Fairburne pt 9: Not-so-joyous news leads to a hasty change of plans at the police station

A brief video montage shows that for the intervening 6 months. Detective Dan Murphy's work has been exceptional, always volunteering for tough assignments and picking up even more extra hours than rookie cops half his age, shaking hands with the Captain and even the commissioner. The real motivation behind all this work is shown when his computer screen is shown with a file keeping track of the activities of novice heroines active in the precinct, always taking every opportunity to charge out and try to come to their assistance in any way possible: he's shown assisting a few of them with arrests. A few of the girls look grateful and impressed, but most shown are giving him mildly creeped out looks, raising the question of what he might be saying to them. One is shown slapping him across the face, giving a further hint.

The montage continues showing him enthusiastically in bed with what is presumably his wife, a rather average-looking woman with an outdated big hairdo. "Oh Dan!" she coos as they finish. "You've become so passionate again lately. It's like we're on honeymoon again. Really, honey, it's almost too much for me." the woman laughs softly. "I guess those 'zumba' classes are doing me more good than I thought, huh?" His dreamy eyes staring up at the ceiling suggest he' thinking of something else.

The next scene is back at Detective Murphy's office in the police station where he's furtively browsing news website images of the latest heroines to arrive in Acropolis and join the League; as coveted as slots are, there's always steady stream of new arrivals throughout the year, since so many superheroines are always disappearing on lengthy sabbaticals for vague reasons early on in their careers.

The tall, burly Officer Waters pushes his way into the room, causing Dan to jump in his seat and hurriedly close all those windows. Waters is smirking, but has a suspicious look on his face. "Hey there, Detective. Hope I'm not interrupting. So, uh... my idol, the city's greatest superheroine, just came in to visit."

"Beast Beauty?" Dan nods, smirking conspiratorially. "Nice, nice. I heard she, heh, values your support. You, uh, going out on an unscheduled patrol with her? I'll fill out your timesheet for you, kid. No problem."

Waters folds his rippling arms and leans over the desk. "Not yet. That's the funny thing, sir. Beastie said she had something for YOU, on account of what day it is."

Dan just blinks. "She... did?"

Shifting his mouth from side to side, Waters scrutinizes the pudgy middle-aged man sitting behind the desk. "Yeah. Now listen... I know Beastie is a wild one, and I can't exactly keep her on a leash. Not figuratively, that is, she's a big fan of the literal kind. But uh, after all, she's a top-ranked heroine, and I'm just a fan, one of thousands. And it isn't like I have any illusions about..." he trails off. "Just... whoever else out there is one thing, but when it comes to guys from inside the department... Captain Johnson is enough competition for me already, okay? Do me a solid, leave the office door open, and I'll keep an eye out to make sure your car doesn't get in any mysterious accidents out in the parking lot, alright?"

Still looking confused, Dan nods. "Yeah, yeah, sure thing! C'mon, you really don't need to worry too much. I mean, jeez, do you remember how fast we sold out of those charity calendars for the ladies when you posed as Mr. September?"

Waters stares hard at him, then turns around. "Yeah, Beastie, D.T. Murphy is in, he says he has a minute to spare. Just don't take up too much of his time, babe. He's a busy man."

Acropolis City's most divisive 'superheroine' bounds in immediately, dressed casually and modestly for a change, wearing jeans and a tee-shirt with a square-jawed, leering, ponytailed 'Disney' character printed on the front. "Hi there! Honor to meet you, sir. Mr. Murphy, right?" she is carrying a small paper box under her arm.

"T-that's right! Um, wow." he hesitantly puts out his hand, which Beauty takes and shakes vigorously. "I've seen you coming around the station for the last few years now, but I didn't ever get a chance to talk to you, I guess. Wow, um, big fan. It's an honor."

"Awesome, thanks, 'Danny Boy'. Cute nickname!" she says, purring. "I hear you've been doing a great job around here, lately! So, since I was coming by to give the Captain updates on how we're doing with League internal politics, I figured I'd drop by and give you props for a job well done! Not that a warhorse like you needs it from a silly bitch like me, but I figured I'd whip something up all the same!" She winks and sticks her tongue out a little, pushing the paper box forward and flipping it open. "Oh, 'internal politics'! Pffthehehee. I didn't even do that one on purpose." she mumbles through a grin. "Anyway..."

"Ta-dah!" She pushes it in Dan's direction. "Candied walnuts! Happy National Walnut Day, Mr. Murphy!" He looks at them in surprise, then starts to laugh. "Ha! Ahahaha... is that real?" He leans back to his computer terminal clicks around and types a line, and then laughs harder. "Holy shit, it is! Pfhah. Wow. Those legislators have got too damn much time on their hands. I'll take those off your hands gladly!" He throws a few of the sweet bite-sized treats in his mouth. "Damn, these are good!," he says as he chews and crunches. "You're a treasure to the city, Miss Beauty! You giving these out to every detective in the department?"

Beast Beauty laughs and smiles mischievously. "No, of course not. Just you, silly. To congratulate you for doing your part to maintain the social order..." Murphy is nodding along, tossing another handful in his mouth. Beauty continues: "...and, more importantly, helping to propagate the species!"

Crunch. The police detective bites down but doesn't swallow. His eyes snap open and he looks up at Beauty, confused. The casually-dressed heroine just sidles over to the desk and sits on it casually, cocking her head and smiling at him. "At first I thought of dropping by on 'National Sea Monkey' day, 'cause of what they kinda look like. But there isn't really anything tasty that you can make using brine shrimp. So, I went with walnuts! I think I'll make a little tradition out of this, for anyone else in the department who helps one of our superheroines in the fight against the declining birth rate. So you better get started if you want another delivered next year, you old ram, hee hee!"

"Whfff... What are you talking about?" Dan asks in a muffled voice, his forehead already perspiring.

Beast Beauty blinks, and then kicks her heels against the table and giggles. "Ohh! I guess this will be a surprise, then. You know Fairburne, the leader of last year's new hero team, the Teen Turbines? 5 foot 9, red hair about neck length, bad attitude, wears a green and purple suit, super strength? She's been on maternity leave for a couple of months now- HEY! YUCK!"

Beast Beauty cringes away and instantly transforms into a small housecat, scampering off the table and leaping away when the shocked detective spits a mouthful of walnuts all over it, **** and gasping. It seems like he really can't breathe. "Ohshit, ohshit!" Beauty says, snapping back to her human form. "Okay, okay, I know what to do...!" she then turns into a gorilla and goes around behind him to perform the Heimlich maneuver. Murphy clears the obstruction in his throat and slumps down, gasping for breath, as Beauty returns to her human shape. Since these were casual clothes and not her special super-suit, that means she is now standing there naked. She casually picks up her clothes covered in spit and walnut bits. "Oh well. I needed to do laundry tonight anyway." she says casually. "Glad you're okay, man! I was worried for a second there."

"She's... pregnant?!" He gasps.

"Oh yes! Pretty far along too, the last time I saw her! Just goes to show what happens when you try and put an inexperienced girl in charge of a team instead of her male teammates. Well, um, Maiden America doesn't count. I guess." She casually starts picking up her clothes. "I mean, they said that they're going to re-form her team in a year or so, so those stubborn donkeys haven't learned their lesson yet. But I'm sure they will when it keeps on happening." she looks down at her bare body - her nipples, public hair, and everything else is on display. "Uh oh, there's a public nudity ordnance, isn't there? I better clean this up in the bathroom. Enjoy the rest of your walnut day treats, Mr. Big Nuts! Hee hee~"

"Wait, wait!" Dan grabs her arm as she starts to leave. "This is... I mean... why did you come to me? Does she...?"

"Oh, well," Beauty says with a shrug, "I overheard her telling Maiden A that a cop in the police station had '****' her, but that she didn't learn his last name." Dan suddenly remembered his habit of tucking his badge into his shirt pocket when leaving instead of pinning it there, out of laziness. Because of that simple gesture, she had no more to go on than his face and his nickname.

Beauty continues. "When I asked how that managed to happen when she's, like, WAY stronger than even the cops that actually have powers, she didn't say anything, though she did have a hand gesture for me. Since I got mad privileges, being in the top ranks, I decided to go check the video..."

"There's a video?!" he gasps dryly.

Beast Beauty nods, her irrepressible smile still in place. "Oh, yeah! Secret to the lower ranks and the general public so, don't tell anyone I said that. Only accessible by a lawyer who knows the right request forms to fill, OR B-rank and higher supers, and even most of them don't know about it, since it isn't advertised anywhere. Don't ask how a video got made with the whole camera circuit shorted out, we heroes have our ways! One of our guys has a special camera that only works once for a certain place and time, but not having to actually BE there is a pretty big help! I think it's supposed to be for the government or something? All I use it for is keeping an eye on which heroines are going to need a few favors from a friendly beast~" she smiles cutely. "Unfortunately, I think most of the ones who check these video tapes out are doing so for the wrong reasons, not to be helpful like I am. Don't they know how unhealthy watching pornography is? Normally I try to be good and fast-forward through the sex parts, but, just between you and me, I was tempted to slow down on this one. Your wife is a lucky bitch, isn't she?" she winks.

"Holy shit... this isn't fuckin' happening. " Dan puts his hands on his scalp. "The pre-nup I signed... my pension... the house... I could lose everything. Nevermind the marriage, my daughter will never speak to me again."

"Huh?" Beauty says, peering quizzically at him. "How do you know that? I mean, Fairburne shot down my suggestion for a gender reveal party faster than Gunslinger Betty at a skeet shoot, it could be a-" she blinks. "Oh, OH, now I get it. Well, I'm sure you'll manage to lay down the law with the women in your family, Mr. Murphy! Laters!"

"Hold on, hold on... so Fairburne, she... she doesn't have that video? You didn't tell her who I was?"

"Of course not! You know I love this department." Beauty blows him a kiss. "Wouldn't want to make things complicated for you! Deal with it at your own pace, you know? Go with the flow, do what feels natural, just like you did to get her good and knocked up like this. Though I guess she might manage to climb to B-rank eventually, once she's done with her current womb-related duties. Oh well, no point worrying about it now!"

"Listen, you gotta do this for me... no, wait. For the department! And Captain John! You don't want us to have a scandal, right? Tell me what lawyer from the League I need to talk to. There's a little trick the Captain taught me for when internal affairs is getting nosy about recordings, legal loophole. All you need to do is tell her you have reason to believe I'm in danger."

"Well..." Beauty says hesitantly. "I'm supposed to be real careful about anything that might bend the rules, these days... Aw, sure! I'll talk to the lawyers and get it for you. I never could say no to a man in uniform."

Speaking of which, the door is suddenly slammed open with such **** that it almost breaks the hinge. The enormous frame of Officer Waters swaggers in, clearly seeing Beast Beauty standing there naked, holding her clothes. He looks less than pleased. "DETECTIVE!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Beast Beauty shows no concern about the powerfully-built young officer looming over Dan. "Oh! Oh no~ I've been caught in the buff! Am I in trouble, officer?" she says in a flirty voice, clasping her hands and popping one of her feet.