Employee Handbook for Club VooDoo

*What the hell? How did I get an internship at the strip club where they sacrifice livestock every hour an a simulated voodoo ritual? I know I didn't interview with this company. I don't think they were one of the businesses that contributed to the fund. What the hell am I going to do there? I'm still not old enough to serve liquor until July, nor knowledgeable enough to fake a voodoo ritual, big enough to be a bouncer and although I got hit on a dew times at the costume party dressed up as a cheerleader from my old high school, it was 90% about how drunk those guys were and 10% how feminine I looked, which was thanks to my sister Annabelle's makeup skills, not because I'm hot enough to be a Voodoo Stripper naturally, or a Club Dregs Stripper for that matter. Oh here's a letter...*