Don't be silly

He picked up the book, leafing through the first few pages of dull legal disclaimers and poorly translated safety information. No help there, he concluded, tossing it aside after just a minute or two of skimming. Which left only the suit itself.

Unfolding it from its packaging, he examined it carefully. The Suit looked like it would completely cover the wearer from head to foot, apart from holes for the eyes and mouth in the hood part.

There were no seams or joins that he could find, the mitten like gloves and feet melding into the cuffs of the suit like it was all a single piece. Strangest of all, the pink latex while thin and flexible proved to be impossibly heavy. He guessed the whole thing must weigh thirty or forty kilos. Just wearing it would be quite a workout.

Perhaps that was the idea, a sort of full body resistance band?

The idea caught his interest and after a few more minutes of poking and prodding at the strange suit he resolved to try it on and test his exercise equipment theory.

Stripping naked (one of the few instructions he had picked up on his brief glance at the manual was a warning not to wear clothing under the suit) he struggled to squeeze into the tight-fitting latex.

By the time he pulled the zipper shut, he knew he'd made a mistake. His limbs felt like lead, just standing had him sweating like a pig, clearly any kind of exercise would be crazy. Simply walking upstairs would probably make him keel over from heatstroke. Plus, he looked absolutely ridiculous, like a huge pink sausage about to split out of its skin.

Gasping and panting with the effort, he reached back to grab the zipper, but his gloved fingers found only smooth unbroken latex.

"What the fuck?" he groaned, a wave of dizziness sweeping over him.

The suit felt like it was shrinking, crushing in all around him.

"Huh... Help!" he gasped weakly as his vision tunnelled, "Suh... somebody... ahh!"

He collapsed, darkness dragging him down to unthinking oblivion...