Epilogue

Weary, bedraggled, and forlorn, two figures trudged through the outer caves of the drider warren. Teysa had left the City in high spirits, but the closer they got to the warren, the more her apprehension weighed on her. In the presence of the Goddess, it was easy to be confident. There, and for days afterward, she had felt like a heroine. There were changes happening in Drow society now, seismic shifts that would take decades to play out fully, but the overwhelming mood among the priestesses had been optimism. Things would get better, perhaps slowly, but inexorably.

Now Teysa and Aliara carried the revelation to the other half of the ancient divide, and they did so alone. Teysa had grown up with stories about the great prophets of Agamor: fiery Saint Telesius, soft-spoke Saint Muron, all of them brimming with holy confidence as they spoke the word of God. All of Teysa's certainty had drained away, leaving a gnawing, anxious void within her. More than once she had considered just running away. She had done more already than could have been reasonably expected of anyone. Now, was she really going to return to the home of the creatures that had captured and enslaved her? Why? What would they say when their errand-girl came back with instructions that would upend their whole society?

Three things kept her going. The first was the thought of all those women hanging on the wall in darkness. They did not deserve what had happened to them any more than Teysa had. The second was Aliara's quiet faith. The half-elf had been calling for them to escape since before they even arrived at the City, and yet she was quiet now. Something had changed in her: though this had not been her mission or her choice, she seemed determined to see it through to the end.

Third, there was something Lolth had whispered to her, just before the two had separated. As Teysa floated in the darkness of the goddess's memories, the Mother Below had given her something, a final note to pass on to her wayward child.

The first drider picket to notice them waved them to a halt. She leveled her spear, then recognizing Teysa, beckoned curtly and pointed to the tunnel behind her. Her expression was as blank as ever, but Teysa thought she noticed a hint of contempt. She brushed that thought aside. Her words were for the Matron, and her alone. If she was right-- if Lolth's final revelation had been true-- then this was a conversation they would need to have in private.

As they traveled, two drider guards materialized out of the gloom and fell in alongside them. They wore segmented silver armor and carried long spears with leaf-shaped blades. Neither was leveled at Teysa or Aliara, but the message was clear. They marched stiffly through winding tunnels and past dimly light caverns until the passage widened into the audience chamber. Standing before them was the Matron, imposing on her dais, her hair bound up into two cones and wrapped in silver thread. She wore a golden tiara and nothing else, and her arms were folded beneath her breasts. She looked from Teysa to Aliara and back again, then smiled. "Well? I ssssssssssee hyou have returned to ussssssss. What newssssssss do hyou bring of Sssssssiri'ka?"

Teysa cleared her throat. All around her were driders-- the two guards, the matron, and a dozen others, all hanging on to her every word. Next to her, Aliara drew closer, and Teysa could feel the half-elf quaking. This was it. It was now or never. She took a deep breath.

"Yes, Matron. We have returned. I am afraid that I bring sad tidings. Siri'ka is dead."

A hiss went up all around her. The driders reared back on their legs and clawed at the air. The noises that emerged from their throats were inhuman. Their faces, too, split and twisted into carnivore grins. The Matron did not join them, but the expression on her face was that of a predator salivating over a fresh kill. "Ssssssso. It isssss war, then, that our cruel cousinssssss want. We will-"

"No, Matron." Teysa's voice was quiet and clear, but it cut through the hubbub of the audience chamber. A shocked silence spread outward, a ripple with Teysa at its epicenter. The Matron towered over her, her eyes narrowing to angry slits. "What do hyou sssssay?" she demanded.

"I said no. I bring more than that news, Matron. I bring you a message from Mother Lolth."

The uproar that followed nearly drove Teysa to her knees. All around her, driders were shouting, hissing, screaming accusations and imprecations. The Matron herself lunged forward and grabbed her by the shoulders. Teysa could feel her feet leaving the ground and struggled fruitlessly. The Matron's serene mask had cracked, and the rage that boiled beneath it was terrible to behold. "How dare hyou! You mock usssssss, human. I ssssssssee my misssssstake in trusssssssting hyou."

Fighting down her panic, Teysa tried to choose her next words carefully. She knew that if she was wrong, she would die, and Aliara with her. Speaking directly to the Matron, in a voice so low that none of the others could hear, she said "I also bring you a message from Tabitha."

All of the anger disappeared from the Matron's face. Her mouth hung open, and her dark eyes blinked with uncertainty. "What-" she began, and trailed off. Teysa nodded and gave her an encouraging smile. "A message from Tabitha. For your ears only." The Matron set her down on the floor and waved her arms for quiet. "My court!" she cried out, and they fell silent before her. "Leave usssssss! Teyssssssa and I will sssssspeak alone."

One of her attendants stepped forward. "Surely, Matron, this blasphemer must-"

"I said LEAVE!" bellowed the Matron. The other courtiers cringed away from the unlucky speaker. She looked around for support, saw she had none, and bowed. "At once, Matron," she managed, and withdrew. The guards and the other courtiers followed. One took Aliara by the wrist-- she looked forlorn, but allowed herself to be dragged away. Soon Teysa and the Matron were alone in the cave. The spider-woman folded her legs beneath her and rested her massive abdomen on the ground. Planting her arms on her hips, she gave Teysa an appraising stare. "Where did hyou hear that name?" she asked. "If hyou lie to me, you will sssssssuffer like hyou cannot believe."

Teysa sat down crosslegged and laid her hands in her lap. "I told you, Matron. Lolth told me." She took a deep breath and began to relate the story of her experience in the city. The Matron did not react until she finished describing her audience with Lolth and Aliara's resurrection. Then she crossed her arms. "A fantassssstical tale. You expect me to believe that Lolth spoke directly to hyou? Perhapssssss my court wasssss right, and hyou are a blasssssphemer. I persssssonally think that hyou are addled by your ordeal. I will forgive thissssss lapssssse, but--"

"She told me about Tabitha," Teysa began. The Matron's face froze. She carefully resumed her neutral expression, but Teysa saw the spasm of grief that had flashed across her features. "She told me about your mother." She waited for the Matron to interrupt her, but the drider just stared ahead with a lost look on her face. Teysa swallowed hard and continued.

"You were young once. I don't know how old you are-- older than I would believe, probably, but you were young once. Your mother was matron before you, correct? But she wasn't your true mother. She laid an egg, and that egg hatched into a spiderling, and that spiderling became you, but your mother was the woman who carried you, birthed you, loved you and taught you. Just as I am mother to your children. The matron before you, when she saw that you had become a true drider, she came for you. She raised you for leadership. She taught you to be strong, and fair, how to protect the warren and keep the driders in line. She taught you how to take captives and how to breed them, how to hang them up on the wall. She pressed that into you, didn't she? That you were constantly at risk. That you were never more than one generation away from being wiped out. Alone in the world, surrounded by enemies, you had to take what you could grab and keep what you could hold. You had to ensure the survival of the warren by any means necessary.

You saw the suffering of the broodmothers. You saw them bear clutch after clutch, given no rest until their bodies and minds gave out. You saw them wither in the darkness, alone, nobody to talk to and nobody to love. You saw them denied their basic humanity, and you asked your matron about this, didn't you? You asked why it had to be this way. And she told you-"

The Matron continued to stare at the far wall, but she spoke quietly, reciting by rote. "Thisssssss isssss a brutal world. The ssssssstrong thrive, the meek are at their mercy. If hyou are not the cleaver then hyou will be the meat."

Teysa nodded. "So you hardened your heart and turned your back to the broodmothers, even when their wails haunted your dreams. Even when you saw them succumb to despair or try to end their suffering, you told yourself that this was how things had to be. And privately you doubted whether you had the strength to lead. You wondered if your matron had ever felt this way, or if she was just doing what nature demanded of her without question. You wondered if your fears meant that you were weak, and whether she would one day find out.

Your matron was strong, and she led a defense of the warren against the drow. Afterwards, the bodies all around, you went looking for her, and found her bleeding on the ground, with three legs severed. She told you that you had to lead now, that you had to be strong enough for the whole warren, that strength was the only thing that would keep you alive in this world. You called for help and your sisters carried her back to this room, but they could not repair her body. As she lay insensate and dying you ran, didn't you? You feared that your grief was a sign of weakness, so you fled to master it alone.

Lolth showed me, Matron. She showed me everything. She showed me how you found yourself in the brooding caves, surrounded by those whimpering bundles of flesh. She showed me how you were drawn to one, a pale woman who had been there as long as you could remember. You cut her down and held her in your arms, and she recognized you. You had found your mother, your real mother."

"Tabitha..." breathed the Matron. "How..." Her mouth hung open and her arms lay at her sides. Teysa reached out and clasped the matron's hand in hers. The drider's enormous hand dwarfed Teysa's, but there was no strength in it. Gently Teysa clasped her index finger and stroked it as she spoke.

"She showed me everything. She told me her name. Tabitha told you that you beautiful, and that she was proud of you. She told you that she forgave you, all of you, for what you had done to her. That she was proud to see her child grow up so big and so strong."

Tears trickled down the Matron's face. Her eyes were bottomless pits that seemed to draw in all light. Even in their blankness they communicated a deep and powerful grief. Teysa remained silent. Finally, the Matron spoke again.

"I told her that I was lossssssst and confusssssssed, and that I didn’t know what to do. That I doubted I had the sssssssstrength to do what had to be done. She told me that she wassssssss proud of me and knew I would do the right thing. And I... and I..." she trailed off into silence. She looked down at Teysa, her features twisted by sorrow. "I sssssssssnapped her neck! I killed her, my mother, and I left her there in the darknesssssssss! I dried my tearssssssss, and I went back to the audience chamber and took control of the warren. When Hev'ra challenged me, I sssssssstruck her down and proclaimed myssssssself Matron."

Teysa reached up towards the Matron's face. She placed one hand on the drider's cheek and felt the wetness beneath her fingers. The Matron stared at her in wonder, and Teysa thought back to her own capture and impregnation, a thousand years ago. There she had been shocked by the Matron's unexpectedly gentle touch. Now history inverted and repeated itself. She could feel the circle closing. "Tabitha forgives you, Matron. Lolth forgives you. I forgive you. You have to forgive yourself."

The Matron leaned forward, bringing her head down until it was level with Teysa's. She blinked twice and rubbed her face dry. Her eyes were black pits, endless and empty-- and, Teysa thought, terribly, terribly lonely. In that moment she felt a surge of pity for the Matron, and for the thousands before her, stretching back into prehistory, a chain that anchored the present to the sins of the past. She remembered what she told Lolth about the Empress. She needed her mother to guide her.

"Teyssssssssa, I do not know what power sent hyou to usssssss. Perhapssssss Mother Lolth, in her wissssssssdom, called you here. I do not know if we can change. I do not know if there isssssss another way for ussssssss, or if it isssssss too late. But for Lolth, and for Tabitha, I will try."