Don't... Just don't

"This is odd," Kamek said, looking at them more and more. "They don't seem to have any differences from what I see. What about you?"

"Umm... well..." Bowser found his body drenched in sweat, unable to tell even the slightest difference between the Peaches. This was the woman he loved, the one he dreamed to marry so many times in the past, if no one could figure out the difference he should be able to. There must be, there must be some way he could tell...

"Actually," he said. "This isn't a problem at all. We can work with two Peaches."

"Sire!?" Kamek was shocked, unable to tell what his king was thinking. "But only the real Peach is able to grant access to the Mushroom Kingdom!"

"And it's impossible to tell which of them is the real Peach. Marry them both and it won't matter, I'll get access to the Mushroom Kingdom no matter what! Besides, two Peaches are better than one."

"But sire, polyamory is illegal."

"But I'm the king. I declare it legal now."

Bowser laughed a loud and wicked laugh only to stop when he heard the door to his castle slam open. Mario was here, finally ready to save his one and only princess. At least he thought it was his one and only princess, so seeing two nude Peaches in the cage was not what he expected.

"Mama mia," Mario said. "Why are there two Peach-a?"

"Mario, save me!"
"Mario, save me!"

The Peaches reached out from their cage towards the lone plumber, who was ready to make his way to save the princesses.

"Oh no, this is bad." Bowser started to quake in his giant feet. The plan was going to fail, it always failed when Mario came aboard, there had to be something he could do to stop the man.

"Sire." Kamek stepped in front of Bowser, ready to face Mario himself. "I got this."

Three jumps was proof enough that Kamek had not got this.

Bowser stood ready to face Mario, wondering if there was any way to get out of this situation.