Ear to the Door, Heart to the Floor

Indira pressed her ear against the door, hardly daring to breathe.

Donna was here. Donna. She'd known it from the moment she heard that confident tone at the front door, filling up the apartment like perfume. After an afternoon of feeling abandoned, hopeless, despairing, Donna's voice made her feel lighter. But then—then—Donna introduced Joey to Indira's mother.

Joey.

Her heart had jolted so hard she almost yelped. Joey! Her man. Her love. Her rescuer.

He was here. For her!

She could picture it already—him standing in the living room, handsome and unshakable, saying exactly the words that would free her from her mother's suffocating grip.

But how?

It was amazing how quickly things could change. Just a few days ago, Indira had considered her mother to be her biggest supporter, encouraging her to achieve greatness, pushing her to try harder. But now, Indira could see the truth of the matter. Her mother could be awful. Sure, Indira knew her mother loved her—but it wasn't the right kind of love. It wasn't the kind that valued what was actually important in Indira's life, the kind that could see the woman Indira was becoming.

All the changes she'd gone through that weekend, all the truths she had come to realize, Indira didn't feel like Neha Patel's little girl anymore. Indira was a woman in love, a member of a sorority of sisters who had come to fall for the same amazing man, supporting each other in their pursuit of his affection.

Indira's mother would never understand.

And so she sat in her room, bitter at her situation, allowing hatred for her mother to seep into her heart, something she'd never done before. It felt cold, hard, but she welcomed the feeling. Indira's mother was keeping her from Joey, and that was unacceptable. A crime against the heart. A mean, pointless exercise that would only serve to sever the relationship that had been strong for all their years.

But if Indira had to pick between her mother and Joey, she would pick Joey.

In a heartbeat.

The conversation was getting heated. Donna had quit speaking, but Indira's mother was getting louder and louder. She cracked her door open, listening to the words spill out of her mother.

And then, his voice speaking directly into Indira's heart, Joey's voice filled the air.

"Um... actually... my mother is an ideal mother. Anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot. And Indira is an adult. She should get to make her own decisions about her future. Yes, she's a good girl. But if she wants to become a dropout, or a bimbo, or spend her nights in a boy's bedroom… that's up to her. Not you."

Indira staggered backward for a moment, like the wind had been knocked out of her. Her man, her love, had stood up for her. Yes, She wasn't sure she agreed with what he’d said, whether or not he'd be able to back it up, but he had stood up to Indira's mother, and that was no easy feat.

Still... the words seemed to rattle around in her head.

"My mother is an ideal mother."

Staring through the crack in the door, she compared the two women at the table. On one side was the woman who had raised her, a strong-minded, stubborn, traditional woman. On the other was Donna Granger, Joey and Juniper's mother. The more she looked, the more it became clear. It wasn't just because she was mad at her mother. It wasn't even that Donna was a woman of means, living in comfort and privilege that had always seemed so distant to Indira. It was, in fact, that as the young girl compared the two, one was the picture of matronly perfection and the other was obviously lacking.

How could Indira have ever thought of her own mother as adequate? Yes, the woman had gotten her through her childhood, but now that Indira was an adult, staring down the barrel of the rest of her life, she found herself ill-prepared. Nothing her mother had ever told her had given her the tools for how to take care of Joey Granger, how to be in a relationship that allowed Joey to have multiple partners, to use her sexuality to keep from being lost in the crowd. All her mother ever did was encourage her to study hard, get a career, and believe in herself. All of that was useless. What she needed was someone like Donna, someone who understood her body, understood her man, and would do whatever it took to make sure she was on the top of his list.

Now that was a mother.

"Anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot."

Already her mother had proven herself to be slow to the uptake. Having seen Indira at the Grangers' house, dressed in a manner that had taken the young woman a long time to build up the courage to wear, the only thing Indira's mother did was berate her.

Then to have Donna Granger go out of her way to make amends, showing up at their squalid apartment, gracing it with her presence, and bringing Joey with her, only to be met with the same vitriol that Indira herself had been given. It was disgraceful. No.

It was stupid.

Indira's mother couldn't see what kind of favour Donna Granger was doing for their family. She was stepping in as a last resort, trying to fill in the gaps of Indira's upbringing, showing her how to be a woman.

"And Indira is an adult. She should get to make her own decisions about her future. Yes, she's a good girl. But if she wants to become a dropout, or a bimbo, or spend her nights in a boy's bedroom… that's up to her. Not you."

Yes. Yes. The words bloomed inside her. She didn't need permission. She didn't need approval. She was old enough to choose. It all made so much sense! Indira's priorities had been all wrong. She loved Joey Granger. That she knew. So what if she had a career? So what if she never finished high school? What was important was her man's affection.

All those years in a classroom with him, ignoring him. Time wasted. If only she'd known then what she knew now. Indira had no idea what kind of woman he wanted! Did he want a career-driven woman? Did he want someone to stay home and raise babies? Did he want a bimbo with nothing but sex on her mind? She would need to find out.

But really, it didn't matter. Whatever he wanted, she would do it. She was head-over-heels in love with him, and she wasn't waiting for her mother's permission anymore. No, Indira was choosing Joey. He was her life now. He was her goal, her ambition, her north star.

The door seemed to vibrate as the hand holding it began to tremble. It was like a religious awakening, realizing how much she wanted, how much she needed her man. And how much she had been holding herself back. Indira had blamed her mother, but her mother was too stupid to stop her, if she really thought about it. The real person to blame was herself. She was an adult, and she could choose to be with Joey if she wanted to.

So what was she waiting for?

She could hear her mother’s faint, uncertain voice—different now, softer—and Donna murmuring something back. But Indira's blood was rushing in her ears.

Joey was right there. He noticed her peeking out. Her mouth began to curl up in the corners. How could it not? He was in her home. He was noticing her.

Something inside her snapped free.

She grabbed the handle, flung the door wide, and there he was—sitting in the dining chair her father usually sat in, like it belonged to him, eyes locking on hers instantly.

"Joey!" she cried.

She ran to him, skirt swishing, heart hammering, and threw herself into his lap without hesitation. His arms came up automatically, catching her, and she kissed him hard—fast, hungry, like the hours apart had been years.

She didn't care that her mother was watching.

In fact… she wanted her to.

Maybe she'd finally learn something.