Eric's Weekend; Part 4

“You got caught?” Sabrina asked with big eyes and raised eyebrows.

“No, no,” Eric said, shaking his head. “Worse.”

“What could be worse than getting caught?” Gemma asked.

“Gross,” Lucy whined and grunted at the same time. “You fucking came in my shoes, you asshole.”

“I wasn’t exactly in control of my cock,” Eric replied, still adjusting himself. “You were the one pointing it in that direction.”

“I didn’t know you’d shoot that far!” Lucy complained. “Or this much! Fucking disgusting.”

“OK, yeah that’s gross,” Gemma said.

“Yeah, if she wasn’t expecting it… ew,” Sabrina shuddered. She ignored the look Gemma gave shot at her quickly and hoped she wasn’t blushing. “So what did you do?”

“Well, she couldn’t walk around the city barefoot,” Eric said. “So she had to wear them, but she was definitely put off and wanted to go home. So I called an Uber and we headed back to her place. But she didn’t even wait for me to open the door for her and she left me standing there on the sidewalk without even a goodnight kiss.”

“Damn,” Sabrina said. “I mean, I probably would have done the same thing, if I’m honest, but there wouldn’t have a blowjob or shoe-cum.”

“What? Why? It was a good date,” Eric said. “We had a nice meal at a fancy place, we did the whole walk down to the food trucks thing that you told me about. And the blowjob was her idea.”

“Eric, I don’t know how to say this any softer without being super clear,” Gemma said. “You were being an asshole, and the only reason Lucy went along with it is because she’s used to assholes.”

“Give me one example of how I was an asshole,” Eric said. “I brought her somewhere nice, I paid for the meal, I paid for dessert, I even fucking carried her two blocks.”

“How about thinking that you were better than her?” Gemma pointed out. “That’s a pretty good place to start.”

“And only wanting to go on the date to have sex to begin with,” Sabrina said. “Did she know that was all you wanted? Because the only way for you to not be a turd with that goal is if she knows it too.”

“Look, I’m not going to debate this with you two,’ Eric sighed. “Everything I’m doing is backed up by science. The Man’o’sphere is rigorous in its findings. Plus, we didn’t even get to the bad part.”

“That wasn’t the end?!” Sabrina asked.

“God, no,” Eric said. “She texted me later that night and said I owed her a new pair of shoes and sent me a Venmo request for like $400. I told her there was no way I was paying for those shoes because she was the one who screwed up. Then she sent me pictures of the shoes and they didn’t even look that bad. I said she should bring them over to my place and I’d clean them, and she said there was no way she was coming to my place without me paying for the shoes. She called me a bastard and an asshole, and I said she was being bitchy, and then she got mad at me for calling her a bitch and I tried to tell her I didn’t call her a bitch, just that she was being bitchy, and that blew up and she blocked me.”

“OK,” Gemma sighed. “So that’s where it ended.”

“No,” Eric said. “She unblocked me the next day.”

“Oh, God,” Sabrina groaned.

“She said she forgave me for the shoes, which I guess was her taking ownership that it was her fault. But I knew she would bring them up later, and she did. We texted flirty stuff most of Saturday morning, and then she came over to my place.”

“Did any of the bad stuff happen at your place?”

“Not… really?” Eric said. “We did bone though.”

“Please, Eric,” Sabrina said. “Just say you had sex. Erase ‘boning’ from your vocabulary.”

“Alright, we had sex. And it was… meh? She just kind of laid there.”

“Jesus, Lusy,” Gemma grunted, shaking her head. “No wonder she’s such a bitch.”

“What does that mean?” Eric asked.

“I mean she’s a total bitch to me, and at first it was because of the whole John and her dating in high school,” Gemma said. “But now I think it’s because she’s jealous.”

“Of John?”

“Of… good sex,” Gemma said, flushing a little. “She can’t be enjoying it if she’s just laying there.”

“Well, she said she got off,” Eric said.

“So do lots of girls who are lying their asses off,” Sabrina said. “Eric, seriously, you have some work to do to fix your thinking on dating, but you still deserve someone who actually likes being with you.”

“Yeah, well, after we had sex things got prickly again,” Eric said. “We went out to dinner and she started in on me about the shoes again, and I told her to drop it. Then she said those shoes had been a gift from a past boyfriend, and if he could give them to her then I should be able to replace them, or maybe I was just too poor for that. Well, I wasn’t going to stand for shit like that and I just got up and left. She followed me out of the pizza place and was screaming at me for like three blocks before a cop approached her. She started saying I’d assaulted her and shit, but as soon as the cop got serious with her she backed off.”

“Holy shit,” Gemma said. “Crazy bitch.”

“Yeah, well, once we got back to my place-”

“She went with you?” Sabrina asked. “You let her?!”

“Well, yeah,” he said. “She was acting crazy, but she’s kinda hot when she’s crazy. We had sex again, and it was like… really good. Angry sex is what she likes, I guess. Then we had make-up sex, which was pretty good too. Then she said if I didn’t pay for the shoes she’d take me to small claims court, and when I pointed out that the shoes had gotten dirty while we were performing an act that would come with a charge of indecent exposure at the very least she got mad and left.”

Gemma and Sabrina just listened with wide eyes.

“So that’s how Saturday ended,” Eric said.

“There’s more?” Sabrina asked.

“Not much,” Eric said. “We went back to flirty texting on Sunday, but then she sent me a link to a pair of shoes she wanted me to buy her, and I stopped responding. She texted again yesterday after work and wanted me to come over, but I told her I was busy and then left the rest of her messages on read.”

You came back into the room, water cup in hand. “Everything done here?” you asked. “I saw Garrison while I was in the kitchen. He just got in but said he’ll be coming down here soon.”

“Yeah,” Gemma said, waving you in. “All the nasty parts are over.”

“Feel better talking about it?” you asked Eric as you moved around the table and took your seat.

“Sort of?” he said. “But the girls are ragging on me for being smart.”

“It’s pronounced ‘a dick,’ Eric,” Sabrina sighed, then looked at you. “He needs dating lessons.”

“I got laid multiple times this weekend,” Eric said. “That’s doing better than you, probably.”

Sabrina went red and barked a laugh, clapping a hand over her mouth. You had to cover your own as well. You weren’t even sure where you would start if you went down that path. Beach sex? Mallory? Hot tub? Anal?

God, you loved your girlfriends.

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