ENF-142 - ARCHITECT

Item #: ENF-142
Object Class: Ishtar

Containment Procedures: All traffic into and out of ENF-142 is to be carefully monitored by Foundation observers. Events taking place within the boundaries of ENF-142 should be tracked and recorded via satellite camera. A full complement of trained Foundation researchers, plus Artemis security team, are to be located on the ground in downtown ENF-142 at all times, reporting back to the Foundation on a daily basis.

Description: ENF-142 is the mid-sized town of [REDACTED], population 170,153, located somewhere along the Pacific coast of the North American continent. For security reasons, its exact location has been withheld.

ENF-142 possesses a number of strange qualities. First, its population is over 70% female, all of them physically attractive and somewhere between the ages of 18 and 40. Second, its police **** is composed entirely of women. Third, despite its small size, it is home to multiple theme parks, sporting arenas, world-class beaches, ski resorts and Michelin star restaurants.

Finally, it is both a city and a lucid dream. The dreamer is a 26-year-old architect named [REDACTED], hereafter referred to as ENF-142-01, and within the limits of ENF-142 he has complete control over reality. He can conjure anything that takes his fancy, and the laws of chance, time, society and physics are subject to his every whim.

ENF-142-01 has no compunction about using this power for his own personal entertainment. Staff assigned to ENF-142 are advised that he is fully aware of their presence, and is likely to make use of them in his amusements. No technique has yet been found to prevent this. Research is ongoing.

Sample Incident Log:

Day 1: ENF-142-01 constructs a perfect, life-size replica of the Taj Mahal from milk chocolate. Dr. Emilia Lucent (temporarily seconded to ENF-142) is invited to sample it, and formally concludes that it is delicious.

Day 3: ENF-142-01 skateboards down side of volcano on outskirts of ENF-142, makes 100-foot jump through ring of fire, is applauded by entire cheerleader team from ENF-142 High. Dr. Lucent's official report describes it as "gnarly".

Day 7: ENF-142-01 spends day working at architecture firm. ENF-142-01's boss, a statuesque brunette, forgets her clothes and unintentionally arrives in the office wearing nothing but lacy black bra and panties. Policy prohibits her redressing.

Day 8: ENF-142-01 makes and eats world's largest cheeseburger, then visits water park with ENF-142 High cheerleading team, all in tiny red bikinis. Dr. Lucent also obliged to wear tiny red bikini. Park invaded by aliens with anti-bikini rays.

Day 10: ENF-142-01's boss is presented with a national award for excellence in architecture, presented before an audience of thousands at the ENF-142 Auditorium. Halfway through her acceptance speech, she discovers that she has once more forgotten her clothes.

Day 11: ENF-142-01 spends day playing video games at the ENF-142 Arcade. Whenever he gets a high score, a member of the ENF-142 High cheerleader team is obliged to remove an article of clothing before performing a dance in his honor.

Day 17: ENF-142 grants himself the power of invisibility, then spends his morning walking up behind policewomen and slapping their bottoms. When Dr. Lucent complains that this is silly, he apologises and promises never to do it again. The evening is spent riding dinosaurs on the moon.

Day 18: Dr. Lucent wakes up as a student in ENF-142 High, which now exactly resembles her own high school, complete with mean cheerleaders and that one cute science teacher she had a crush on. She has forgotten to study for the big test. Also, she has forgotten her clothes.

Day 19: Dr. Lucent lodges a formal protest with ENF-142-01, who listens with interest and swears this will be the last time he makes fun of her. The day is spent in the home theater of his castle, watching Ghostbusters 3 while alien concubines massage their feet.

Day 20: ENF-142-01 hosts a gladiator tournament. Dozens of women, including his boss, Dr. Lucent, the ENF-142 High cheerleader team, Catwoman, and Scarlett Johansson, are transported to a Roman coliseum and made to oil wrestle in tiny red bikinis, the stripped losers being thrown to tentacle monsters in front of all their friends.

Day 26: Dr. Lucent lodges another formal protest. Since she is, at the moment of the protest, strapped to a bench in the dungeons below ENF-142-01's castle, being tickled senseless by Catwoman while Scarlett Johansson sits on her face, ENF-142-01 elects to disregard it.