help.” Hazel reached out and caressed Helena’s neck, intentionally letting her thumb creep up to the edges of her scalp to use the second of the redheads transformations.

“Uhm- do you think she’ll be safe? How much darker is your season than mine?” Hel asked. Between the challenges she’d watched at the beginning of the season and her own time off set, she knew how dangerous some of the other shows could be.

Hazel tried to consider what little she knew about the place. The Master’s sister and therapist are here, so it’s clearly focused on temptation and taboo on some level. Then she considered the transformations. They’re generally unwelcome or tools with a price; the walking TF, the petting TF, the unintentional touching. “They appear very similar.” Hopefully being brief will avoid alarming her too much.

“Good.” Helena breathed out a sigh of relief. “I’m still going to talk to Genet to find out how she fucked up so badly and get her to fix it, but that can wait until I’m dressed. I’ll accept some of your help, as long as you don’t need to go as far as my Hazel would”

“That’s fine, Sweetheart. Just tell me what you need.”

“Don’t call me sweetheart,” Hel’s voice came cutting again. “Or Kiddo, Babe, Ma’am, or Ms.Turner.”

“What would you like me to call you?”

“I’m not sure. But can you bring one of those chairs into the shower?”

“Sure.” And while she’d dismissed it in front of Helena she found herself wondering about the cause of whatever had her playing maid. The soon-to-be-doggirl barked more orders while she was still carrying the chair. She’s having a bad day. Hazel reminded herself, doing her best to be patient.

***

Back in the Cafeteria, a few minutes after the door opened:

Ava had tried to use the ruckus from the billionaire and the dryad showing up to switch tables. Her attempt to dodge Aubrey’s pestering had only worked partially, in that Aubrey had followed her and brought along her boyfriend. Now she had Richard’s savior complex inserting itself as the Master tried to reassure her and look for a way that he could help. She’s not talking, but he might be even less interesting.

***

Ava was still stuck in candyland. Aubrey’s brownnosing had been satisfying at first, since her own season’s contestants had not yet understood the planning and dedication she put in as one of the few hosts without an agenda beyond the good of the show. But that appreciation had grown sour as it became more clear that it had just been part of the people pleaser’s attempt to win her favor for the sake of the lie she’d told about reporting to Genet. Helena had occasionally given her a break by asking her about her philosophy as a Host, but the businesswoman had been satisfied by her by her argument that the point of the show was the show and just let Aubrey regale her with one story after another of things she’d done for her master or ways she’d earned the trust of the other members of her harem. Not that she’d called it a harem of course, Genet still hadn’t put much effort into breaking her self-delusions.

She’d managed to finally get Aubrey to stop sucking up to her by ducking into the library and then sneaking to the fine dining restaurant a few groves away that the blonde didn’t seem to know existed. In a few hours she’d be able to get home and reset everything. It’d be like this never even happened.

But first she needed to deal with the other blonde that had found her here.

“Aubrey told me Genet brought you here to judge us before the challenge.” Felicia stated, having sat down across from the wayward host without an invitation.

“I imagine she would have said that, yes.” Ava agreed dryly.

“So what sort of standards are you looking for? In terms of VP or how far we’ve gone, I’m clearly in the lead.”

“I really don’t care.”

Felicia frowned. “So what are you going by?”

“What she told you may have been an exaggeration.”

“An exaggeration?”

“Or a fabrication.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Language.” Ava smirked. “If I tell you, will you leave?”

“Deal.”

“Genet and I didn’t do this intentionally. Jay agreed to fix it, but as usual he’s trying to milk it for entertainment value first. I’d respect it if I wasn't the one having to stay here. I’ve had enough unauthorized swaps for one season.”

“So our Ava is off wherever you come from?”

“I suppose so. That’s something I’ll need to clean up tomorrow.” She glanced idly at Felicia, who still hadn’t left yet. “I’m surprised you didn’t ask that sooner, I’ve seen how protective you are of her.”

“Genet pulled me aside and told me she was on a field trip to learn about great power and responsibility.”

A Spider-Man quote? No, knowing Genet it would be Scorpion-Man or Web-Head or something. She let the matter sit, not wanting to know what inane variant they thought was normal here. “I notice you still haven’t left yet.”

“Will you tell Genet that I won?”

“What?”

“Before you go, will you tell her I won?”

“I just told you that it’s not real. I’m not part of any contest, there’s nothing to win. Are you saying you don’t believe me either?”

The blonde scoffed. “I don’t care if it’s real. Aubrey thinks it’s real, so if she thinks we're competing what's the difference?”

“So you’ve decided to spend the day winning a contest you’re aware isn’t real for no prize other than bragging rights you may not remember earning tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Felicia proudly admitted.

Pity you’re not one of mine. If we were in my season I could play you like a fiddle. “And what do I get out of this? You can’t exactly promise to get Genet to stop sending me fake movies.”

“I’m sure we can work something out,” Felicia said as she waved a finger like one would a wand and a set of spectral scales appeared between them on the table.

Ava was tempted to point out that the scales provided no guarantee that anything would stick past today. She suspected that they wouldn’t even offer the same balance of fairness outside the specific transformation they were used in. Even if anything stuck or the scales did anything, once she was home the difference in their role made this as useful as bargaining with a flea.

But you have to admire the showmanship.

“Let’s make a deal.”

***

“It’s not fair.” Aubrey whined.

“Can you explain why it matters again, dear?” The nymph asked. Richard had been worried when Aubrey had gone missing again around the same time as their other visitor, so Hazel had offered to join the search party. She’d realized after finding the young woman crying in the library that she didn’t have a way to tell the others that she’d found who everyone had been worried about. So she’d just “Speaking as another outsider here, I have trouble believing that the opinions of a stranger could hurt a group as yours seems to be.”

“Felicia, she asked me who Genet’s guest was and I told her the truth before thinking. I spent all morning following my worst instincts. I was clingy, syncophantic, and I spent hours talking about myself. Now Felicia’s getting her chance, and she’ll use it to take everything away again.”

Hazel chose not to point out that her question about Ava’s importance had been skimmed past. “It sounds like you two compete a lot?”.

Aubrey sniffled. “It feels like all we do is fight over him.”

“Do you fight like that with any of the others?”

“I used to fight with most of them, but Maeve and Richard got me to stop.”

“So he doesn’t like when you two are competitive?” She had a guess as to the answer, Kevin and Richard had far more in common than otherwise.

“No, he gets pretty frustrated with us. I know I shouldn’t, but she keeps rubbing it in my face and acting like she’s going to take him. It just makes me so angry.”

Hazel leaned towards her in her seat. “From what you’ve told me sweetheart, I think you don’t have as much to worry about as you might think. If your Richard cares about your arguments like you said, Felicia may be damaging her relationship with him when she encourages you to compete. Making him feel obligated to pick only one person could sour his opinion of whoever forces him to pick just one person. I know I haven’t known you long, but I think you could resist rising to her bait.”

“But he is supposed to pick one person.”

The nymph’s brow creased. “I’m sorry?” Is that how this season works?

“He’s told me before that he’ll always choose me. Once the show ends and he doesn’t need to protect everyone, it’ll be us.”

“Why does that mean he can't also choose someone else?”

“He’s not supposed to.”

Everyone I’ve met today seemed so friendly. For us we need to be a team, but would they all be so nice to each other if one person was meant to win? How much does Richard know?

Hazel saw the season’s master come through the door out of the corner of her eye. “Do you mind if I step away for a moment, dear?”

Aubrey nodded.

Hazel got out of her seat and went back to the entrance, raising her left hand to get the other master’s attention. His eyes dipped unsurprisingly down to her chest, but he recovered quickly.

“I found her. She’s doing better, but I wanted to ask something before we went back to her.”

“Shoot.” He seemed stressed.

“Is this meant to be a competitive season?”

“No? Genet’s whole thing is trying to make them want to share. Why do you- oh shit.”

She could see where the issue was. “She’s had trouble accepting that?”

“She’s not the only one, but yeah. I feel like she’s going to break every time I try to push the issue.”

“I see.” Hazel nodded, as she started leading him back to the nook she found Aubrey in. “I can see how close we can get. We seem to get along, and if she’s mad at me then at least she won’t need to see me later."

He nodded, and the two of them stepped into the silenced corner where Aubrey was still sitting on the floor.

“Hey Aubs.”

She looked up at him. “Hey. The new Hazel told me people were looking for me. Sorry.”

“That’s alright, I’m just glad we found you.” He sat down on the floor next to her, and let Hazel return to the armchair that she’d been in. “I appreciate that Hazel’s been willing to do so much with us today, I’m sure she wants to be back home soon.”

“I’m just hoping my girls aren’t too worried about me.” Hazel said.

“You’re a mom?” Aubrey asked.

“In the past, but I was actually referring to my students. There’s four of them, elves I’ve been trying to mentor in magic. Lily, our Host, recently gave us a transformation so they could come with me when we go to the dungeon for our Challenges.”

Challenges in a dungeon with elves? Richard started to think about how excited Ava would’ve been if she was still here.

Aubrey had a different focus. “I’m a teacher too. Though my students are humans learning English.”

“That’s very important.”

Aubrey nodded. “Do you want to tell us about your students?”

Hazel smiled. “Sure. There’s Summer, Autumn, Winter, and-”

“Spring?” Aubrey guessed.

“Jennifer, actually.” Hazel gently corrected. “You’re not the first person to think that, I thought when I first met them that they were sisters. I was on a quest to…”

***

It was dinner time, and everyone was together in two groups that Genet was proudly observing. Most people had gathered near the kitchen, where Aubrey had Richard, Maeve, and Hazel on each side of her orbit while Luna and Stella were out on the outer flank. A smaller group had formed in the corner with Helena and Felicia taking to Ava, who had resigned herself to the fact that she wouldn’t get her much needed solitude back until Genet’s door was back open.

“So where would you say Genet ranks, compared to the rest of the hosts?” Hel asked.

Ava looked back at her “friend,” who waved at her when they made eye contact. “She’s about average, honestly. Deeply unprofessional, but most of them are. There’s something to her picking big names to work with as Master for the attention, though the fact that she’s doing it for her agenda obviously takes away from that. At least she hasn’t fallen for him or any of her other Masters before. If I had a nickel for every time that’s happened…” She rolled her eyes as she stabbed into the chicken salad that she’d been given.

“If you were trying to get her to be better, at least by your standards, what would you change?”

“The biggest thing is forcing her to work with my choice of casts for a season or two. She needs to run a show that isn’t about trying to ‘fix the world’. If I was her producer instead of Jay I’d still let her lean lightside since that’s what she’s good at, but I’d **** her to work with a nobody and put a restriction on how many times she can show up outside of regular hosting duties.”

“Why that second rule?” Felicia asked curiously.

“Hosts aren’t meant to be characters the audience thinks about. If you’re monologuing about your tragic backstory you need to be reined in.”

Both contestants nodded, before Helena cautiously asked something else. “What do you think about Yuki?”

"She plays with her food too much. She's great at what she does, but she needs to understand the audience isn't here to see us." Ava answered.

“You respect her?”

“She’s an excellent track record.” the host complimented.

At the other table, several of them had finished eating and were just talking amongst themselves. Luna leaned across the table and asked their guest: “Would you mind coming back to my place and helping me with something?”

Most of the table seemed caught off guard, but Hazel just nodded. So the nymph took her dishes to where she’d been instructed to earlier and left with Luna just as Genet was approaching Ava.

“I was going to be surprised if nothing happened with you while I was here.” Hazel said, once they were away from everyone and walking outside.

“What do you mean?” Luna asked, still trying to be subtle.

“We’re heading to your bedroom, right? After a hundred and twenty-seven years, I can tell when someone’s paying attention to me.” She let the Latina open the door for her and admired the twinkling lights of the Pomegranate Cottage. “It’s a beautiful space.”

“Hang on, you’re a hundred and twenty-seven?”

“At least.”

“You look-” Luna wasn’t sure what age felt right.” “You look great for your age.”

“I told you I wasn’t human. We don’t change the same way. Is that a problem?”

“No, you could be blue or sprout a tail and I’d still be into it.”

“Good.” Now the nymph was leading the way to the bedroom as she let the minimalistic covering provided by her leaves and vines retreat. Luna followed her lead.

Luna Lopez, +1 BP (Topless) (Free Love?) (I didn’t plan for this, but good job?)

Luna Lopez, +1 BP (Bottomless) (Free Love?)

The two women made their way to the bed slowly, distracted as they felt for each other’s curves. They both took turns laughing gently and whispering into each other's ears in between kisses. Hazel’s fingers were more confident, lingering around her thighs, her hips, her ass in an exploration of her lower body. Luna on the other hand was more energetic, varying her touching and squeezing across every inch of the next notch on her bedpost.

Luna Lopez, +1 BP (Handsy) (Free Love?)

As they finally arrived next to the bed during their foreplay, the two women let themselves begin to fall onto the bed together-

-and Luna landed alone.

***

Hazel staggered as she caught herself, suddenly teleported to Genet’s office in a puff of smoke.

“In just a few minutes, I should finally be able to send both of you home to where you belong. Ava, I know you’ll know which door down the hall is yours. Hazel, I’ll escort you down to door sixty-nine to make sure you don’t get lost again. Do either of you have any questions?”

Hazel thought about asking for more time with Luna.

The host answered before she asked. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but you really should try to get home to your own family. The last thing we need is for Jay to decide he wants to keep you.”

“That’s understandable.” Hazel accepted, trying to keep in mind what her girls would do without her. “You’re very different from Lily.”

“I try. Before you go, I wanted to give out some gifts.”

Ava rolled her eyes.

Genet started by pulling out of her bag a phone. “There’s a chance that Lily confiscates this, but I wanted to make sure you have a friendly voice when you need it. I already put my number on it, just text me if you need. I know you’re the caring sort so I’m giving you full permission now to let any of your fellow contestants borrow it.” Next she pulled out a glass bottle filled with an orange liquid. “This is some ambrosia I’d like you to pass on to Lily. It tastes like generosity, and hopefully it’ll inspire her to be a bit nicer to you all.”

“How does something taste like-” Ava started to say.

“Thank you, for both of those.” Hazel understood.

“Great. Now, Ava, I hope you like this as much as I think you will.” Genet pulled out the case for a DVD.

The Hollywood obsessed host braced for what monstrosity it was going to be this time. Brawl Club? The Godmother? Sunrise Ave.?

It was blank. The outside of the case showed nothing but black plastic. Ava cracked it open, and it was empty.

“Genet, what is this?”

Her ‘friend’ practically preened as she put the bag back down. “My abilities let me see what someone would most want to be given. But they can’t tell me if there’s not a correct answer at all. A little mutual friend filled me in and from now on, I can promise you: no more gifts.”

Felicia really did it.

As she was deciding what to say, the three of them heard a click as the door unlocked for them to return to where they belonged.