Emma Tran, PhD Candidate- Bimbo Deck

The lights in the library buzzed unhappily as Emma tried to get her research finished. The library was mostly empty at this time of night so it was even quieter than normal. She slumped against the desk and considered just passing out right then and there. The librarians knew her—they probably wouldn’t kick her out.

No if she did that then she couldn’t use the library as a back up for when she eventually got kicked out of her shitty apartment.

Her phone suddenly dinged, new email. She pulled it out to check, it was from the grant approval committee. For a moment she allowed herself to hope but then her quickly scanning eyes parsed the text.

“...excellent proposal. Unfortunately, the committee received many excellent proposals. We wish you luck in finding funding elsewhere but cannot move forward with your study at this time.”

She would tear her hair out but what would that do aside from hurt her head. She sighed and started flicking through her email to distract her from the textbook in front of her. Job rejection, job rejection, emergency student aid rejection, job rejection. Her parents wouldn’t help her anymore, they had made it very clear that now that she was an adult they expected her to carry her own weight.

Sighing, she opened her banking app. $143 in checking, nothing in savings. Her landlord wanted $850 for rent by the end of the week, not something she could afford. Maybe she should just give this up, wait a few years to get her doctorate. She then looked at the giant pile of books in front of her. Not likely, she had put too much work into this to give up halfway through. Sighing she put her phone away and opened a book back up.

She flipped through for another hour scrawling down notes when the sound of conversation distracted her. She looked up and saw two young women, both obviously undergrads quite possibly freshmen walking through the common area.

She then did a double take as she saw how they were dressed, one looked like a stereotypical goth with the dark eyeliner and fishnets while her friend looked almost the exact opposite wearing a frilly blue dress with a pink bow in her hair.

The goth spoke first and Emma could hear a bit of their conversation. “Yeah, I got $200 and my skin looks so nice, not to mention these amazing new clothes.”

“That’s nothing Melarra offered me $400 to level up my skin changes to 3. It’s a bit annoying to maintain but look how smooth it is.” said the one in the bow.

Emma could tell even from a distance that the undergrad had disturbingly smooth skin; it looked like a porcelain doll. Shaking her head she refocused on her research or tried to. After about a half hour of reading the same page over and over she accepted that her night was over and she needed to get home.

During the walk to her car and the drive to her apartment one word kept echoing in her head “Melarra” who was that and why was she offering random coeds so much money to, as far as she could tell, do dress up and help with skincare routines.

She shook her head trying to clear it but it was useless. By the time she got into her creaky bed she needed answers. Pulling her phone back out she tried googling “Melarra” but all that came up were some Game of Thrones and Star Wars wikis. She then tried “Melarra Money” a number of italian looking linkedin pages came up but additionally she saw a reddit board she had never heard of r/MelarraConfessions.

She clicked on it and was flooded by stories of people who had met a witch named Melarra who offered them money in exchange for magically transforming their bodies and minds. The threads were uniformly positive each one talking about how much better there life was now:

“I don’t stress about work anymore and have a big strong man to protect me.”

“I found my true calling wasn’t sitting at a desk but kneeling under it.”

“My new master treats me so well, I never knew the joy of service until I met Melarra.”

Clicking on any brought up some quite explicit stories of transformation and body modification. Emma clicked the thread rules and the first one said that any fake stories would result in punishment which was oddly vague. She clicked around and despite the outlandish stories there didn’t seem to be anyone calling bull on them.

Was it maybe some game where people just acted out their fetish and pretended a witch was doing it to them? She thought, continuing to examine the posts when the hairs stood up on the back of her neck, she could feel it, she wasn’t alone in the room anymore.

She flipped over expecting to see some murderer or even worse, her creepy ass landlord but instead it was a woman sitting calmly in her desk chair with a little smile. The woman was dressed exactly like a witch: pointy hat, black robes but her skin was flawless porcelain not green and warty. Her large breasts were displayed by her sheer dress. “So did you enjoy reading about the many people I’ve helped find their true selves?” the witch asked with a chuckle.

“You’re Melarra?” Emma ventured.

“Oh you have such a good brain Ms. Tran that is correct. I am the mighty Melarra and I am here to make you an offer.” With a flourish a deck of large tarot cards appeared in her hands, on it was a beautiful large breasted woman in pink. “This is the deck for you my dear and if you draw your first card from it I will give you $100 right now no questions asked.”

“That looks like a bimbo, if you really are magic I don’t think I want to be some air headed slut.” Emma said hesitantly, that $100 could be really useful.

“Oh of course you think that now dear but I can see into your mind, into your deepest desires so I know, this is the deck you want, but I’ll even sweeten the offer for you, I promise the first 5 cards will have no impact on your intelligence.” The witch smiled again and Emma had to admit it was tempting, an easy way to make money without having to beg and scrape for anyone.

Before her nerve could break she reached out and snatched a card

LIKE, TOTALLY: Emma’s speech will begin to include regular “likes” and “OMGs”.

Before she could react her phone pinged. It was her banking app, $100 had just been deposited in her account “OMG, it like, really worked!” She said with a happy squeal before she heard herself and shot a hand over her mouth.

“That it did darling. I’ve texted you the rules and the price chart so just reply if you need some cash. Oh and be on the lookout for special offers and challenges.” With that the witch vanished into a pink puff of smoke leaving Emma sitting there unsure what to do next. She then looked at her phone. The witch’s text was right where she said it would be, and she did need $607 more bucks by the end of the week. Maybe she should indulge in this game, just a little.

Current Money: $243

Current Cards:

LIKE, TOTALLY: Emma’s speech will begin to include regular “likes” and “OMGs”.