Epilogue: One Hell of a Date

Be on your guard, Lane, Lois told herself. They had agreed to meet at nine in the morning on a Saturday. They had agreed to keep it casual. Lois had, despite herself, spent some time deciding on an outfit...and picked a comfortable pair of jeans, comfortable shoes, a polo shirt, and her least-sexy underwear and bra. She had even trimmed her pubic hair, even though she had absolutely zero intention of any sexy times. Don't give her an inch! Not a single solitary smile!

On the dot, there was a knock on the door. Lois sighed and opened it. Blaze was in her human form...which Lois was glad about...and dressed in skinny black jeans over a brand new black T-shirt advertising some metal band she'd never heard of. Lois carefully deciphered the lettering, trying to ignore the small lady bumps underneath.

"Shub-Niggurath?" She said. "We're not going to a concert, are we?"

"Better," the dickgirl said, extending one pale hand.

Reluctantly, Lois took it. Blaze pulled her through the threshold...and there was the slightest sensation of falling through an infinite dark space, hand in hand with the demon, the wind rushing past her face...and then the reporter's foot touched the ground.

There was a sunless sky overhead. Green fields that stretched out as far as the eye could see. Tall grasses waving against a breeze. Blaze stood before a kind of wooden gate, grinning like an idiot.

"You could have warned me you were going to do that," the reporter grumbled. "Where are we, anyway?"

"Elysium," Blaze said. She still held onto the reporter's wrist with one hand, and with the other swung open the gate. "The home of the virtuous dead, and the only afterlife in all the worlds with a very special puppy farm..."

To be a reporter requires empathy. Hard as Lois Lane might have to harden her heart against tears and outrage, as resilient as she had to be to follow through on reporting a disaster without breaking down, to cover an atrocity without her professional facade breaking, yet she was still very human. It would have taken a much more heartless person than her to remain stone-faced as a gaggle of three-headed Cerberus puppies came bounding across the length of the enclosure, tails wagging, tongues lolling eyes wide and joyful...and as they rushed over her and bore her to the ground, licking and sniffing and yapping, Lois could not keep a grin off her face.

She laughed and rolled with them, hands scratching at ears, and never enough hands. The mother...a great grey creature the size of a Clydesdale horse, somber and magnificent, with heads like pitbulls atop long, lean, greyhound-like necks, watched from a shady spot. Blaze was running her fingers along the dog's flanks, undoing a knot of hair in the shaggy mane that hung from its necks. After a long while, panting and exhausted, Lois pulled away from her playmates...and Blaze returned the reporter's grin.

"That," Lois said, with utter seriousness. "Was cheating."

The demon crinkled her nose.

"Maybe a little. Still, a deal's a deal."

"Right, right," Lois said, and despite herself not terribly unpleased at having been outsmarted. "So what else do you have planned for this date?"

The devil grinned. She stopped petting the Cerberus bitch long enough to stretch out her hand.

This time, Lois was ready for the sensation of falling. She kept her eyes on Blaze...the dark eyes in that space pure white, without pupil or iris...and then Lois blinked as she felt stone beneath her feet, smelled something wonderful...

"Buongiorno."

The word snapped Lois back to reality. She found herself standing on an ancient cobbled street, before a door. A waiter in black suit and tie was holding a door open, and Blaze said something to him in Italian. He nodded toward the inside, and Blaze indicated that Lois should go in.

The reporter stepped into a restaurant. Tables, most of them with chairs stacked on them. The waiter or maître d' or whatever he was closed the door behind them and guided them through the empty restaurant to a balcony, where a single table was set for two...and gave a stunning view of a mountain.

"Mount Etna," Blaze said, as she circled the table to her chair. "Once thought to be one of the gates of Hell. I always thought it was very pretty."

"We're in Sicily?" Lois said, seating herself. There was no menu to order off of. A boy came by with a carafe of ice water, and filled two glasses. There were also wine glasses, as yet untouched, and the reporter's stomach growled as she smelled food cooking.

"The owner is an old...client of mine," Blaze gave a little smile. "He expected to pay off his debt to me another way, but instead I asked if he could prepare us a small, intimate meal. Good food, good scenery...good company."

"What kind of deal?" Lois said, curious despite herself.

Which was all the lead-in that was necessary for what turned into an absorbing conversation on the business of hell. Blaze had a way of dropping little leads that suggested questions, and the reporter couldn't help asking those questions. They talked until the food arrived...a light salad, fresh and crisp, covered with some grated, crumbly, strong-smelling cheese, and then a bowl of thick soup in a bread bowl, and for an entre a cut of veal with capers...wines came and went, though Lois only sipped a little, to enjoy the pairing. Dessert was a kind of gelato, tart and sweet at once, and when Lois sat back to look at the mountain, she found herself...very contented.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd eaten so well.

"You're not getting back in my pants tonight," Lois said.

"On the first date? Wouldn't think of it." Blaze said.

Something about that bothered Lois. She knew what the demon wanted...really wanted. All of this was Blaze being nice, and it was lovely, but the reporter couldn't let herself forget that it was all in service of getting back into her pants...and the why of that was something that ate at her.

"I have a condition," she said. "If we are going on a second date."

"Alright."

"Any question I answer, you have to answer truthfully. No lies, or all of this is over."

Blaze turned to her. Her eyes were pure white again. "Would you bind yourself to the same rule?"

"Of course."

"Then it's a deal."

Blaze reached across the table, as if to shake on it. Without thinking, Lois grasped her hand...and was falling, again, through that darkness between the worlds. When they "landed," she found herself sitting on a stone bench in some kind of plaza before a Chinese-style gate.

"Where are we now?" The reporter asked.

"Fengdu Ghost City," the demon said. She was still holding the reporter's hand. "A dense collection of shrines, temples, and monuments. The Taoists think that this is a gateway to hell too. In a certain interpretation. I thought you might like to explore...do the tourist bit. Nothing too rigorous. Let our food settle as we stroll."

So they did. Lois let the dickgirl hold her hand. They were not the only ones there, but Blaze steered them away from the other tourist groups, and they walked through the rows and paths, admiring the strange architecture, the shrines used and unused, the statues and dioramas of damned souls and demons, or whatever they were. They walked in silence for a long while, as the sun slid down...and at last Blaze spoke aloud, as to herself.

"There can be beauty for Hell, if you look for it," she said, fingers squeezing softly.

Impulse struck Lois Lane then.

"Why do you even want to be my girlfriend?"

The demon sighed.

"I've fucked thousands of women. I thought you would be no different. I was wrong. When you had fallen asleep in my arms, your cunt full of my cum...I imagined never knowing the feeling of that again. That was the first time I truly felt damned. I don't know what love is, Lois. I have never been in love. I don't know if I'm capable of it. But I think...perhaps...I might love you. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes."

A step through the darkness...and they were at her apartment door.

"Next time," the demon said, with that damn Mona Lisa smile. "Do you want to do something romantic...or adventurous?"

Lois Lane clenched her jaw. Impulse struck her as she darted forward, and pressed her lips against Blaze's...and then pulled away, before the demon could even taste her lips.

"I'll let you choose."

The door slammed, and Lois sank down against it. Blaze was much more dangerous than she had thought.