Faltering; on the cusp.

"Why can't I sleep..."

I wonder this over and over, tossing and turning in bed. After our party rejoined, each learning of Anaz's capture by one of my Others, we had returned to that Inn from nights prior. Tomoko was staying in Bounty one more night beyond this one; plenty of time for a proper farewell to Her. Now, I lay, staring at the ceiling; unsure of my unrest. Finding Her... it felt... underwhelming; yet somehow overwhelming. The puzzle pieces of my mind hadn't snapped together as I had hoped upon seeing her, instead, her own mind was under **** by my presence. There was no real... spark. No kindling of love between us. We had shared a night of passion, but it seemed to be more pent up lust than any sort of romance...

Had to been too long? Are my memories too scattered to truly remember why I loved her? Or, after she wished her mind away... is she someone else now. Is she Her... Am I me...

This crisis of self was fostered further by Zana's current woes. Seeing her cry at Anaz being taken from her; it was as if my mind had been burned all over again. Seeing each of my selves be murdered in front of me... what will they think in their new, twisted forms; should they learn I now work with their killer...

"Gods damn it!"

I slam a fist into the bed, frustration building faster and faster; suffocating me.

I need air...

I open the nearby window, pulling myself through, and taking flight to the roof above. Once perched on the rooftop, I begin to feel the gentle glow of the pale moonlight grace my skin. Its cold embrace soothed the fire wracking my mind, letting me breath easy. Clearing my head...

Damian; wether he was me, or still is me... he loved Her. She loved Him. Of this, I am certain.

My Others... they are me as well. Even in their new bodies...

"Abandon whatever 'quest' you've found for yourself, and consume your Others first and foremost."

The words of Mel ring through my ears again. What would consuming them even do... would it put is back together? Would it destroy us?

I hear the creaking of a door of some sort.

"Lovely, isn't it? The moonlight, I mean."

Cilla, somehow, had managed to find me up here; rising to the roof via an entrance from inside the building. Less impressive than flight, but far more practical for certain.

"Its nice." I reply. "It's certainly helping me think."

The Red Hood takes a seat by me, leaning against me. "Think of what? I know the last few days have been much..."

I hold my tongue, the idea of speaking about my thoughts giving me pause... should I make my problems that of my group? Parts of me say no; they're my issues, my weaknesses, my burdens. I should deal with them myself. Other parts of me say yes; the world is best faced with company, after all.

"Hey fuzzy! You buggin our big guy up here?"

Ashes seemed to have followed Cilla, coming up through the same trapdoor; followed herself by Zana, and Gabbie.

"Oh, d-did I get him worried about m-me?" Asks the mousey mage.

"Oh, Miss Zana, don't feel bad. Its only natural to worry for ones friend." Replies the kind Priestess.

I was half expecting Scott to pop up that door now, as the whole gang seemed to be running single-file up to the roof.

Seemingly reading my mind, Cilla asks. "Where's Scott? Already sleeping?"

Ashes laughs, saying. "Him? He's off 'sating his curse' with that Priestess that was looking after Zana. He says he was celibate, but he's quite the horndog..."

Our party of five then begins gathering around, with Ashes sitting by my other side, and Zana joining her, as Gabbie takes her seat by Cilla.

"So... what is bothering you, Monster?" Asks Ashes. "I know cyclops over here was asking, but you seemed a bit locked up about it."

I look between the four of them, each seemingly eager to help; all be it, Cilla was also side-eyeing Ashes for her cyclops comment.

And after a chuckle, I begin to speak; my mind now clear enough to be spoken.