Ethan "Incel" Callaway

Ethan Callaway used to be a popular streamer. Well... semi-popular. Okay, okay—he was a washed-up streamer after a string of unfortunate events had him effectively canceled over the past few months. He had once thrived on a steady audience, playing first-person shooters with a loyal, if not rowdy, fanbase. Now, he spent most of his time in his room, shouting at his monitor, ignoring the dwindling number of viewers still willing to watch him rage through games.

His living space reflected his decline—an absolute pigsty. Soda cans littered the floor, manga volumes were stacked in precarious towers, and empty chip bags adorned his unmade bed like a lazy artist’s attempt at decor. He had messy brown hair that fell past his shoulders, a gaunt frame hidden beneath an unwashed hoodie, and an overall air of someone who had long abandoned the outside world.

One evening, as he sat hunched over his desk, the door cracked open slightly. A hesitant but exasperated voice followed. “Dude, the stench from your room is invading the entire apartment.”

Ethan didn’t bother looking away from his screen. “Ugh, I’ll clean it later!”

His roommate sighed but didn’t push further. They both knew Ethan wasn’t going to clean up anytime soon.

A glance at his chat confirmed what he already suspected—his viewership had hit rock bottom. From a meager 250 viewers, it had now fallen to 200. His fingers drummed against his desk before he finally muttered, “Fine. Let’s fucking switch it up.”

Halfheartedly, he checked his email for any sponsorship deals or game promotions—anything to shake up his content.

Squinting at the email subject - 'New Opportunity for Stream Growth' - he clicks on it, already prepared to dismiss another ‘sponsored gaming chair' offer. "Another fuckin' marketing trick..." He starts to scroll down, barely registering the contents at first. "... What the fuck?"

His tired eyes landed on an unfamiliar message. Congratulations! You’ve been preselected by Illuminance Enterprises to beta test an exclusive indie game.

Ethan stares at the email, his eyes widening in shock. His heart races as he quickly scans the message, then clicks on the link provided. "A new game... just for me?" He mutters to himself, already forgetting about his chat that continues to insult him. "Fucking finally!"

With bubbling excitement, he downloaded the beta client and booted it up.

The game launches, and a dark, eerie loading screen appears. Ethan raises an eyebrow but doesn't comment. He's seen enough games to know that indie titles often have unique aesthetics. The game finally loads into a character creation screen. "Alright, let's see what this shit has to offer."

Hours passed in a blur. The game was actually good—so good, in fact, that Ethan played non-stop for four hours straight. He's forgotten about his stream, his chat, his roommates, everything. He's exploring alien planets, building bases, and fighting off hostile creatures. The game's graphics are stunning, and the gameplay is addictive.

"Holy shit..."

Before he knew it, he had beaten it, feeling a rare rush of triumph he hadn’t experienced in ages.

Leaning back in his chair, he runs his hands through his greasy hair, a genuine smile playing on his lips. "... fuck." His mind starts racing - not just about how good the game was, but how this could be his saving grace. "Finally... something actually fuckin' interesting."

Then, a congratulatory message popped up on-screen:

Congratulations, Ethan Callaway! You have successfully completed the trial. Would you like to join our new and exclusive program, developed by Illuminance Enterprises?

Beneath the message, a button flashed: Accept Terms & Conditions.

Without a second thought, Ethan clicked OK.

Big mistake.

The moment his finger left the mouse, a sudden surge of white-hot light engulfed his entire room.

WHAT THE FUCK?!" Ethan's scream echoes through the suddenly chaotic room. His monitor crackled. His vision blurred. He felt himself being yanked upwards—gravity reversing, his body lifting off his chair, soaring through the ceiling like a ragdoll.

Then, nothing.

Ethan woke up groggy, his body aching as if he had just lost a fight against a freight train. His vision swam, his mouth tasted like blood, and his limbs felt stiff. The last thing he remembered was the blinding light.

Groaning, Ethan slowly pushes himself up, blinking rapidly to clear his blurred vision.

"Where the fu-?"

Slowly, his vision cleared. He was lying on a bed—not his own, but one impossibly soft, covered in plush blankets. The room around him was sleek, futuristic, bathed in warm white light. The furniture had an oddly organic feel to it, curving seamlessly into the walls as if they were part of the room itself. There was a small kitchen area, a sunken living room, and an overall sense of sterile elegance that made his filthy apartment seem like another world entirely.

"What... the actual fuck..."

A soft chime rang out.

“Greetings, Ethan. How was your sleep?”

His head snapped toward the sound. A floating pill-shaped robot hovered near the bed, an emoticon smiley face flickering on its screen. Its voice was warm and oddly soothing.

Ethan stares at the robot, his eyes wide with disbelief. "What the hell are you?" He blinks, trying to process the situation. "And where am I? What happened to my room?" His voice is a mix of confusion and growing panic.

“Greetings, Ethan Callaway. Welcome aboard the Illuminance Starship.”

Ethan blinked. “The what?”

“My name is E.D.N.A. I am your personal assistant, teacher and confident during your stay with us in outer space.”

He runs his fingers through his messy hair, still trying to process what's happening. "My... stay in outer space? What the fuck does that mean? Did I... did I get kidnapped by aliens?" His mind races with images of anal probes. " Wait—Illuminance? As in the game company?”

“Correct!” E.D.N.A. chirped happily. “Illuminance Enterprises has been working on establishing peaceful connections with the inhabitants of Quadrant Four of the Aetolian Galaxy—also locally known as ‘Earth.’ We have chosen you as part of our program to bridge the gap between civilizations through gaming.”

“Oh…” Ethan muttered, trying to process everything.

“Oh fuck.”

A sudden realization hit him like a truck. His stomach twisted.

“…Did I just get fucking **** by a indie game company masquerading as humans?”

E.D.N.A.’s smiley face blinked into a question one “****? Did you not read the terms of service Ethan?”

Ethan swallowed. He definitely had not. “Uh, sure I did.”

“Wonderful!” E.D.N.A. clapped its tiny metal hands together. “Then on behalf of Illuminance Starship and Illuminance Enterprises, I’d like to officially welcome you to our home away from home!”

Two metallic arms extended from its sides, grabbing Ethan’s hands in a firm handshake.

“We hope you enjoy your stay! And rest assured, we will do everything in our power to make it as enjoyable as possible.”

E.D.N.A. winked.

Ethan, still stunned, could only stare at the tiny robot, his brain struggling to reboot.

“…What the actual hell did I just sign up for?

__________________________________________________

Tweaked Ethan a bit so he's a bit more brash and fiery.