Explain to them

“Guys,” you say, waving a hand to get their attention. “You don’t have to be so nervous about this. OK? Cons are big and noisy and it’s all strangers, but it’s not a big deal. I mean, think about it. We’re doing a booth. That’s all. There’s only three ways it can go,” you explain, smiling. “People either show up because they know about us and are interested, or they see our booth and come over because they’re curious, or they just walk by because they aren’t interested. None of those three things is scary. The people are not scary. Yeah, it’s a little hurtful when they just walk by, but that’s OK.” You shrug. “Not everyone at a con for games and anime and stuff is going to care about a sorority. Even an… exciting one.”

They all stare at you. After a moment, Nancy glances at Athena.

“What have you done?” she asks. “She’s too pure.”

“You deserve so much better than CCL,” Yuki agrees. “It’s very sad.”

“You have no idea how attractive that was,” Athena says with a laugh, pointing at you.

The tension is broken, but the plan hasn’t changed. After dinner you’re back in the car, going to the comic book store. The girls are truly curious now. It’s an alien thought to you because you are so familiar with nerd culture, but to them, it’s all new and strange. They are fascinated.

This place is big, and only half of it is relevant to comics. The other half is all about other types of sci-fi and fantasy stuff, with lots of arcade cabinets and PS4s set up to play games competitively. It looks like there’s MTG and Street Fighter going on tonight. The place is full but not packed, mostly with people here for the tourneys, not so much shopping.

Yuki looks disappointed that nobody’s cosplaying, but she’ll get plenty of cosplay tomorrow.

You and the others draw… a few looks when you come through the door. This isn’t an anime in which ‘normal’ people look radically different from the otaku, but it’s not exactly normal to see four conventionally attractive, well-dressed girls walk through the doors of this kind of shop.

“Oh,” Athena says, taking in the somewhat chaotic scene of the two tournaments going on simultaneously in the loud, colorful store full of outlandish posters, statues, and advertisements. “I thought there would be more girls.”

“It’s still more than there used to be,” you assure her. “There’ll be more at the con.”

“You sure? This is a sausage fest,” Yuki says. “That’s not to be critical of sausage, but sausage is part of a balanced meal that also includes pussy,” she adds.

“Real classy,” Athena says with a fake smile.

“With a bod like this, I don’t need class. My ass is harder than that guy,” Yuki says, pointing at a cardboard cutout. “That gay, metal guy.”

“That is Colossus and he’s not gay,” you tell her.

“How do you know he’s not gay?” Nancy asks. “Big gay energy from him.”

“Because he dated Kitty Pride,” you tell them.

“That’s a hot name,” Yuki says. “I’d fuck a girl named Kitty Pride.”

“He does look like he can smash,” Nancy adds, touching her finger to her lips.

You put your face in your hands. “Ladies. Focus.”

“Focus on what?” Athena asks, looking around in wonder. “What are they doing?”

“They’re registered for Street Fighter.”

“And what are they doing? Are they buying those?” Nancy asks, pointing.

“No, well—yes. It’s a sealed deck tournament,” you say.

“A sealed what? Oh, look at you. Man, this is so different from the cartoons I saw,” Yuki says, taking a comic off the rack. “Oh, you grew up, sweetheart. Whoof. Look at that bod.”

“What is that, Batgirl? Don’t objectify Barbara Gordon,” you snap, snatching it away from her and putting it back on the rack.

“Oh, this costs four bucks?” Nancy says, staring at another comic. “Shit. Not in this economy.” She puts the one that she was looking at back.

“This is cute,” Athena is saying, holding a plush Michael Meyers in her hands. You snatch that away and put it back.

“Are you crazy? After what happened at CCL?” you ask shrilly.

“Oh,” Athena says, eyes widening. “You’re right. Sorry, Meri.”

“Nancy! Put that down!” you snap.

Nancy has a huge, hardcover book in her hands. “No! I love this. I saw the show,” she says. It’s a big collection of The Witcher comics. “It has Superman in it with long hair. That’s a sausage I could work with. God. It’s heavy. It’s like a bible.” You wrestle the omnibus collection away from her and put it back, only to see Yuki with another one.

“Can you just stop,” you tell her. CCL is broke. They don’t realize how expensive this stuff is.

“But it’s got this bodacious blonde on it,” Yuki says, showing you the cover. It’s a collection of Judge Dredd stuff, the Psi Files. “This is my jam. Please tell me she gets naked in this.”

“Her name is Cassandra, and she probably does not. It’s not porn. Put it back,” you tell her sternly.

“Really?” Yuki looks disappointed. “I feel like this is just begging for porn. Isn’t there porn of everything? Didn’t you say that once?”

“OK, I will teach you what AO3 is,” you promise her. “Then you can have porn of whatever you want. Just put it down without damaging it.”

“OK, jeez.”

You sigh deeply. You can’t just let these three run amok in this store. You have to… focus their attention somehow. Athena is starting to wander into the manga section. You do not want to have to explain all of Japanese culture to her.

“OK guys,” you say, getting their attention. “Check this out,” you go on, but stop.

You have to make a choice. Something to… keep their attention.

You look over. There’s still a line at both registration tables.

Register for Street Fighter?

Or register for MTG?