First, an interview with Philomena Cunk

Still shaken from her first exposure (so to speak) in the surgery, Debbi went back to work the following week and thought about what would happen with her upcoming term of office. She was nursing a drink by the water cooler when Jeff walked up to her.

"Debbi," he said, "we've got an interview for you on TV."

"Really," she scoffed, "with whom? The BBC?"

"Exactly, we've got a slot in with Philomena Cunk."

"Jeff," Debbi countered, "Philomena Cunk is a fictional character played by Diane Morgan. She does fake interviews and documentaries for comedic effect!"

"Oh no, Debbi, she's very real, and she wants to interview the woman who's baring the truths about the government."

"This doesn't mean what I think it means, does it?"

"Oh yes it does, you've got a reputation to defend!"

Debbi sighed but felt no use in arguing.

Outside the grounds of the pub in Collingsworth, the inestimable orange-haired Philomena Cunk stood in front of her camera crew.

"Today I will be joining the Hon. Debbi Jenkins, the incoming MP from Collingsworth South who is exposing the harsh truths of the government ... by exposing herself in public like a streaker."

Philomena went inside the space where the chairs, and a nude Debbi tightly crossing her legs, were waiting. After a handshake and taking her seat, the hard-hitting Cunk started asking the incoming MP questions about her practices and policy.

"Why are you naked, Miss Jenkins?"

"Well," the flustered Debbi collected her thoughts, "I could very well ask you why you're not naked, Miss Cunk."

"I am naked," Philomena countered in deadpan, "all my life I've suffered from skin lesions on my body that resemble a blue pantsuit. The only thing I'm wearing right now are socks and boots."

"Oh, well I'm very sorry to hear that," Debbi gave her consolations.

"It's quite alright, I've saved a lot of money on wardrobe and it's what got me into the news. What about you, are you allergic to clothes?"

"Erm, no. The Laboratory Democrats are committed to exposing the truth about out government, and to that end I've decided to expose my own body as a form of protest and as a way to bring attention to them."

"Wouldn't that make it more likely for the government to get worse, to keep you naked?"

"Are you insinuating that the King is so dirty to do that?"

"I'm saying we've fired the Queen," Philomena then turned to the next subject, "what are the policies of the Laboratory Democrats?"

"Well, for starters we'd want the rates to be different," the nude Debbi squirmed in her chair as the camera pointed straight at her and Philomena kept her gaze fixed on her face.

"What are rates?Are they things at Tesco that let you save on shampoo?" Philomena asked such an absurdity with such sincerity.

"No, they're actually things that you pay on your house, and we would like to make them different."

"What do you say to the people who think they should stay the same?"

"We say they're wrong. We also think the triple lock should become a quadruple lock."

"Why not a quintuple lock?"

"Because that's too many locks."

"Don't you think it's dangerous for all of Britain to rely only on four locks? What would keep the burglars out of our houses?"

"I think burglary and theft are crimes of desperation. As such, to eliminate poverty we would make every person in England a member of the House of Lords."

"What is the House of Lords?" Cunk always had a way of asking the most trivial questions.

"Well, you see Parliament has two houses," Debbi started explaining, "there's the House of Commons, that you and I vote people into and which passes bills, and then there's the House of Lords, where people who have been appointed by the King sit and look at bills passed by the Commons."

"So they look at bills passed by the Commons?"

"Yes."

"So people can't look at bills passed by the Commons, only the Lords can do that? Has anyone thought about leaking the bills passed by the Commons like WikiLeaks?"

"No, that's not quite what I meant by 'looking' at the bills..."

"I think you're doing wonderful work," Philomena cut her off, "making sure everyone in England can look at bills passed by the Commons. Truly a new era for our democracy. Thank you for your service, and hopefully you can put some clothes on," as she rose and offered her hand. Debbi nervously took it and grinned, being sure not to rise and religiously keeping her legs crossed.

Back outside, Philomena closed out her segment in front of the cameras. "England has dark secrets and naked truths in her politics. Now she has a naked politician as a centre of attention, increasing male interest in a career that is an overwhelming 35 per cent female."

Back at work, Debbi was the talk of the office as gossip spread about the interview. The BBC segment came on in the afternoon, and to Debbi's horror her nipples were not blurred out.

"Thank God I crossed my legs," she muttered under her breath as Diane and Carol had Cheshire grins. Now all that was left to do was see how government formed and how powerful or powerless the Lab Dems were.