Exploring the Unknown

College.

The place one climbs to the pinnacle of education. It was a place where one began to learn to stand on your own and discover who you wanted to be. A noble place where one pushes themselves to be the best they could be.

Also, a place where you can get smashed and wake up next to a stranger.

Mike and I settled into our dorms without much issue. Besides Mike, we had two other roommates in the quad we shared. Austin and Nolan. Austin was gay as the sun was bright and an absolute hoot to be around. Nolan was nice enough, but private and kept to himself for the most part. The weekend after, I helped Emma move her stuff into the house she was sharing with Sarah and three other girls. They seemed nice enough people. Beyond her roommates, the area itself seemed decent enough. I had been a bit nervous considering some of the off-campus areas could be rough, but two of her roommates vouched for the area having lived there the previous year.

The following week passed in a flash as I oriented myself to all the changes. I took Emma out for dinner a few times to try out some local places, but neither of us was in the mood for anything extra. We talked and texted constantly. Considering the new situations we found ourselves in, there was plenty of conversation material. We might not have seen each other every day, but it never felt like it.

Before classes started, I took her out on a proper date. I spared no expense, finding an upscale place downtown to take her to. Emma went all out as well, which made it incredibly challenging to stay on schedule. After near constant sex over the summer, the two weeks of celibacy had been rough and she wasn’t making it any easier.

Dinner was fantastic and the play I took her to after was as great as I remembered. Still, it was hard to focus on the music when Emma’s hand kept ‘accidentally’ brushing my thigh. The drive to the hotel I’d booked was only a few minutes away, but it was the longest minutes of my life.

“I could get used to this,” she said happily, giving me a warm smile. “You always find these amazing restaurants to go to. Not going to lie, I wasn’t too thrilled about the play since this was my first one and I’d never heard of it before, but it was a lot of fun!”

“Glad you enjoyed it,” I said, chest puffing up with her praise.

“What’s next on the agenda?” she asked, her smile showing she knew exactly what I had planned. She managed to keep an air of innocence in her voice despite knowing.

“I figured a night alone was in order. Having roommates is great and all, but I’m used to having a large area to myself. It’s a bit jarring suddenly living crammed together with three other guys.”

“Still getting along?”

I nodded as I slowed to turn into the parking garage. “Austin is a natural comedian and him and Mike are like a comedy routine if you leave them be. Nolan, I’m still trying to figure out. He seems like a nice guy though and I think it will take a bit more for him to warm up to us.”

Parking the car, I listened to Emma talk about her roommates. Sarah, to the surprise of no one, already had a ‘friend’ she had over fairly regularly. She was taking full advantage of her new independence, ‘trying out’ three other guys before settling on her current guy. Emma had been nervous about her friend bringing over so many guys, but the others hadn’t mentioned anything about it.

After checking in, I rested my hand on Emma’s back as I guided her into the elevator and pressed the floor our room was on.

“Everyone seems super nice though,” she said, continuing the conversation as the floors ticked up. “Riley knows the local nightlife like the back of her hand. This one club has—”

“You went to a club?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” she said with a shrug.

“Don’t you have to be twenty-one to get into those?”

“Yeah,” Emma said with a faint blush. “Riley knows a guy…”

I sighed. “You got fake IDs.”

“We got fake IDs,” she confirmed. She shifted uncomfortably. “That… okay?”

“Just be careful.”

“It was all five of us,” she said, following me out of the elevator. “I didn’t even drink!” She looked proud, head held high as she slipped her arm into mine. “Just dancing and having fun with the girls.”

I smiled. “Was it because you were too nervous to use the ID?”

“Too nervous to use the ID,” she said with a sheepish grin. “Sarah said they didn’t even card her at the bar, figuring if you made it past the bouncer… I’d never been so nervous when I handed him the ID, but the guy barely glanced at it!”

We made it to the room and I continued to listen to her story as I led us inside. She was still talking even as my hands trailed over her body, indicating I was ready to move on to more…physical…activities. Fingers grasping the zipper of her dress, I slowly pulled it down as I kissed her exposed shoulders. God, she smelled so good. Being here like this made me realize how long it had been. How much I missed her.

“Two weeks is way too long,” I breathed before nibbling at her neck.

“Two weeks?” she breathed.

“Since we had sex.”

“Mmm,” she sighed, tilting her neck to give me better access. I gently tugged at her dress, wanting nothing more than to get her out of it. “Only been a few days for me.”

I froze, the fabric of her dress still in hand. The shock of her matter-of-fact tone was like a bucket of ice water.

“What?”

She looked just as confused as I was. “Huh?”

“A few days?”

“Mm,” she confirmed, eyes staring up into mine. “You’ve been busy the past two weeks. I was feeling a bit horny so…”

Mouth dry, I stared at her in disbelief. “S-so?”

The barest of smiles tugged at her lips, but she quickly suppressed it to keep the innocent expression she was showing me. Reaching forward, she pressed her hand against my chest before slowly running it downward. “I didn’t want to bother you,” she cooed softly, lowering her gaze. “So I took care of it.”

I stumbled away. “Emma. You—”

She was quick to follow, eyes wide as words spilled from her. “It didn’t mean anything, Isaac! I swear it. I mean, the sex was… amazing,” she gushed, blushing as if remembering a fond memory. “You wouldn’t believe how many hot guys are on campus. This one—” She shook her head as if shaking off the memories. “I love you though.” Her voice was a whisper as she wrapped her arms around me, pressing tightly against me as she squeezed.

My head was spinning. I had not been expecting this. Between the move, getting settled in, and preparing for classes, I’d forgotten about what I’d agreed to. Emma hadn’t, and I think she was counting on me forgetting. Still, this was our date night. The first proper one we’d had in weeks. I had been expecting a long night of pampering Emma and enjoying every second of it. It seemed my girlfriend had other plans, and promptly blindsided me with them; hijacking my carefully planned night at the last moment.

Heart racing, I ran my hand through my hair as I took a breath to collect myself. Took a few, but I was done reeling from the revelation she’d just dropped in my lap.

“While I appreciate the effort, I was hoping tonight we could—”

The shift was like flicking off a light. Sweet, innocent Emma was gone.

“Communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship, Isaac.”

“I know that—”

“You do want our relationship to be a healthy one, right?”

“Of cour—”

“Then we need to talk about the man I was with.” Her finger trailed down my breastbone, her eyes following it. My breath caught as they flicked up to stare at me. “You don’t want me keeping secrets, do you?”

Throat tightening, I struggled to fill my lungs. “N-no.”

She nudged me toward the bed and I fell back into a seated position. Standing before me, she wiggled out of her dress. A quiver ran through me as I ran my eyes over her body. Even after all the times I’d seen her like this, she still had a hypnotic effect on me. It wasn’t because she was attractive—she was. It was because she was Emma.

My Emma.

Straddling my legs, she took a seat facing me. There was an intensity in her eyes I hadn’t seen in a long time and I got a feeling tonight might be rough.

“Are you mad I had sex with another guy?” Subtly wasn’t on the menu tonight it seemed.

I let out a slow breath. “No.”

Her eyebrow shifted slightly. “You seem upset.”

“This wasn’t what I expected tonight.”

“Would you rather I kept quiet?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“I can,” she said, ignoring me. “If you want me to.” When I opened my mouth to respond, she continued. “After all, I didn’t fuck him for your benefit. I did it because I wanted to. I was horny and my boyfriend was too busy to take care of me.” My mouth hung open, words not coming to me. “That’s the kind of girl I am, Isaac. I know we said this was going to be a trial thing, but honestly? I think I could get used to it. Sarah and I went to campus a few times to get an idea of where things were, and there were so many hot guys. And it’s a smaller campus than your school! I thought about how I could fuck any of them, as many as I wanted to… It made me hot, Isaac. All those guys. Wondering how they would feel inside me.” She took a breath, looking as if she was calming herself. “But I resisted. After all, I had you. My wonderful boyfriend,” she said with a smile.

Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around me as her lips pressed against my ear. “Then I met Theo.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I wasn’t prepared for this. Emma was going hard tonight when my mind was still in romantic evening mode. The monster inside me should be loving this, but even it was confused by the situation. It had been taking a nice nap until Emma had kicked the damn thing out of bed.

Pulling back, she had a bit of a sad pout going. “We got to talking and he reminded me a lot of Ryan. One thing led to another…” She stopped to look at me. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s…fine.”

“Is it?” she breathed, arms tightening around my neck. “I was the one who flirted with him first. I encouraged him knowing where it was leading.” She was inching closer as she spoke, lowering her voice. “I invited him. When he kissed me, I kissed him back. Whispered his name as he entered me. Screamed it when he made me cum.” Each breath pulled more of her perfume into my lungs. There was a quiver through my body as I suffered under the intensity of her gaze. This hurt in a way I hadn’t experienced in a long time. Nothing bad, but certainly not what I had been accustomed to lately.

I was used to Emma enjoying the company of other guys, but that was in the realm of our relationship. A level of safety was there since I knew she was enjoying it for my sake as much as hers. It was a positive feedback dynamic that made for some great sex.

This felt different. This was a form of the old Emma. The one I knew before we grew into our relationship. I had no doubt this Theo was real, just like I knew things had happened. Emma was hitting me hard tonight so that I understood what I was asking for. Sex with Mike and our other friends had been a fun experience for everyone. She was warning me that going down this path meant she was going to start having sex with other men for her, not us. There would be aspects I enjoyed, and I could put a stop to anything I didn’t like, but the understanding was clear. Emma was going to be the priority.

Just like how it had been when I met her.

Sitting here, staring into her eyes, I realized I didn’t know how I felt about that. The idea of a slutty Emma was a siren song in the back of my mind, the darker side of the monster inside me. I could see the jagged rocks in the rough seas the song led into. Navigation wasn’t impossible, but a misstep could spell disaster. It was safer to keep to familiar waters.

Safer, but the adventuring call…

“Emma.” Her eyes focused on me as I spoke. There was a quiver in my hand as I reached forward to rest them on her hips. “Did you enjoy it?” I asked slowly.

Her answer was soft and gentle. “Yes.”

“Was the sex really that great?”

“It was.”

“Would you do it again if you could?”

Hesitation, then determination as she stared me down. “Yes.”

I broke eye contact, looking down.

Her lips pressed against my forehead. “I love you,” she whispered.

“Did you think of me at all when you were with him?”

She let the question hang for a few seconds before answering. “How could I not?” I looked up, not expecting that based on how things were going. I fully expected her to tell me how she couldn’t think of much else with how amazing the sex was. “Every time he touched me, you were there. I was constantly thinking, ‘Isaac wouldn’t touch me like that.’ ‘Isaac would kiss me right now.’” She smiled mischievously. “‘Isaac doesn’t quite fill me as much as he does…’”

It was her that broke first—an odd turn of events considering she was the one running the show. Slamming her lips against mine, she greedily kissed me. Her hunger was surprising, reminding me of the brief kiss I had with Sarah what seemed like a lifetime ago. Emma had an aggressive side, but nothing like this.

She pushed me back onto the bed, legs straddling me as she continued the **** on my lips. By now, the rational center of my brain had thrown up its hands, giving up control to lust and desire. I held my own against her, trying to match her passion as my hands circled her. She didn’t bother removing much of my clothes, simply getting out what she needed and taking it.

I had brought plenty of condoms for tonight, but it seemed Emma had no interest in them. Her kisses slowed as I felt her hand guide my cock. The heat of her pressed against the tip. Crushing her lips against mine, I groaned as I entered her.

Pulling away, she began to bounce atop me. I’d seen this naked beauty many times before, but this was different. Something unseen had possessed my girlfriend and was driving her. As good as the sex was, I found it secondary to curiosity. It felt like I’d stumbled on a new layer to Emma and my natural reaction was to discover everything about it.

Hands pressing against my chest, my hands helped to balance her as she rode me. She had her eyes closed with an expression of someone trying to recall something.

“Yeah, he was bigger than you,” she said, eyes still closed. “The difference two inches makes.” Opening her eyes, she continued her frantic pace as she stared down at me. Her hands rubbed against my chest as a grin formed. “He had some wicked abs too.”

I found myself mute, breathing hard. The pleasure I felt was a distant feeling. My attention was captivated by her voice. I knew what listening would do to me, but I didn’t stop her. It was surreal hearing her talk about her experience while she was with me. The way she was talking about it, the guy set a high bar—a bar I wasn’t currently hitting. Beyond the physical differences, it sounded like the guy had experience and skill to back it up.

The words spilled from her in a mix of matter-of-fact and pleasure. I was along for the ride as my girlfriend gushed about the amazing sex she’d had with him. It had all the elements I enjoyed. Emma relished the pleasure—both past and present—the knowledge that the girl I love enjoyed some amazing sex, the taboo nature of her getting it from another guy with the added extra thrill of not asking me first.

So why was I not enjoying it? Hearing her compare the other guy to me cut, but I was over insecurities like that by now. Emma was hotter than ever, and her being with another guy ‘without permission’ wasn’t upsetting. Even her hijacking our date for this wasn’t the cause. It wasn’t like any of this was bad. Where Emma seemed all-in, all I could manage was a robust, ‘meh.’

Opening her eyes, she slowed. Staring down at me, she began to rock gently as she breathed hard. Reaching out, her hand brushed against my cheek. “He was better than you in so many ways. Better body. Better cock. Better skills. Everything was better.” I felt my jaw clench but remained silent, resigned to let her have her fun. The surprise came when her expression softened. She had stopped all movement, her weight pressing against me. We stared in silence, the only sound our heavy breathing. I braced myself, expecting the hammer.

“So why is this so satisfying?”

After listening to her nonstop praise another guy, the question threw me off completely.

“He was better in nearly all aspects, yet why does this feel so goddamn good?”

The question sparked something in me. An instant inferno that burned away the passive acceptance that had rooted inside me. Wrestling her to the bed, she didn’t resist me as I took control. She gasped with each thrust, legs tightening around me as I put my body to motion.

The entire mood had changed. Emma had been enjoying herself before, but this was on another level. The difference between the teaser and the main event. The shock and newness of the situation made me temporarily forget my role in this. She’d fulfilled her end, having amazing sex with another guy. It was my job to remind her there was something better. To override everything the other man had done to her.

There were no more words, the raw passion of the moment taking us. I put everything I had into this moment. A single idea drove me with blind determination. I would remind her who she belonged to. That she was mine.

Emma was more receptive to this than normal. She was more vocal; her expression one of a woman overwhelmed by pleasure. Her eyes never left me, as if engraving my image in her mind. They put me at ease in a way words never could. A silent guarantee that no matter how many other men she was with, there would only be one in her heart.

To hell with safe waters. The ship we built was strong and made for treacherous seas. I wanted to see what waited beyond the unexplored.

“I’m the only man you need,” I grumbled through sharp breaths. Her panting was the only answer as I continued to thrust myself against her. It had been a while since I was this rough with her, but she didn’t seem to mind. I could see this was what she needed. “And your body knows that, even if it hasn’t clicked up there,” I said with a quick look at her forehead. My grip tightened on her hips, pressing her in place. “Time to stop fucking around, Emma, and admit no other man is ever going to beat me.”

“No,” she snapped back with a hint of defiance.

“No?”

“I have no intention of stopping.” Her words did nothing to stop my movements. The opposite. They were causing me to dig deep and put everything I had into this moment. “I’m not going to miss out on mind-blowing sex because I’m in a relationship with you.” The defiance grew, a proud smirk forming on her sweat-sheen face. “I found I rather enjoy being a slut.”

I stopped cold. “What?” My voice was frosty as I glared at her. Fear wiped away all the other emotions as she reached up for me.

“Isaac, I—”

Slapping her hand away, I pressed my hand against her chest to hold her down against the bed. “Correct it.”

“Wha—”

“What you just said. Correct it,” I snapped.

Her eyes darted around my face, mind racing as she struggled to find the error. Snapping to mine, her eyes widened and I knew she had found the answer.

“I enjoy being your slut.”

I rewarded her by continuing the pace I had before. It seemed to embolden her once more, her smirk inching its way back.

“You like that, don’t you? Me spreading my legs for another guy. Enjoying myself in ways I never will with you.”

“That’s right. You are my slut, Emma. No matter how many men you spread your legs for, no matter how many cocks you fuck, not one will ever satisfy you like I will.” I stared down at her, the intensity of the moment chasing away her cocky attitude. “Do you know why, Emma?”

She said nothing, staring up at me with parted lips.

My voice was low as I spoke. “No matter how amazing the guy’s skills are, no matter how big the guy is,” my eyes locked with hers, “they will never fill you as completely as I do.”

It was a finishing statement in more ways than one. Pushing myself against her, I had no intention of pulling out as I pumped my seed into her. Emma realized what was happening a moment later. This wasn’t the first time we’d done this without a condom, but it had never held such meaning as it did now. I didn’t care how many men Emma slept with, but this here? This was a privilege only I had.

We didn’t say anything right away, simply looking at each other as we caught our breath. She grinned.

“You really are a pervert.”

“And you love it.”

“I do,” she said, pulling me into a kiss.

After cleanup, I undressed and waited for her to return from the bathroom. She said nothing as she turned off the light and joined me in bed. Snuggling up against me, she had her back to me as I held her close. We were silent for a long time, processing everything in our separate ways. Shifting slightly, I kissed her bare shoulder.

“Emma?”

“Mm?”

“Real talk? How was it?”

“Tonight, or…?”

“Theo, was it?”

She sighed, making no move to face me. “I did sleep with him.”

“I figured that. Now that I have some time to think, I have a feeling you were playing things up tonight.”

“I was. Not saying sex with him was bad,” she trailed off. “It was weird having a partner I knew nothing about. Until now, sex was pretty much always with people I knew and trusted.”

“Tell me,” I whispered.

I listened to her story while I continued planting light kisses on her shoulder and neck. The real story. It was true that she went to explore campus with Sarah, but that was about the only part grounded in reality. The only reason she met Theo is because one of Sarah’s ‘friends’ recognized her and he had been with him. All the talk about Emma seducing him was just that: talk. Theo had been the one flirting and Emma hadn’t shown any interest until remembering what we’d agreed to do. Since he was as good as any, she let it happen with minimal effort or encouragement on her part. A rather lackluster affair overall.

“He seemed pretty experienced with girls in general. It was…nice,” she finished after a pause.

I stopped kissing her to hold her tight. “Nice enough to do it again? With another guy that is,” I added, not caring if she slept with this Theo guy again.

She sighed. “I don’t know, Isaac. I didn’t realize how different sex between a friend and a stranger could be. Physically, it was fine, but it was hard to get comfortable and let myself enjoy things when I knew nothing about the guy I was with.” I didn’t say anything, taking comfort in her presence. I knew that ultimately, this was her decision and I didn’t want to influence her. “I guess—” she paused and rolled over. I couldn’t see much in the dark, but there was enough light to see the general features of her face. She probably had a better view since I was facing the dim light that kept the room from being in complete darkness. “Do you want me to continue?”

“Not if you don’t want to.”

“Not what I asked.”

I took a moment to think. “Once the shock wore off, tonight was pretty hot. You seemed fired up more than usual.”

It looked like she had a small smile, but it was hard to tell in the darkness. “Me? You were unusually aggressive tonight. Did I touch a nerve?” she asked with a giggle.

I answered with a kiss. A kiss that grew into something more as I moved atop her.

Guess we were going to get some lovemaking in after all.

Thoroughly spent, Emma snuggled up against me after we finished cleaning up for a second time. Eyes closed, I enjoyed the light scent of her perfume that still lingered as I held her tight. I was about to drift off when her soft words brought me back.

“One year.” It took me a second to figure out what she was talking about. “Once sophomore year starts, I’m only going to sleep with people I’m comfortable with.”

“Fair enough.”

“The amount is up to me. You can tell me to stop or reduce the number anytime, but I’ll determine how many guys I want to sleep with. It probably won’t be that many.”

“That’s fine. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find some guys that rock your world and that one-night-stand can be something more regular.”

“Perv.”

As we settled in for the night, my mind chewed through the implications of tonight. Maybe this was an unnecessary risk, but I trusted Emma. She was always mindful of our relationship and I knew she would stop things if she sensed something was wrong. I would too if I felt things were changing in a way I wasn’t comfortable with. In the end, the excitement of something new won out over any concerns I had.

As I drifted off, I realized neither of us said, ‘I love you,’ before going to sleep. There was no need. We no longer needed the words to express something we already understood.