Eat another nut.

Hermione needed to think.

She was sitting in the middle of the crowded Great Hall, along one of the packed benches, in the middle of the yearly Sorting. She couldn't exactly get up and walk away. Everyone would notice if she fled the hall before the Sorting was over. Which wouldn't be so bad, except that she was nude below the waist - wearing nothing but her cardigan, shirt and tie beneath her flowing black robes. She tried to tug her robes down some more. There was nothing she could do to prevent people seeing her from the front, except keep her legs closed, but if she could get the robes down over her bottom she could at least make sure -

Wait. Where were her robes?

The third chocolate-covered nut crunched between her teeth. At least the snacks were delicious. How thoughtful of that boy on the train to get her such a nice present. But now she'd eaten three nuts, and three items of clothing had disappeared, and she was stuck in the middle of the hall with no pants on, and people were starting to look, and... hey, wait a minute.

She patted herself down. Her robes were definitely no longer there. And the students across the table from her were giggling to each other, whispering into each others' ears and glancing at her out of the corners of their eyes. She gave them a frosty stare, which only made them giggle even more, and tried to pull her cardigan down between her legs. Of course, this just made it ride up behind, giving the new boy passing behind her a peek at her perfectly-rounded buttocks, flattened against the wood of the chair.

She stifled a squawk and squirmed uncomfortably, feeling more and more eyes on her posterior. Word was spreading. More and more people were becoming aware that the famous Hermione Granger was missing something very important. And there was nowhere to run to. If she didn't work something out soon, everyone in Hogwarts was going to start swinging by to take a look at the heroine's bare bottom. She'd have to sit there and take it. It didn't bear thinking about.

She took another look at the nuts. That boy on the train had well and truly pranked her, she had to admit. But maybe there was some way she could use it to her advantage.