False dichotomy.

As Bill considered his next steps, an idea struck him.

"You said I can change your personality and make tweaks on the fly, right? Can I ask you to be a little less freaked out about this? Like still me, but enjoying it?"

She looked up at him and smiled. "Now you're catching on. Remember, everything I do is a flawless simulation, but it's still a simulation. If you want me to be a version of you that's glad to be in this body, that's all you had to say." She ran her hands along her torso through the baggy t-shirt. "Now how about we take this body for a test drive?"

Bill sighed with relief. He hadn't realized how tense he was until now. "Oh, thank God. I really didn't like you freaking out. I know it wasn't real, but it felt so real and I was starting to feel guilty."

She turned so that they were facing one another on the bed. "So how about I make it up to you?"

To his own surprise, he shook his head. "Not just yet. I still have some questions."

She once again glanced down to his boner, then made eye contact again. "Fair enough. Even though I'm not upset about being a simulation in a woman's body anymore, I'm still you and I still don't relish the thought of getting screwed with my own dick."

"God, this is weird," he replied. "So you're still me? What happened to Amber? Is she, like, asleep or something?"

She laughed. "You're still struggling with this, huh? I get it. Amber isn't 'gone' anymore than I'm 'here'. I can go back to being Amber any time, but for now I'm you."

"You're not acting like me."

She scoffed. "Oh? Is this not how you'd act if you were in the body of a woman but liked it? Remember, you told me to enjoy this. I'm still you - grumpy when I don't get enough sleep, I have a secret fondness for romance movies, and I feel belittled at work." Her face clouded with sadness. "I still miss Maura when I wake up alone every morning. Man, what would she think of this?"

Bill cleared his throat. "Um, let's not talk about Maura. I don't feel comfortable talking about her with you."

She shook her head sorrowfully. "I know, because I don't either. It's strange having all these memories of being her husband, but I'm a lady. It feels disrespectful to bring her into this conversation, so let's not."

She put her hand on his thigh and rubbed it softly. "Look, I know what you're going through. I feel it just as much as you. So let's come up with a distraction, huh? I don't love the idea of having sex with you - me - but you could make me love it, right? Do you want that?"

He shook his head. "It's too weird. I just don't know." His eyes were drawn to her ample chest, nipples visible through his t-shirt. She followed his gaze and smiled.

"You wanna know what it's like, don't you?"

Bill coughed. "I mean, yeah. Who wouldn't?"

Bill/Amber pulled her shirt over her head and Bill made an intense effort to maintain eye contact. She seemed amused by this.

"I'm you, remember? Do you think you'd have a problem with me staring at your tits if you were a girl?"

He glanced down at them, then allowed himself a longer look. She took his hand and placed it on her right breast. He shuddered a little as he touched her wonderfully firm, soft flesh.

"You just called them tits," Bill said with curiosity. "I never use that word. If you're me, why did you use it?"

She took a deep breath, pressing herself into his hand. "I'm you, but I'm a girl, and I like being a girl. That means I'm a little more comfortable with girlish things. I know you try not to use disrespectful language to refer to a woman's body but I don't have that hangup. I've got 'em so I can call them what I want."

He tentatively pressed his other hand against her chest and she smiled encouragingly. "So seriously, what's it like? Does this feel good?"

She paused, searching for words. "Yes and no. I mean, your hands are a little rough. That doesn't feel great. But it feels nice having the weight lifted." She put her hands over his and guided him to gently lift them. "See, that feels good. They're heavier than you'd think! And you can probably feel the nipples hardening. I, um, I'm getting a little aroused."

He was beyond aroused as this point, but still curious. "So it feels good when I take their weight into my hands? What about this?" He began to rub her left nipple and she made a face.

"That feels ok, I guess. Maybe a little softer?" He did as she asked and she smiled. "There you go. Mmm, almost like you're tickling me. Man, I could have used this training back in college. Remember Cindy Levine? Shit, the way I pawed at her boobs must have felt like she was getting mauled by a bear."

Bill laughed. He was starting to get used to this in spite of himself. It didn't hurt that he had a raging hardon. "Remember when we fingerbanged her? She never seemed interested after that first time."

Bill/Amber laughed with him. "That was so awkward. It was like I was trying to get quarters out of a pay phone return slot." Her face was starting to redden. "I gotta be honest, this is starting to get to me. Getting horny as a girl is so different! It sneaks up on you. We're just sitting here talking and all of the sudden I've got this little tickle in the pit of my stomach and it's getting stronger and stronger. Here, you can go a little harder now." She put her hands over his and together they squeezed her breasts together, lifting them up and compressing them against her chest.

"Yeah, that feels nice," she said with a sigh. "This isn't how I thought it would be at all."

"You can't think or feel, though, right? I keep having to remind myself."

She ran her hands along his forearms and thrust her chest out. "I can't but I can behave exactly as though I can. God, why do we always overthink these things? Just enjoy this and maybe you'll learn a thing or two." She shifted slightly, causing her breasts to quake in his hands. "And now you've got my engine revving. I think I'm ready to get the Cindy Levine experience."