Fear of desire.

Luke’s office was… emptier than I expected it to be. The crimson carpet on the floor and black wood paneling fit the hotel’s aesthetics, but the only furniture he had was a tall, dark wood, empty bookshelf and an unnecessarily large desk of the same material. Both had complex and beautiful carvings, much like the door. On his desk was a computer along with three folders full of documents.

Luke was sitting behind his desk, on a chair of black leather, but he stood up the moment I entered.

“Oliver, good morning! What can I do for you? Why did you need to meet me? I hope you didn’t leave your girls alone for something so banal as thanking me for my little gift.”

Ugh. He got me. I wouldn’t call it banal, though. It was only proper. Still…

“I thought I’d take the chance to see you since you’re here. I wanted to ask when I’d have to come work again. And yes, I wanted to thank you, too. We had a great time last night, and breakfast was amazing. You really didn’t have to do this for us, and the limo was seriously overkill, too, but… It made my friends happy, so again, thank you.”

“Nonsense, Oliver!” Luke smiled and clapped his hands once. “I’ve told you before. Wealth is not to be hoarded, but to be spent on things I want. And one of the things I want the most is for you to have a good time, to repay you for accepting working with me.” He spread his arms and looked around the room. “You see this? It’s not empty out of any sense of austerity, but because I’ve finally decided to make this hotel my primary working space and I started moving things just yesterday. I’m already in very private, very secretive talks with trusted business partners and have given them a small sample of the latest version of our elixir. They are already willing to pay enough that, to put it into perspective, I’ll be making back your house’s worth three times over in about four months, and that’s with a small pool of three buyers. Oliver, not only is this potion of ours the thing I wanted the most for the last five years, but it’s also looking to be my most lucrative business, and YOU are the key to it. Treating you and your girls to a night at my hotel is the most miniscule of gestures.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. As always, talks of money made me uncomfortable because I had no sense of scale. The comparison to the house did make things a bit clearer, but even so... “Is this really something people would pay so much money for?”

“When one’s needs are fully satisfied, we turn to our wants instead. Once we have our bellies full, a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and people to be with, we begin to desire that which is, essentially, unnecessary. Acceptance, success, luxuries, pleasures… You don’t really need six women with you, do you? Yet you want them anyway, to the point you’re willing to fight for them. They have become a priority for you.”

Couldn’t argue with that. I was lucky enough to be in a situation where I could make other people my priority instead of having to focus only on my own wellbeing.

“Still, that’s just textbook psychology at the end of the day,” Luke said with a shrug. “Each person has their own reasons for doing what they do, but many share the desire to spend their wealth on exotic experiences. From simple and damaging **** **** to expensive cruise tours. Dangle a harmless substance capable of tripling one of the biggest pleasures humankind is a **** to, and you’re bound to find buyers who will pay anything. I was one such person, after all. Of course, the high price also comes from the rarity of the key ingredient and the complexity of the manufacturing process. And… a bit of artificial scarcity, too.”

Most of that went over my head. I mean, I got it, but staying in the kind of mindset that lets you think that way was more exhausting than a night with six women.

I sighed, shook my head and smiled at Luke. “So you got another thing you wanted and ended up making it yet one more source of income to your practically infinite funds. What could you possibly want next?”

“...”

Luke’s smile fell. He turned serious all of a sudden, turning away from me and walking to his desk. He ran his hand over the smooth surface, tracing a long knot on the wood.

“Luke?”

“There is… one more thing I want. Something that has avoided me for years, yet at the same time something I have avoided pursuing.”

I blinked. Something the physical manifestation of greed wanted yet didn’t try to get? “Why?” I asked.

Luke smiled wryly at me. “Because I’m afraid to be a parent. Silly, don’t you think?”

Oh. “Um… Were you listening in on us joking about… pregnancy?” I couldn’t help but ask. It seemed too coincidental. Also, all those were only half-jokes.

Luke laughed, if softly. “Of course not. What? Are your girls pushing for it already?”

“Uh… K-Kind of? But anyway, why would you be afraid? You have everything to take care of a child. Or ten.”

“Right?” Luke agreed with a nod. “Thing is, I… didn't have the best examples of parenthood growing up. We were poor, too, which might have made things worse. I fear the kind of parent I would be, either too much like mine or, in the worst ways, the complete opposite. At the same time I feel I’d be the type to go insane with worry over them. Where are they? What are they doing? Are they safe? It all just… scares me.” Luke chuckled humorlessly. “Regardless, it’s not for a lack of trying that I don’t have children. My own girls want them and it has led to more than a few arguments. No, it seems I’m simply… unable to have any. Professional examination already revealed I’m… infertile.” He sighed. “I have let that be my excuse not to pursue other options and treatments when normally nothing would stop me from getting what I want.”

…

If Luke really wanted to be a father, he already would be, infertility or not. That’s the kind of man he is. Modern medicine already has treatments for it, and money, the main issue that stops most people from attempting alternative methods, is not a problem to him. No, he had admitted that wasn’t the issue.

Wanting it yet fearing it. Having to raise a child, worrying over their safety. My own mother was pretty strict because she worried like that, but still gave us our space because she didn’t want to suffocate us. I could also understand it too, to an extent. It was like the fear I had of the responsibility of having a pet, only hundreds of times stronger.

…

There’s… an idea.

“Luke?”

“Yes?”

“Do you have a pet?”

“Eh? Um… No, I do not. With how much I travel, having a pet is…”

“Get a pet,” I told him.

“But I just said…”

“I still think you should get a pet,” I repeated.

Luke frowned in thought. He’s a smart guy, so it didn’t take him too long to understand where I was going with that. He swallowed hard, biting his lip. “I’ll… think about it.”

I nodded. I wanted to push further, maybe jokingly threaten him to tell, say, Ms. Jennifer, to get a pet for him. But even if Luke wanted me to treat him as a close friend, it was hard to treat a person older than me so casually. Diana is a special case because 1) she isn’t THAT much older than me and 2) she’s had my penis in her mouth already. That second one worked a bit too well in bridging the gap between us.

We settled on some dates to continue our work on the potions, I thanked him for everything again and went back to the girls. After we were truly done with breakfast, Diana drove us all to our houses, with mine being the last one.

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