Drunk and Disorderly

When Elaine had told Andy she was planning to get heavily inebriated that night, though not in those words, she wasn't lying, and her claims that alcohol made her insatiably horny were also proving to be accurate. Ordinarily that would seem to be a hugely positive development for her new boyfriend, but it was half one in the morning, and he was struggling to get her back to the hotel.

Elaine seemed to want to stop and make out with Andy every few yards. That had been hot the first time, pleasant the second and - well, still pretty enjoyable on each subsequent occasion that she'd either shoved him up against a wall or practically jumped into his arms. But they needed to start making some progress towards their room for the night. Andy's desire to get back there quickly only intensified once Elaine began slurring something about how she had always thought it would be a turn on to get fucked in the street. If Andy was going to exit this week early via intercourse, he would much rather do so in their hotel room than down some grimy Nottingham back alley.

"Do you not wanna fuck me or something?" Elaine asked with all the confusion of someone who had never found herself in that position with anyone in her entire life.

"Of course I do, I'd just rather we do it on a nice and comfortable bed in the privacy of our own room."

"Bit vanilla of you Andrew, but fine" she replied "What I'll do then, to speed things up, is start undressing now."

"What do you mean?"

"It will be more efficient if I get my kit off on the way back won't it?" Elaine explained, employing pure drunken logic, as she leaned against a wall for support and took off her shoes and socks before passing them to her bemused boyfriend "Multitasking and shit. You wouldn't understand that, being a guy."

"So you're going to walk back to the hotel in bare feet?"

"I'm gonna walk back there bare full stop, baby!" she laughed as she hurled her jacket at him.

"You can't be serious!" Andy wasn't sure it was practically possible to physically stop Elaine from undressing, so instead had to attempt to reason with someone who'd temporarily lost all sense of it "You'll get arrested!"

"No I won't, there's nobody even here!" she gestured at the empty street they were walking in before pulling her t-shirt off and tossing it onto the ground for Andy to scoop up "And it's Fresher's week for fuck's sake!"

"Not here it isn't, we're not on campus now! You could get yourself into all sorts of trouble!"

"Awww, Andy, you're such a protective boyfriend. That's really sweet!" Elaine cooed as she stopped to step out of the pair of jeans she had been wearing but which she had now sent crashing to the pavement.

It appeared she wasn't joking or bluffing here.

They were at least mercifully close to their hotel by now, and Elaine was correct that the part of town they were in seemed deserted at that time of night. Andy therefore held onto the hope they could get back there without incident. He really didn't want to have to Pittsburgh his way out of this week now after coming so far and accomplishing so much.

"I'm not even sure they'll let you into the hotel like that" Andy fretted as Elaine unhooked her bra, peeled it off and threw it his way.

"Of course they will" she predicted as she stopped for a moment to wriggle out of her panties and complete the look, before carrying on ahead.

"It's not like when a guy walks around in the buff. People find that creepy and perverted. When it's a girl it's hot. Just watch I'll prove it!"

"I really don't need or want you to prove that Elaine!"

But it was too late. Andy looked up with horror to see someone approaching them from the opposite direction and Elaine quickening her pace to greet them. It wasn't the police, thankfully, or a big group of people but one man on his own, heavy set with a beard, who looked to be early middle aged from what Andy could make out in the street lit darkness.

"Excuse me, mate!" Elaine called out, waving an arm in the air, lest the stranger managed to miss a beautiful butt naked woman standing in his path.

"Oh, hello young lady. Can I help you?" the man walked forward eagerly, neither verbally acknowledging Elaine's nakedness nor hiding the fact he was fully taking in the view.

"Yeah, my boyfriend and I are a little lost, do you know where the Premier Inn is?" she criss-crossed her arms over her chest and rubbed her shoulders "It's getting a bit chilly out here tonight isn't it? My nipples are like bullets!"

"Oh yes, I can see that, you poor thing" the man pretended to sympathise while staring at Elaine's boobs and noticeably failing to offer her his jacket "It's actually only around the corner. Why don't I walk you there?"

"No, it's okay buddy I've got this!" Andy had by now caught up, much to the strangers disappointment "It's all good, she's just had a lot to drink tonight. I'll get her back safely though, don't worry."

Unable to find any excuse to linger any longer, the other guy reluctantly bid the pair goodbye and went on his way.

"See, nobody gives a shit!" Elaine boasted smugly "And be honest, how much do you wanna fuck me right now?"

"Like you wouldn't believe" Andy conceded "But that doesn't mean this isn't a terrible idea!"

Thankfully, the strangers directions had been accurate and their hotel soon came into view.

"Evening!" Elaine chirped cheerily at the female attendant behind the desk as she strolled past, after she and Andy had safely entered their lodgings for the night.

"It's Freshers Week!" her boyfriend told the woman apologetically, as if that were any kind of explanation.

The receptionist smiled and nodded, allowing them on their way. Slightly irrationally, that actually annoyed Andy. Of course it was good that they could go to their room without any complications, but he just knew if he had gone wandering in there with his dick out he would have been ejected and banned from the premises for life at best and arrested and put on some kind of sex offenders register if they weren't feeling so forgiving.

Thankfully the pair didn't pass anyone else on their way to the lift and had it to themselves once they stepped inside.

"Fuck, have I been seriously walking around like this!" Elaine laughed as she stared at her reflection on the mirrored back wall of the elevator.

"Yeah, you have" Andy confirmed.

"Did it turn you on?" she asked as she walked over and cuddled up to him.

"It both turned me on and terrified me in equal measure. You seem like a different person tonight, Elaine"

"Sorry, this is why I usually stick to the weed and avoid alcohol" she closed her eyes and rested her head on Andy's shoulder "Thanks for putting up with me, you're a fucking star. I'm starting to catch some serious feelings for you, so I hope you'll stick with me. I know that sounds weird when we've only known each other for a few days but it seems like so much longer than that."

"I know what you mean, I..."

"Hey. we should fuck right here in the lift!"

Before Andy could stop her, Elaine had lurched forward to put her latest idea into action by hitting the emergency button. Suddenly the lights went off and an alarm started ringing.

"Huh? That works way better in films" she complained "Oh well, I think I'm about ready to go to sleep anyway"

As Elaine slouched down in the corner of the small compartment and closed her eyes, all Andy could do was hope that help would come soon, and that whoever it was would be extremely understanding.

---

"Oh God, I feel like I've been run over by a truck" Elaine grumbled when she finally woke the next morning "I can barely remember anything after the gig. I didn't do anything embarrassing did I?"

"Er, no.." Andy felt it best to respond with a white lie "You were definitely out of it though."

"Yeah, alcohol really messes me up. I don't drink often but I figured it was Fresher's week and I trusted you not to take advantage of me" she smirked a little, despite her crushing headache "Or maybe I just didn't mind if you did."

"Well the good news is we don't have to be out of here until one" Andy informed her.

"What time is it now?"

"Almost midday"

"Fuck!" Elaine gasped "This is worse than I thought. I'm pretty sure I'm out of action for today. I'm going to book this room for another night so I don't have to move. If I'm up to it maybe I can have a quick drink, a soft drink that is, with my mates around here this evening. We can spend all of tomorrow together, though. Not to sound presumptuous, but I'm assuming you'll be asking me to be your date for the end of week party?"

"Yeah, of course"

"Then I accept" she leaned over and kissed his forehead "I'm sorry about being a bit rubbish today and probably a pain in the arse last night. I'll make it up to you , I promise!"

As Andy kissed his girlfriend goodbye and left her to recover alone, he noticed a couple of messages on his phone from Leah. Sadly they weren't accompanied by any candid photos this time.

Okay, so it looked like Andy's day wouldn't be a write off after all.