Fight fire with wit

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Town Whore Emilia – Now we both have a weather advantage! Time to show you how smart I really am!

• Dugtrio – Fairly Strong, Healthy
• Vileplume – Strong, Healthy
• Primeape – Fairly Strong, Fainted
• Onix – Strong, Fainted
• Golduck – Fairly Strong, Healthy
• Ninetales – Strong, Healthy

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VS

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Gym Leader Blaire – You already did that during the quiz show, remember? I already know how dumb you really are. It’s wonderful!

• Rapidash – Fairly Strong, Fainted
• Flareon – Strong, Fainted
• Magmar – Very Strong, Healthy

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Now that Blaire’s fighting another Fire-type, using Fire attacks would be a bad move, even with Sunny Day active. The same goes for you, though. You’ll need to use differently-typed moves if you want Ninetales to do any respectable damage to Magmar. You don’t know what other attacks Blaire might have up her sleeve, so you’re best off making the first move.

“Ninetales, use Quick Attack!”

“Ooh, Magmar, Feint Attack!”

You planned on using Ninetales’s high speed to get in and out without taking a hit, but Magmar’s stance turns out to be a ruse. As soon as Ninetales gets in range, Magmar throws a heavy punch. They both trade blows, and Ninetales backs off before the skirmish can continue.

After the tussle, Blaire appears confused. “Oh? Emilia, does that mean you don’t have any attacks that are super-effective against Fire-types? Even though you used your Ninetales specifically to counter my Fire-type?”

She’s just making fun of you again. Best to ignore it. “Ninetales, keep your distance and use Extrasensory!” If you can’t use her speed to reliably dodge attacks, then you’ll just stay out of range entirely. Without any Fire attacks, that Magmar is probably just a bruiser that you need to stay away from.

“It’s clear you’ve been training, but it still doesn’t seem like you came in here with a plan. That’s okay! Dumb girls are best off staying dumb anyway. Magmar, use Scary Face!”

Magmar takes the Psychic attack directly, but counters by projecting an ominous, dark face onto the battlefield, filling the whole room with a feeling of dread. Ninetales is obviously rattled by this. She’s not moving as well, but she still keeps some space between her and Magmar for now. Blaire must be trying to make an opportunity for Magmar to move in and land a physical blow. You’ll use a different strategy for keeping it at bay.

“Ninetales, Confuse Ray!”

Blaire’s smile curls upwards into an ecstatic face far scarier than what Magmar was capable of. “Hyper Beam.”

An enormous, yellow-orange beam of energy careens across the battlefield, blowing away Ninetales’s Confuse Ray in an instant. With its movement impaired, Ninetales can’t get out of the way. The blast hits her directly, knocking her out and bringing an abrupt end to the battle. Ugh… You thought for sure you were outsmarting Blaire by keeping her Magmar at a distance, but he had such a powerful ranged attack the entire time. She had so much breathing room, she could even afford to use Scary Face just to make sure it landed as cleanly as possible…

As you return Ninetales to her pokeball in disappointment, Blaire shuffles across the battlefield with the same excitement as the first time she saw you. She wraps you tightly in a hug and says, “That was a good battle, Emilia! You definitely had a strategy going on there. I didn’t think it was possible for someone of your background.”

“Yeah, well, it would’ve been better if my strategy had actually been good…” you mope.

“Awwww, don’t be like that! I think there’s something admirable about people struggling against their nature. Like a gallant knight fighting against a giant dragon. Buuuuuuut I also think we all have things we’re good at and things we’re bad at. Your giant dragon is how dumb you are.”

“Hey, that’s-”

“It’s fine, it’s fine! I told you, I love stupid girls! There’s something beautiful about existing in the world but not understanding it at all. Everything must be so magical to you! And that makes you magical! Magically dumb. Now, on to the kind of thing you’re good at: being a test subject! If you’ll step right this way…”