Dr.Maeve Petrov (M)

Dr.Maeve Petrov clicked the lights back on in her office. She and her secretary had left a few hours ago, but one of her colleagues had asked her to meet with a distraught woman who had reached out while the colleague was out of the country. She didn’t mind doing this, Dr. Blume had helped her a number of times before. As she moved from the door to her filing cabinet, she took a deep breath, trying to return to the headspace she needed for a session. She pulled out a new file folder and labeled it “Genet Grant” (Blume).

Next she straightened out the row of fidget toys next to the client’s couch and double checked the collection of snacks while she waited for Mrs.Grant to arrive. The pretzels, fruit snacks, and cheesy crackers were all there. Everything ready, she closed her eyes for a moment and waited for Mrs.Grant

A knock on the door came. “Please, come in.” Dr.Petrov said, trying to speak just loudly enough that her voice would carry to the door. A woman that looked to be about her age with black hair slowly opened the door. Her hands were clasped together, as if unsure what to do with them. She wore a red dress, covered by a dark overcoat with a G.G stitched onto the right breast pocket. She was a splash of color in the browns and tans of the room. She stood in the door bashfully, as if she was still unsure about her decision to come here. “You’re in the right place.” Dr.Petrov said, bidding Genet further into the room. Dr.Petrov gently put her hand on the slightly taller woman’s shoulder as she approached and said “It’s alright. Dr.Blume told me you were having some trouble and asked me to help. Why don’t you come sit down and tell me what’s wrong. Genet nodded, appearing to be holding back tears.

The two moved back to her room and sat across from each other. Genet, after some silence, said “I’ve been feeling increasingly guilty about my relationship with my husband. I feel like I should just end it. I know that I don’t deserve him, but I… I don’t want to lose him.” Genet’s shoulders slumped, having finally got out what she needed to say.

Dr.Petrov studied her client. Everyone had impulses, things that they did when they felt something was wrong. Some people need to do something with their hands, others stress eat or stare at the floor to avoid eye contact. Genet was still, staring just past her. She almost felt like her client was on standby, waiting for her to engage. She felt terrible thinking about this, but it almost felt like something was rehearsed about her new patients tears.

“Why do you feel like you don’t deserve him?’ Dr.Petrov asked.

“He’s just done so much to support me. His career mostly involves making tailoring and jewelry, and he’s done so many projects for me over the years we’ve been together. He made my dress and the coat that I was wearing when I came in. He even made my wedding ring.” Genet said, showing the doctor a platinum ring with three small diamonds. “My job has a lot of travel involved, so he does most of the chores around the house. Meanwhile I’m… here.”

“You’re here? Can you tell me what you mean by that.”

“I mean I don’t do anything for him other than the occasional meal when I come home. I can’t even pay him back in the bedroom, he’s been struggling with that for years.”

“And does that bother you at all? I can understand how that could frustrate someone.”

Genet scoffed. “No, he’s still so thoughtful. He even asked this morning if I wanted to open up our relationship. That’s why I’m asked to come here.”

“He offered to let you see someone else? Can you tell me more about why that makes you feel guilty?

Her client made eye contact with her again. “I’ve already been having an affair with one of his coworkers for fourteen years.”

“Can I ask how long you’ve been with your husband?”

“Is it important? Her patient tried to dodge the question

Dr.Petrov leaned forward. "You don’t need to tell me, if that’s not something you’re comfortable with. I only ask to try and put the two men into context with you."

"We’ve been married for twelve years, with three years before that"

Oh. Dr.Petrov sat on this for a moment before starting to push again. “How do you think your husband would react if he found out?”

“He’d probably try to pretend that he just didn’t care. He tries not to bother me about his own emotions. When he gets overwhelmed by things, he usually just retreats to his workshop until things blow over. If he found out, it might be weeks or months before I see him again…” Genet trailed off, as if lost in thought.

“If he reacted better, would you want to continue seeing both of them?”As Dr.Petrov asked, Genet looked at her and nodded. “He will need to find out” Genet stiffened at this, but the doctor continued. “It doesn’t need to be immediate, but it seems like it needs to happen for everyone’s sake. He seems incredibly understanding from what you’ve told me, and deserves to know the truth. From what I’ve seen tonight, hiding this isn’t good for you either. I don’t know anything about your boyfriend, but I'm not sure if he would want to keep hiding this forever. Whether or not you see either or both of them in the future, you’ll need to communicate more about what you’re feeling and doing with them. “

“Do you think I’d still be able to be with them both?” Genet asked, her head tilting back up

“It’s possible. But you need to let yourself be prepared for that not to happen. If your husband reacts badly you need to have space ready for him, as you told me he has done for you.”

“I can do that. I just… don’t know where to start. What would you recommend, doctor? How do you think I should tell him?

“I want to preface this by first saying that I don’t know everything here. I don’t know everything about you or your husband. I don’t usually give relationship advice outside of universal principles like learning to enforce boundaries.

If you do want to talk about this, then I’d say that you’d need to be willing to trade off some of the control you’re probably used to. The avoidance your husband is prone to is likely something learned from not having enough control, and so you’d need to make sure he felt relevant and loved still when you stop hiding the boyfriend.

Not only does he need to know, but you should try to make him feel invited and included. Try talking to him about what he’s comfortable with, both with the three of you and when it would be just you and the boyfriend. Once you first have the conversation with him, I’d recommend going to dinner together. One thing that may help to keep in mind is that while you’re used to balancing two relationships, the two men you’re seeing will develop their own relationship one way or another. Does any of this make sense so far?”

Genet nodded, much brighter than when she came in. “It does, Dr.Petrov, thank you. I really appreciate your listening and being able to help me tonight. I was worried that you would just judge me for the situation I created. Could we call it early for tonight so I can try to figure things out at home?”

Dr.Petrov nodded, starting to reach for her bag. I'm glad I was wrong earlier “If my priority was on judging the problems of my patients, I wouldn’t be any good at my job. Would you expect your doctor to judge you if you came in with the flu?” She smiled at Genet. “I’m glad I could help calm things for you. I’d like to give you my card in case you need to reach out again, just let me grab one from my secretary’s desk” As Petrov turned back towards her new patient, the last thing she saw was a shadow reaching towards her before everything went dark.