Fertile Fields

1. An island run by the agricultural collective, Fertile Fields, lies before you. The isle consists of 19 terrain tiles surrounded by ocean. Your goal is to take control of one of the farms of Fertile Fields and expand your territory until you control the entire island.
2. There are five resources produced by the farms on the island and one desert. Each farm produces a different resource. Each resource is represented by a card. Here's what each farm produces: Untitled Goose Farm: Gold, The Morning Wood: Latex, Dusa's Statue Gardens: Stone, Hitchcock Succulents: Melons, Theseus and the Minotaur Dairy: Milk

"Wait, doesn't this game look and sound kind of familiar?" Kacie asks. She puts down the instructions and turns to Anne, who is watching April lay out a hex grid of game pieces.

"Oh, yeah, it's basically Catan, isn't it?" She muses. "Though I have to say, these resources are much sexier." She holds up one of the hexagonal cards. You can see a small forest printed on the front of it, but if you look closely it almost looks like each of the trees has a huge erection.

"Maybe, but look, there's even a robber piece." Kacie points out a white meeple that is larger than the others.

"That's not a robber. It's the mad doctor." April corrects. "I don't know what you two are blathering about now, but the rules of the game aren't as important as the world it represents. The mad doctor created the resources on the island but was kicked out of the collective because his experiments became too expensive for the profit-driven farmers. He now roams the island and performs experiments on people from the secrecy of his underground bunker. He's not someone you want to come across."

Anne and Kacie share a look, though their expressions evoke very different moods.

"Don't forget that this 'game' is merely a conduit to get us to the island." April looks at them both, her voice somber. "That goose farm is made up of bird-maidens that lay golden eggs. The forest? Men turned into trees. I'm sure you can guess what 'mythical' beast roams the gardens. And those melons? They come from women transformed into plants by an alien virus. Everything on the island is one huge trap laid out by you know who."

You watch the girls as April explains the dangers of the island, and you start to see tiny clouds float up from their heads. You'd heard their thoughts before, but now you can see what they're picturing too. Anne's, in particular, are very lewd as she pictures herself, or her friend being transformed into each of the things described. Anne's hand slides over to Kacie's thigh and squeezes. Her taller friend grunts and scoots away. Kacie's own visions focus more on the horror of the situation—being tied up, kidnapped, ****, experimented on, all happening to her with a look of abject terror on her face.

"Hey!" April snaps her fingers in front of Kacie's face. "If you're not up for this, you don't need to go with us. Only the book's reader needs to be here, but if you're not going you need to tell me now. We're about to start."

Kacie shakes away the fear and gazes into the warm, welcoming brown eyes of the half-hucow. "I'm good." She says, trying to show a little backbone. "Can't let this slut go without me." She smirks at Anne. "She's the type that reads adventure books to lose."

Anne blushes and smiles at her friend. "Yeah, and she's the type that would sit in her room all day and miss out on adventure without me to push her along. We need each other!"

"Excellent! Then, Anne... if you would...?" April passes a set of dice to her fellow redhead.

Anne rolls the bone-white cubes between her fingers and then tosses them across the board. Seven pips point up when they come to a stop. The three women sit there for a moment, looking around the small living area of April's converted barn expectantly.

"Nothing happened..." Kacie says flatly.

"Should I roll again? Maybe it just takes a minute..."

"No, no, no! I was sure this was how I was supposed to get back to the island! I found this game in my mother's room. How could this not be how to get—"

SQUAWK! A large white bird with grey wings and beady eyes hops in through the open curtains. The three shocked women all turn their attention to it. The room is bathed in awkward silence. You start to hear more bird sounds in the distance, loud, obnoxious screeches and squawks, along with what sounds like the crashing of waves.

"Get out of here, you dumb bird!" Kacie shouts, breaking the silence. She throws a pillow at the gull, which screeches as it flies off back through the open doorway.

April pops up from her seat. Her mammoth breasts jiggle to and fro as she runs towards the bright sun pouring through the curtains. The girls follow her, which means you follow as well. The muscular woman stands barefoot in the sand right outside the door. A pristine beach stretches out in front of you. You look back and see that the converted barn is now a ramshackle wooden hut. April deeply inhales the sea air, unbuckles the straps of her overalls, and lets her breasts bounce free.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She bellows, the call reverberating in your ears.

"Ooh! That was even sexier than I thought it would be!" Anne squeals as April hunches down. The cow-woman's jaw goes slack and her heavy tongue lolls out from inside her mouth. A dopey, dull-eyed, grin settles onto the woman's face.

Kacie gawks at the drooling hucow. "Wonderful! She's feeling the call of the wild, and we're stuck here sitting on our asses without a guide!" The tomboy sits down on a large sun-bleached log in a huff.

Anne reaches up and scratches behind one of April's ears. "Aww, but look at how happy she is! Kacie, do you think we could be cows for just a little while?"

"What? Don't be absurd." Kacie rebuffs the always adventurous Anne. She sighs, reaches down, and idly scratches at her ankle as she mocks the redhead in her thoughts. Kacie, can we be cows? Kacie, look at how big and bouncy my tits are. Kacie, let's run around naked and be happy that we're girls! Kacie—"Why the fuck am I so itchy!?" She jumps up from the log and rakes her nails across her body.

"Ah! It itches!" Anne cries out, tearing at her clothing.

Both girls are now up, clawing at their arms and legs. It's difficult to figure out what's going on until you see some of Anne's freckled cleavage peeking out from a hole in her top. Once those few inches of fair flesh are revealed, the rest follows. Kacie's distressed jeans become absolutely distraught, unraveling like they are being eaten by moths, and leaving long stretches of porcelain leg completely exposed. Anne's top completely splits down the middle. Your lascivious gaze focuses in on the purple, halter-neck bikini and how it frames the girl's stunning breasts. It doesn't immediately occur to you that the likelihood of her wearing such a thing without knowing she would end up at the beach is very low, but it becomes more apparent when the girls' outfits start to look like they were designed for such an outing. As Kacie's jeans rot away, she's left wearing a pair of cut-off shorts—one might even call them daisy dukes. Anne's skirt is left disheveled enough that she can only wear it as a sarong, which gives you a nice glimpse at her matching bikini bottoms. Kacie's own top follows the same disintegration as the rest of their clothing, and sure enough, she has her own sporty bikini top underneath, patterned in black and white stripes.

Kacie's flat expressionless face says it all. The Trickster is having a little fun, and making sure that you have some additional eye candy on this part of the adventure. What more could you ask for than a pair of fair-skinned beauties and a half-naked cow-woman?

It is a short while later that the newly dressed bikini babes stand at the edge of the beach, contemplating the two paths before them. April has yet to recover from her thunderous moo and is being led by a rope around her neck by her fellow redhead. Nobody thought it might be prudent to cover up her jiggling jugs. One path has a sign that points into the jungle. It reads THE MORNING WOOD. The other path is only evident by the strange two-toed footprints leading further down the beach.