Dumb Directions

You give the little pink haired terror a deep belly laugh, her exuberant attitude and personality causing you to break out in amusement before you speak, “Well when you put it that way, why not eh?”

As usual Yachiru is a bubbling cauldron of energy and hyperactivity, her excited tone sounding in your ear as she takes her preferred position hanging on the one shoulder that Yoruichi has yet to occupy, “Yay! Let’s go Goofy-nii-chan, Yachiru will show the way!”

Yoruichi’s black cat ears instantly perk up at Yachiru’s voice, one of her paws lightly tapping your cheek as she speaks with gentle trepidation, “Uh, John-koi…perhaps it would be better if I led the way.”

You are about to respond to the black cat cutie until a soft sniffling fills the void of silence left at the end of Yoruichi’s statement. Hearing the beginning of someone crying you turn to see the disappointed and teary eyes of Yachiru staring at you, those pleading pink orbs unmercifully tearing at your heart strings, “Aw…b-but Goofy-nii-chan, Yachiru wanted to show you…”

The disappointed and sorrowful eyes of Yachiru shreds your soul and resistance to nothingness before you turn to face Yoruichi, and apologetic look on your face as you speak, “Eh…that’s alright Yoruichi-hime. I think I’ll let bubblegum show me, you know, since it is her division and everything.”

With your gaze turned to Yoruichi you miss the instant clearing of Yachiru’s tears behind you, her once depressed pink iris’ returning to normal as she gives Yoruichi a slightly smug but overall pleased smile. Holding herself back the best she can as Yachiru sticks out her tongue Yoruichi sighs, shrugging her feline shoulders as she speaks again, “Alright John-koi…who knows, we might actually get there by dinner time.”

Given that you had run into Yachiru at roughly nine in the morning you wonder what that could possibly mean but you shake it off as you turn to Yachiru, your gaze never catching the returned razz that Yoruichi sends Yachiru, “Alright bubblegum, let’s go.”

At roughly five in the afternoon you finally set foot before the yellow roofed eleventh division barracks, your stomach screaming in hunger as Yachiru bounces in place on your shoulder, “Yay! We’re here Goofy-nii-chan!”

“Y-Yeah,” you mutter, scraping up the last bit of your energy and will to slide a strained smile across your face, “h-how about you head inside first and t-tell your Taicho I’m here…”

Thinking a bit Yachiru nods, her smile as bright as possible as she happily chirps, “Okay Goofy-nii-chan! Ken-chan’s been waiting to fight nii-chan for a while so he’ll be really excited when he knows you’re here!”

Before you can remind Yachiru that you are not here for a fight the little pink haired menace has already hopped off your shoulder and run into the barracks, her giggling voice hiding the true terror that she can inflict. The moment Yachiru vanishes into the building you groan, both hands rising up and rubbing at your scalp through the fine leather of your wide brimmed cap, “Sonnovabitch that was long! What the hell, is the eleventh division placed way the fuck out here for a reason!?”

Yoruichi giggles a bit, one of her paws tapping at your cheek so as to catch your frazzled attention. This of course causes you to turn your head to face the now grinning shini-kitty, “Didn’t I tell you to let me lead John-koi?”

Blinking a few times one of your eyebrows rises in confusion, “what do you mean? Even if you led wouldn’t it have been just as long?”

Rolling her eyes a bit Yoruichi lifts her paw from your cheek and points down a road beside the entrance to the eleventh division barracks. Sure enough, farther down the street your eyes land upon your own barracks, the eight division housing complex settled a few short blocks from the home of the pink terror. Given that your own barracks are roughly a ten minute walk from your clan home this sets your face on fire with embarrassed rage, your face flushing a brilliant crimson as you speak through grit teeth, “Sh…She…e-eight hours…for eight hours…FUCK!” Your face quickly finds the palms of your hands as you scream into the glove covered palms, “That little runt! She led me around for eight hours for nothing!”

Placing a consoling paw on the top of your head Yoruichi sighs, “I’m sorry John-koi…she didn’t do it on purpose, Yachiru and Kenpachi just have REALLY bad senses of direction. You’ll learn these things eventually.”

The second those words leave Yoruichi’s lips a massive wave or reiatsu covers the area, a powerful flash of spiritual energy nearly flooring everyone around you while leaving you unaffected for the most part, “Oh fuck…I’m really beginning to think that my life is becoming modeled around the curse, may you live in interesting times.”

Yoruichi nods as the storm of reiatsu becomes even more chaotic, the epicenter of the hurricane closing in at mach speeds until at last the source of it all appears before you, the wild and unkempt grin of Kenpachi glaring out from beneath that spiky belled hair, “Genryusai! You finally decided to show up for a fight eh? At least you got more balls than Kurosaki!”

Somewhere in the back of your mind you notice how everyone, including Yoruichi, seems to be weighed down by Kenpachi’s aura, his raw energy enough to floor even the strongest of Shinigami if they were unprepared. However, for some reason you continue to be unaffected, your body shrugging off Kenpachi’s oppressive reiatsu with only minor difficulty as you speak, “I’m not here for a fight Kenpachi, Yachiru just wanted to show me around her division, you know, being friendly and all that.”

Kenpachi simply laughs at your words, a deep bellied bellow that ends with another one of his insane smiles, “Oh I know that already, Yachiru already told me how she wants to show her ‘nii-chan’ around our division and try to piss off Yoruichi some more. Gotta say, the kid’s taken a real shine to yah Genryusai.” The comment about Yoruichi sends a bit of curiosity into your mind, your eyebrow quirking as Yoruichi bristles a bit by your side. However, you are never able to voice a question as Kenpachi returns to speaking, “but this here is a division of fighters and I gotta test anyone who comes into this division, friend, foe, or otherwise to make sure that they’ll live…or at least provide some entertainment before they die.”

The second he finishes his words Kenpachi draws his sword from its sheath, the jagged blade glinting with the light of the day as you groan, your hands reaching to your belt and drawing Katen Kyokotsu effortlessly, “I’m not getting out of here without a fight am I?” Kenpachi laughs but says nothing, your head shaking slightly as you mutter to yourself, “Glorious…well let’s get this started already.” Taking a deep breath you pull your duel blades up into their usual cross like formation, your eyes closing as you allow yourself to fall into a harmonious trance with your blades, “hana kaze midarete, kashin nak-”

Before you can even get halfway through your incantation a sudden pulse of energy shatters your concentration, your spell broken and your mind thrown off balance as you hop back away from what appears to be a pitch black tear in space opening right before your eyes…