Fen Fang, a debuting Hong Kong street fighter

Here you are, mid ring, ready for a No Mercy match, with a woman you know next to nothing about. Still, she's the rookie here, what's the worst that could happen?

Agonising pain & crippling injury.

Oh well, too late now. Her music starts, 'Go Hard' by the 24 Herbs. The audience's polite cheers turn into a stunned silence when she walks through the curtain. She has no showmanship or flare. At a distance you make out the essentials: tall, asian complexion, wet-look black bun. The attire is nonchalant: orange tank top, denim shorts & timberland boots. But as the saying goes 'even an elephant looks small at a distance.' Her approach helps you understand the crowd's shock.

"Ladies & gentleman, tonight we have a new debut for you. A backroom brawler from the streets of Hong Kong, a mean motherfucker who'll break your nose & spit in your face. She's the Mount Everest who'll send you to Mount Purgatory, she is... FEN FANG!"

Your foe stands almost a head taller than you. & the muscles, good lord the muscles. Hers is the biggest, hardest figure you've ever seen in your life. Veins pop on her biceps & forearms, thighs solid enough to crack watermelons, even her calves are defined to perfection. BFP of 2% at most.

Ho Lee Shit, she's not even ripped, she's stacked! Hulked!

This hulk has all the charm & charisma of Bruce Banner. There's no interest in the crowd or the music. Just walking straight to the ring, straight to you. Metal ring steps clang under her tread. Once in ring, Fen folds her enormous arms, displaying the outhouse breadth of her shoulders. She scans the ringside area, as if she's looking out for something, probably **** of habit from her street fighting past. You wonder if she'll restrict herself to the rules of the ring.

Probably not, this is No Mercy, isn't it?

The official orders the 2 of you to centre ring. You, deferential to her authority, comply. Fen, ignorant to the rules of an organised fight, is slower.

"Listen up. This match is No Mercy rules, but there are still rules. No rope breaks, no falls, no rounds. The match continues until I decide 1 of you cannot continue. Obey my instructions & listen for safewords. Any serious injury & we're stopping. Understood?"

You & your foe turn the slightest bit towards ref & nod, never breaking eye contact. Looking up at this asiatic assassin, you feel like the victim in a teen bullying movie.