Europe? Okay, let me tell you about my holydays

Hum… I think over the two months I spent in Europe I have collected more memories than I have in my whole life. It’s been amazing. Each and every step of the journey has been amazing and European food, don’t get me started on that. Each and every nation has its specificities. The French make great lovers, so affectionate and considerate of the partner’s pleasure, a bit overconfident maybe but they taste so good. A healthy diet makes the blood so delicious. Italians, good lovers, big mouths, funny seducers. Romanians, rough motherfuckers, fifty years of communism does change your man, but you know me I like it rough too. And Spaniards and brits and… I’ll tell you about it as we go.

Oh a funny thing, in the whole two month of my trip I haven’t encountered a single circumcised dick. Not one. Actually the first time it was quite a surprise. This weird flaccid piece of flesh covering the tip of the dick… I had a discussion with a guy about it one day. He told me that in Europe only Jews and some Muslims are circumcised. I told him about the hygiene problems and he told me that was exactly that, a hygiene problem. As long as you wiggle it enough in the shower there’s no reason there should be any problems, he said. It gave me quite a shock imagining all those European males shaking there dicks every morning. Before he had finished his sentence I was all wet and the guy ended up as my dinner. Europeans are indeed quite sexual creatures. By the way, an Italian girl told me a joke about it:

What is the useless piece of flesh at the end of the dick?

The man.

Ha, I loved it!

But let’s start from the beginning, the plane landed in Paris on a warm morning. The guys at the customs were gloomy and pretty aggressive; I guess that you’d get the same if you were a European tourist going to the US. And I also guess that with all the terrorism and shit they must be extra careful.

Not twelve hours later, after a long shower and a long nap, Susan and I were sitting on a "terrasse" just below Montmartre and the sacré Coeur enjoying a glass of Bordeaux. Wine in Europe, don’t get me started on wine in Europe either… French, Italian, Austrian, Spaniard, almost as varied and delicious as Europeans... It has ruined for me all the production of the west coast.

So we were sitting on a “terrasse”, as they call it, when a guy approached us. Mid-twenties, good looking, of Arab descent. I tried to know where he was from originally but he insisted he was French. Anyway, his name was Karim and he offered us to take us on a tour of Crazy Paris. I knew for a fact that he had more in mind than just behind helpful with two American teenagers, but I didn’t care, I also had some plans for him that he wouldn’t consciously accept and of which morals would severely reprove.

Later that night, we sneaked into the Eiffel tower and walked all the way up to the second floor. The view was absolutely magnificent, the Seine river, the Champs de Mars, all those bridges, the Montparnasse tower. It was quite magnificent.

We had to reward him for this so we all got naked and we had him chase us all over the place. He finally caught up with Susan and pinned her against the guardrail with a magnificent kiss. I joined them and had my first European meal. Karim, glorious Karim, he tasted so good.

We stayed in Paris for two long weeks, going to theatres and not understanding much, going to museums, to parks, enjoying more "terrasses" and more wine and more Karim... Well I kind of exhausted him after a few days but the opportunities were so many, I loved Paris. I think I'll go back there some day, to stay for a few years.