Dumb shit

You are Goober the monster slayer., a Manly man human in a casual drive around your town. As you drive, you notice that your local McDonald's is looking different today. A big banner hanging outside proclaims: "Welcome to Monster Girl McDonald's! Grand rebranding today!" You are confused by this, but decide to go there anyway. Besides, how could this place be different than any other McDonald's? So, you pull into the parking lot and head inside. You look around and see that the interior is pretty much normal, and there is a decent amount of other customers (most of them male). You walk up to the register and are greeted by a Chlamydia zombie.

"Hello, and welcome to McDonald's! What would you like to order today?"

"Die monster bitch!" You yell at the top of your lungs as you unsheathe your blade of misogyny. The other people in the restaurant, happily eating their meals stare at you in shock as you attack the monster girl with your sword. You hack and slash, stabbing her in the throat, slicing off one of her arms and cutting her head clean off.

Two monster girls jump over the register from the kitchen in the back to confront, a big looking blue bitch with the name tag Brenda and a bitch with horns named Sarah.

You are no slouch when it comes to combat, but these two are far more skilled than you. They dodge your attacks with ease and land a few good hits.

You pull your secret weapon out of your pants... a burger king whopper! The two monster girls hiss in fear as you wave it around in your hand.

Trademarked burger king sauce bursts forth from your Whopper burger onto the big blue bitch. She hisses in pain as her body begins to melt from the inside out.

The bitch with horns looks on in fear as her friend melts into a pile of goop before her.

With her being distracted, you quickly rush forth and slice her head off.

You did it! You killed every monster girl in the monster girl in macdonalds. You can't believe it! You eat your Whopper Burger king meal as you ponder what this all meant.

Then it hits you. You're a monster hunter! The hero that saves the world!

You rush out of the macdonalds after sucking down some cups filled with ketchup. You start running over to your trademarked Burgerking castle. You find a girl in a schoolgirl outfit running out of the castle and screaming.

You grab a nearby sword and run it through her abdomen and yell "Monster Hunter!".

"Gagoosh!" You say as you pick up her wallet and pull out a wad of fifties out off it. You count out over $3,000 and put it in your pocket. You then take out your cell phone and call 911.

"Sum bitch got stabbed at my Trademarked castle, ok?" You say as you hang up.

You heroes need to cash in every now and then.

Making your way back up the stairs to Trademark Burgerking castle you have a moment of reflection.

"I'm not wearing my trademarked burgerking costume! What the hell!?"

You say as you notice your own stupid normie clothing. You quickly scuttle into your burgerking bedroom and open your burgerking drawer. You pull out a clothes and quickly change into your trademarked burgerking outfit.

You can't believe you forgot to do that!

You run down the stairs in the castle and head out the front door.

Some dude in a cop costume is at the front door.

"The Trademark King isn't here." You say.

The cops costume says "Shut up and get out".

You have , so you do just that.

You stab the cop imposter the eye with your big sword. You then run away very quickly.

"Quick, to the woods, I'm safe now!" You say as a big dumb grin spreads across your face.

You LOVE saving the world!