Endgame, Part 1: Moments and Montages

Tina

Tina finds herself in a plain room with white walls. The only things inside is a copy of Harper’s throne and a little kneeling bench. The door behind her disappears.

“Okay, now what?”

The walls light up with images of her time in the Hotel. Her introduction. Turning into a bunny-girl and losing her bikini bottom at the opening ceremony. Bouncing to victory in that first mini-challenge. Eating that terrible steak dinner from the 100 Grand. Filming Insta-Thot videos. Being tied up in the recovery room. Dancing with Harper in the Master Suite. Scoring the winning point at Succu-balls. Being **** with Harper in the Bunny House guest room. Forgetting English for a bit. Little moments with Josie and Scarlet and Daphne and the others. Tina starts to tear up a little.

Then Harper appears, sitting on her throne. She smiles, especially when Tina ignores the little kneeling bench and bounds directly into Harper’s lap.

“My bonny bunny, I’ve missed you. It’s like I’ve barely seen you since Scarlet’s date.” She pauses long enough to give Tina a chaste kiss on the lips, “I need you to know that I love you and I know you can handle anything Beckie throws your way. I just need you to be brave, Tina. You are my favorite bunny in the whole wide multiverse and you are going to rock this. Now, ready for one last level-up?”

Tina gets a couple more sorceress levels. The Sixth Level spells she could pick are mostly defensive (and her bonus sorceress spells basically require her to double dip with Glitterdust). She grabs the Spell Sniper feat mostly for the range extension, grabbing Eldritch Blast (best attack cantrip in the game, if you can somehow build up the ability to crit on spell attacks on a semi-regular basis) in the process. Still, Tina is happy with her choices.

A door opens behind the bench, and Tina, feeling a little bit less nervous, walks through and enters it. She finds herself back inside the backstage of the Silver Dollar Theater, specifically in the dressing room of the magician’s assistant. Same dingy lighting, half burnt out and buzzing, definitely a fire hazard if Gamblin’ cared about such things. Same smell of cheap booze, cheap cigars, and mothballs. Same chintzy cheap costumes that are held together by fabric glue and determined **** of will.

What is different, of course is the dove-headed floozy with tits twice as big as Tina’s head. Tina screams, “Don’t eat my soul, you feathered devil!”

And the floozy looks just as terrified, as it coos, “No, YOU don’t eat MY soul, you long-eared demon!”

Scarlet

Scarlet watches her montage feeling mildly embarrassed by it. Her introduction. Acting like an idiot immediately after having her brain locked down. Burning the T-shirts on the beach, experiencing Cayenne, trying to kill Daphne, fucking Francis in the shower, making Francis into Harper, saving her parents (twice), getting shot, dancing with Daphne, and so many strip teases.

She feels Harper wrap her arms around her before she sees her. Before she hears her say “One.”

“What, love?”

“Our scale about my mental distress. I’m not worried. I know my beautiful fiancé will succeed. I got you something, as promised.”

Harper clasps a stunning festoon necklace made of rubies, mithril, and a centerpiece onyx polished to gleaming the size of Scarlet’s thumb.

“The fading human thinks engagement rings are so gauche. And this piece will fade because it’s from my wardrobe. But, if it is to your liking, I will commission it to be made for real.”

“It’s beautiful but I was just…”

“Nope. None of that, my love. If I think you are making a reasonable request, I will do my best to fulfill it. And asking for something to denote our engagement was a reasonable request. Now, I love you. Let’s get you leveled up so you can go knock whatever obstacle Beckie put up for you dead.”

Two more monk levels, but this time, Scarlet gets useful features. She can now revive the recently dead with her Pulse of Pleasure. She can also spend ki to turn herself invisible for a minute and cast astral projection. The extra HP, Ki points, martial damage, and unarmored movement speed are also appreciated.

Scarlet sees the door open and runs through it. She was expecting a fight on the other side; she didn’t get it. Instead, she finds herself in what she would assume an experiment surgical bay from a cheesy movie would look like in reality. A voice squawks over a PA system, “You should have came with me when I offered, Scarlet. Look at the horror that man did to you. I will save you from him yet.”

Heidi?

Skye

When Skye enters the white room, she immediately finds herself on the kneeling bench, facing away from the copy of Harper’s throne. She starts to pray, a war chant to The Lady. A prayer for protection for her and her family against the forces of darkness aligned against them.

So, she doesn’t watch the summary. The warm ivory skinned girl’s introduction, her early mortification at the indecency of clothing around her, playing for her future lady love on their first date, her passing out during the first challenge, her secret wedding plans, stabbing through Harper’s heart at their wedding, losing their virginities together in their wedding bed, watching Harper be imbued with the presence of The Lady, saving her community, saving that mining community, so many scenes of rope tying and forging and cooking and all of the other little things she did for her new family. Her found home in the arms of her lady loves.

So, she feels Harper appear, kneeling beside her first. Then she hears her wife, her first lady love, harmonize Skye’s prayer with a descant. Harper’s voice is beautiful, perfected. Skye feels a little small in comparison. The prayer chant ends; Harper sighs and turns to smile.

“My lovely little drow wife, we sound so beautiful together.”

Skye starts to stutter out a denial, how her voice is too deep to be pretty, only for Harper to kiss her complaints away, “I was a bass II, Skye; I like the lower register. And we pair well together; you cover the melody and I handle the rest. Think I could make Tina sound so good?”

Skye giggles at the thought, despite herself.

“So, my lovely wife, I know you have this. You are strong, sure-footed, dependable. I know you will return to me safe and sound. One last leveling, then I will leave you to it.”

Skye takes two more rouge levels. Evasion is always appreciated. For a feat, she takes Shadow Touched to boost her intelligence and get a free cast of Invisibility. Being able to have a source of invisibility while scouting no matter what the conditions are is helpful.

Skye, heart full of love and determination, strides through the door when it appears. She finds herself in an alleyway, shrouded in darkness. A starless sky above. She hears the stomping of soldiers, a singular torch between them illuminating the night.

Skye hears them chant, in poorly pronounced Elvish, “<Mistress Kimura demands the head of the impostor. The one who brings the Mistress the impostor’s head will experience being unlocked for an hour.>”

Her? Evil Skye from the first challenge? How am I supposed to beat her?

Josie

Watching the tape roll in her white staging room, Josie is surprised at just how badly she played the game. Sure, she won every challenge but the dumb jumping one, but she feels like she missed the point.

The walls play the scenes. Her introduction. Cumming on the opening ceremony stage to the harpy’s bony fingered slap. Sneaking away in shame in the early morning of her first date. Cumming from Calypso slapping her abs during the first challenge. Pegging Francis on her second date, oblivious to how much he was just suffering through it. Fighting that slime with Skye. Realizing how disappointed Harper was with her water heater transformation during the second challenge. Hurting Tina so badly at the last party. Plotting to seduce Glitter against Harper’s wishes. Scheming to seduce Honey against Harper’s wishes. Plowing Harper last night. So many scenes of seducing Tina and Scarlet and even the Fish. So comparatively few with the old lady.

“Wow. I am a real shitty girl for the old lady, huh?” Josie asks the empty room.

Only the room isn’t empty. Harper sits on her throne, quietly watching, waiting. “I love you, Josie, despite your flaws. I hope you love me despite mine. Come here.”

Josie turns and walks over, eyes level with the sitting elf. “But it seems that every real interaction with me was bad.”

“We had good moments. Good times. Remember that club fight you set up with Tina as a super villain? That was good. And so was that impromptu cunnilingus challenge thing we did on our date yesterday. We can work together as a couple, Josie. I want that, at least; I hope you do too. Once you finish kicking ass in this last challenge, we’ll have the time to do so. It will take work, though, on both of us. You want to go rougher on the sex toys than I like, for example. So, don’t doubt how much I care about you. Go on and win.”

Josie’s brokenness continues as she hits the level cap. She takes the Durable feat to max out her endurance (with a slight improvement to her short rest healing ability). Then, the berserker capstone removes her need to spend bloodlust points to slip into bloodlust (though she does need it for her Infectious Fury feature) while increasing the strength and endurance modifiers and caps by 1. So, Josie now has a +4 to strength and a +5 to endurance. She has 260 HP.

The door appears and Josie keeps moving. When she’s past it, she finds herself in a dark forest. A strange tune floats in the air, something like a remix of the theme from the All Hallows Eve movie series (those slasher flicks featuring Mikaela Mayos) and another tune Josie doesn’t recognize. She smells the foes before she sees them. Wolves. She is getting to fight wolves. Funny.

Bloodlust rising, claws out, she pounces on the first wolf she sees, which is as big as a horse. Fuck yeah. This is gonna be something I can do.

Daphne

Oooooh, a montage!

Daphne watches the white room screens with interest. Her talks and blow jobs from when her Beloved was just a friendly semen source. Her fight with Scarlet that led to her joining the harem. Her confused struggle against the frenzy. Trying Honey Ginger Salmon ice cream for the first time. Solving the fight between Dinah and Scarlet. Detective Daphne deducing Dinah’s distress. Falling asleep with a belly full of crab cake at Skye’s wedding. Changing the trajectory of her entire frenzy with the cool gun. Making out with Harper during Tina’s date. Going out with Scarlet on their date. Turning into a cool giant shark to get away from the Kraken. Finding out that Doggy(fish) style is fun on her date. So many little shots of being confused by human food and riding sex machines.

Daphne hears a splash. Looks like Harper swapped out the regular throne for a jacuzzi one. Daphne happily splashes in and nuzzles her Beloved.

“My beloved mermaid, how are you?” Harper gives Daphne a kiss on the forehead.

“Uhm, I’m doing pretty good. Looking forward to spending time with Mommy once the show is over. Looking even more forward to spending time with you once the show is over.”

“Me too, Daph, me too. I know you are going to outsmart this. I believe in you, love. Anything you need from me?”

Daphne is really close to getting to Level 19, so Harper gives her enough XP to get there.

Daphne: +8 XP

Four wizard levels mean 2 feats and spell mastery. It seems Spell Sniper is popular today, as Daphne grabs it with Shocking Grasp. Harper also crafts a custom feat to grant her some additional mermaid spells. One free cast of a spell like Cone of Cold is pretty good. Daphne also gets a whole slew of spells, including the silly powerful ninth level transmutation spells.

When the door appears, Harper scoops Daphne up out of the water and just holds her until the mermaid’s weird human legs reform, whispering little nothings and offering little kisses, just spending a few more moments together. Once Daphne can walk, she walks in.

Daphne hears a vaguely familiar tune being piped in the air. Where have I heard this? She looks around. Daphne sees a couple of mermaids with some pickaxes just floating around, a bunch of sparkly crystals, and some sparkly pink gas squirting out of the ground. Daphne is kind of confused.

Helpfully, an announcer of a sort kind of answers the question Daphne doesn’t know exactly how to phrase. “Custom Skins Enabled! In the blue team, we have the Immortal Empress of Earth 2467RTS15, PenGwen Frostqueen! With a combined record of 9853 – 112 – 46, she is the most winning Empress in Spacecraft History! In the purple team, we have some newb scrub named Daphne. With a record of 0 – 0 – 0, she hasn’t even completed the tutorial! This should be quick! And fight!”

“Wait, how do I play this thing? Also, what’s Spacecraft? Is that the game Irene plays? Help!”

Aelene

Aelene watches her assembled montage of clips. The shameful fight she had with Lady Harper when she first arrived. Lady Harper saving her from that clit ring and becoming her betrothed adopted sister in exchange. Losing her virginity in such an embarrassingly public way. Falling in love with Lady Skye, despite all of the rope shenanigans. Slaying the harpy queen with one blow. Dancing with Lady Harper in the academy ballroom. So many critical hits, so many little moments with Lady Skye. A surprising number of swimming lessons.

To see the week summed up so vividly makes Aelene strangely nostalgic, equally determined to win, to embrace her loves on the other side. She feels a tad guilty that Lady Harper is more her second love than her first, but she now knows that her heart is big enough for both.

So, she is able to smile as Lady Harper appears on her throne. Aelene genuflects, like a soldier properly should to her queen.

“Aelene, none of that. Rise. Come here.”

“You need remediation, Lady Harper,” Aelene says as she complies, “the court will eat you alive if you show that little regard to protocol.”

Lady Harper leans forward, holding onto Aelene’s chin. “When I am dealing with the court, I will follow those rules of you to a ‘T’, love, but it’s just us right now. I ask that you tolerate my casual approach. We are to be wed as soon as circumstances allow and it’s not just about politics. It’s about us, about the love we have for each other. So, I know you are going to do amazing in there. Need anything before you go?”

“My levels, if you please, Lady Harper. And, you have that XP from Daphne’s date. I want enough of it to reach the level cap. You made a promise that I could get there without the edging transformation and I expect you to fulfill it. I am so close.”

Lady Harper pulls out her DM tablet. “Of course, my love. Though, you must admit you had way more fun with what I wrote for you instead.”

Aelene blushes. She did come to enjoy her vorpal sword. Still the XP is given and the levels applied.

Aelene: +24 XP

Aelene gets 3 levels. She can now make 2 reflections (which makes Ultimate Self-cest more interesting, in addition to Aelene becoming a one-woman front line). She grabs Great Weapon Master as a feat, more for the bonus action attack than the “take a trickier hit to deal more damage if one succeeds” portion of the feature. Then, she hit 200 HP and gets four attacks per Attack action. That’s four chances to search for a Vorpal Blade critical hit, before you start throwing in Action Surges. Not as broken as Josie, but still broken with a Vorpal Blade equipped.

When the door appears, Aelene walks through it, ready for a fight. What she saw instead was her personal maid, stripped bare and leashed to a post in the center of a dressing room, with enough links in the chain to let her walk most of the way to the walls. The elderly hoppalong looks distressed.

“Ms. Cottoncrotch, what are you doing here?”

The bunny maid, ears drooping with shame, hangs her head low. Her speech sounds ****, “This one has been ordered to inform you that Lady Phaedra, Crown Princess of Nimlith Grove and future mistress on Harem Hotel, has challenged you to a runway off for family supremacy. This one is to prepare you to lose.”

My own sister, betraying our family to work with that fiend Beckie? This will not stand!

Mattie

I’m in the lead! Hooah!

Mattie is ecstatic that she’s on the top of the leaderboard for once in the months and months of being on Harem Hotel. First season, she hovered barely above elimination the whole time. Now, at least for a brief moment, she’s on top. Sarge is honestly the love of her life; Mattie never thought she’d find real love in the first place.

Her montage plays and Mattie watches it. She expects the others have longer ones, but that’s okay. She still had some cool and sexy moments. That amazing sniper shot from the last challenge. Riding the Sybian with Sarge. Being plowed by Sparkles tail. The clusterfuck stealth mission with Mrs. Skye that somehow worked out in the end. Being tied up by Mrs. Skye. Her little contests during her singular date on this season. The spaceflight. The night of debauchery with Sarge at the end. A surprisingly helpful therapy session with Red and Sparkles. So many exploded coconuts, so many critical hits.

When Sarge appears, Mattie turns around and winks. “Hey, Sarge.”

“Hey, Cap’n. Congrats.”

Mattie sashays over and wraps Sarge in a hug. “Thanks, Sarge. It means a lot.”

“I love you, Matilda. I am so glad that we had a chance to try this for real, even if the circumstances weren’t the best. I’m sure you’ll do great and, once we get everything done, we’ll have more time together. I kind of feel like you and Aelene got the short end of the stick. Ready to level?”

“Actually, Sarge, I got a cool new magic item I wanna equip. You have some XP to hand out that you haven’t used. Can you get me just 1 more level? It’ll be fun, for both of us!”

Sarge rolls her eyes while smiling. “Fine. Give me a moment to check.” After a quick tablet check, Sarge hands out some XP, then starts to level the astral elf.

Mattie: +23 XP

Mattie gets 3 levels. She’s already attuning her “cutie mark” tattoo, as she can now equip 5 magic items (and can ignore many types of requirements for attuning magic items). She also picks up the Sharpshooter feat, which improves her accuracy at more difficult positions, plus the ranged weapon equivalent of the “take a trickier hit to deal more damage if one succeeds” from Great Weapon Master. Finally, she picks up 4th Level spells. Mattie giggles as a star enclosed heart appears on her right butt cheek.

By the time the door appears, Mattie is already bending over. “Hey, Sarge, wanna give me a swat for good luck?”

Harper rolls her eyes and gives Mattie a good spank right on the cutie mark. Oooooh, that felt good!

Mattie struts over to the door and opens it to see what looks like a Call of Honor or Medal of Duty map. Everything is very beige. Mattie has a decent line of sight to the opposite side of the map, as she spawned in the middle of a big highway that cuts across a deserted urban landscape. On the far end? So many soldiers. A couple of tanks. And a helicopter.

A shrill squeaky voice squawks on a megaphone, one that makes Mattie’s blood boil, “You worthless slut! All you had to do was consent to me dicking you down and I would have won before that last challenge, but noooooooo, you had to make me use your CQC transformations to get my rocks off. Now, I’m stuck in Hotel extra hell and it’s your fault! When my side wins this, I am going to make you suffer!”

A deep-voiced announcer declares, “Archenemy!”

A countdown starts. Mattie dives for the nearest bit of cover. The soldier is already starting to hide by the time the bells end and the announcer declares, “Fight!”

Harper

Harper’s head hurts. Being split into eight different perspectives at once and then merge them back together is a little discombobulating. Still Honey is buzzing up to the top of the dais. “Are you still functional, Mate?”

“I’m a little headachy, but I’ll be fine. How about you three?” Harper hops down, tired of looming over her companions.

“A little confused, Mistress.” Nyadia offers, “What has been described is not typically how the family friendly Harem Hotel shows end. Usually, its a challenge to show who has ultimate devotion to the Mistress, not a thing designed to tear the Harem apart.”

“Let’s just say our first host is a lazy bitch that is taking the consequences of her hubris out on us. But, we’re going to get through this together. Honey, Glitter, how we feeling?”

“I am prepared, or as prepared as I can be, Mate.” Honey’s deadpan drone is comforting in its consistency.

“MY Harper, I am ready to show you how powerful and sexy of a dragon I am.”

Tablet out, Harper gets ready to level her remaining girls. Glitter goes first, taking the Inspiring Leader feat and a couple of Level 9 cleric spells to finish off her spell list. Glitter starts an inspiring speech about the joys of not being gross boys that Harper tunes out. She will get credit for listening in anyways.

Honey gets 3 druid levels. She picks up the mostly useless Nature’s Ward ability, 6th level spells, and the thrown weapon fighting style via the Fighting Initiate feat. It’s a little odd, but, once Honey shows off her new javelin, it makes a kind of sense. Being able to use her wasp venom at a distance is pretty good.

Nyadia is close to getting Level 12, so, Harper gives her what should be the excess XP she has yet to distribute.

Nyadia: +5 XP

Nyadia goes from Level 5 to Level 12, with her old oath to Eilistraee restored. She starts to generate her aura effects, picks up a stronger smite, gets 3rd level spells, and grabs both the Crusher and Shield Master feats.

Harper would have liked to get both Honey and Nyadia higher level, but she has her own levels to worry about. With both Josie and Aelene at level 20, Harper’s level cap is now Level 22. And she is spending the XP needed to get her all the way there. Hopefully, I can get enough XP to get Honey and Nyadia caught up soon.

Harper: +12 XP

Two levels of wizard, two levels of fighter, getting up to Level 22. The sensation of leveling felt different when she bumped herself up to Level 21, like Harper broke reality. Her spell selection was low level utility spells. She needed good spells for the signature spell capstone. She also grabbed the Mobile feat; more speed and some free attack of opportunity avoidance are appreciated. Early level fighter features are nice: some bonus armor for wearing her sexy mithril boots, an emergency temporary hp heal, and action surge. She’s not likely to dip past Level 4 in fighter (she wants her feat and epic boon), but getting 2 actions in a pinch is powerful.

Harper focuses to turn on the battlemap. She sees 8 minimaps. One with Honey, Glitter, Nyadia, and herself. One for each of the other girls. Tina is panicking, but in an overtly labeled non-combat scenario. Scarlet is safe for now. Skye is in a stealth mission; best to let her do it until it falls apart. Josie is in combat with dire wolves, which she should be able to handle alone. Daphne is panicking and idling on a Spacecraft PvP map? Aelene is in another overtly labeled non-combat scenario, which is super weird. Mattie is in a silly amount of danger in what looks to be a 1v100 first-person shooter arena, but is calmly handling it.

Picking up 3 copyright respecting distinct facsimiles of Pokeballs, Harper knows where she needs to begin.