Dec 3rd: Calliope Mori vs. Bill & Ted

The sky was darker. The cliff side from where they fell seemed so high. Their bodies felt lighter. Jagged brown rocks surrounded them on a horribly large landscape, like they’d landed directly into the battle scene of a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers episode.

“Woah… where are we?”

“Ted, I think we’re dead dude.”

“How can you tell?”

The pair looked back slowly, gazing upon their mangled corpses lying still on the ground.

Bill frowned, “Seems like those other evil us’s managed to kill us…”

“Bummer.” Agreed Ted, “How are we gonna get back and save the babes?”

“You won’t.”

The two turned again to follow the sound of the echoing voice. A far off shadow on the edge of a jagged mountain, an impossibly far distance to speak to them, yet when they both blinked the shadow was gone. Only to appear directly behind the rocker pair.

In an unexpected twist, instead of a grim faced man, they were met by a woman!

Pink hair flowed down her back, adjourned with a black tiara and lacy veil down the back. Though the large scythe and pure black tattered robes were certainly menacing, it was slightly undone by her clothing showing off how busty her chest was and how beautiful her face was. Far from a skeleton, there was some real juicy looking meat on the lady’s bones, with thick thighs peeking out from beneath the long robes that had cute lace socks along their surface.

“Woah! Did we reach heaven?”

“No Bill, I think this is the Grim Reaper!”

“The reaper is a total babe? Excellent!”

As the two rocked out with their air guitars, the reaper herself sighed. It had been a long few millennia, watching humanity go down their dark paths and only being allowed to watch from the sidelines. The last thing she wanted to do was meet two meatheads and guide them to the afterlife being referred to as ‘babe’, but alas, that was her job.

It had been a while since someone was bold enough to hit on Calliope after they’d bitten the proverbial bullet. Most humans sober up at the prospect of eternal damnation. So to have these two smile in the face of **** was at the very least, refreshing.

“Come with me, I’m here to take you two bozos to the afterlife,” said the woman.

“Woah, hold on!” The lankier one quickly put his hands up, “We can’t go to the afterlife, Bill! We have to get back and save the babes from us!”

“But how are we going to do that, Ted?” Remarked the shorter blonde one, absolute bafflement on his face as he turned to Calliope Mori as she tried to guide them away, “Mrs. Reaper, is there any way you can let us go?”

That caused an unfortunate pause in her step.

“Guh… yes, there is a way for you to be free. It’s just super annoying...” She grumbled, turning back towards them with a grimace on her grim face, “If you can best me in a challenge then your souls are free to go.”

The pair looked at each other with excitement, “Woah! That’s all it takes?!”

“How many people win the challenge?”

“People don’t ask very often and I usually do my job in peace,” The busty lady crossed her arms under her bouncy bust in a way that you knew she didn’t realise what it did to her jiggle physics, “But out of those who ask, no one has ever won. And if you lose, I can send your souls wherever I want, regardless of where you were ‘supposed’ to go for eternity.”

Their excitement, after a quick ogle at the creamy chest, faded fast. William S. Preston Esq. and Theodore Logan had a choice to make. Risk their eternal souls, or go quietly into the night?

Well, when you’re a Wyld Stallyn, there’s only one real choice.

“We’ll take you on, Sexy Reaper Lady!” Ted defiantly pointed at her.

Bill joined him in the point, “No way we’re gonna lose!”

Calliope Mori had to admire their spirit. With a slight smile she replied, “Aight, if that’s how you boys wanna play. Let’s go.”

She grabbed the bottom of her cloak and whipped it over the heads of the two rockers, who closed their eyes instinctively. When they opened all four eyelids, the pair were in a wildly different location. Like someone had switched the channel from Power Rangers to Dracula: The Series. A creepy castle aesthetic was their new stage, with cobwebs in the corners, a very dark and grey colour scheme, and a huge limo-sized table straight out of the Addams Family was front and centre in the room.

“We now begin… the challenge.”

---

“THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!”

“Alright!” Ted and Bill instantly hi-fived, “I told you she put them all in the Js!”

J4 had been the final missile needed to sink Calli’s battleship. She was so close to winning, but they’d snuck the win out of the final few turns. Steaming in rage, how could they have won the challenge?! Were these two also… gamers?

“Now you have to let us go!”

“Fuck that!” The sassy pinknette hissed in rage before catching herself, “Er, I mean, i-it’s best two out of three!”

“Wha~at?”

“Bogus! You didn’t say that before!”

“Well I’m saying it now, asshole!” She fumed back, slamming her hand against the table, “You deadbeat losers just got lucky! You will not win a second time!”

---

“OH COME ON! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!”

“Tubular work, Ted!” Bill praised, patting his raven haired buddy on the back, “I told you Ms. Reaper lady, no one can beat my main man on Mortal Kombat!”

Calli was even more pissed off now, especially at a certain yellow ninja, “That fucking Raiden combo you did was such horse shit! Look, the, uh... the sun got in my eye! We’re going to best three out of five, dammit!”

The tall one looked around the room confused, “There isn’t even any sun down here…”

Bill huffed in annoyance, “That wasn’t the deal! You gotta let us go, lady!”

“There’s a certain thing called ‘Good Sportsmanship’ that you should read up about,” Ted agreed.

If it wasn’t for the fact that it would look awful on her permanent reaper record she’d have let them go quicker just to be rid of them. But she didn’t want her dad getting on her case for being the first reaper in three thousand years to let souls back into the land of the living after failing the challenge. She certainly should have let them go now, but there had to be a way to keep playing…

“W-wait, what if I let you pick the challenge next?” She asked, sort of pitiably.

The pair frowned, looking at each other with crossed arms before looking back to the red faced, red eyed, bodacious beauty. “Then you’ll let us go?”

“...yeah…”

“Then I think we have just the challenge!”

---

“Whew~ check out how high!”

“Radical work, my emptied bladder compatriot!” Ted smirked happily, turning back to the scythe wielder, “Beat that, Ms Reaper!”

…

The blonde one had just got his cock out and pissed right up her wall. A visual stain that was roughly the same height as he was dripping on the black stoney surface. It was truly a disgusting moment right out of a 90s era comedy movie, but Calli was more pissed off about something other than the degradation of her interior decor.

“How the FUCK do you expect me to beat that when I don’t even have a dick?!”

The two took a beat to stare at her.

“Oh right, she’s a girl, Ted! I just thought about all the challenge pissing games we win at school!”

“That was pretty sneaky of us, Bill. I totally forgot she wouldn’t be able to win without a male instrument such as ours! Should we challenge her to something else?”

“Hold on, Ted. It may have been an accident, but she did let us pick the challenge. Shouldn’t the lives of our babes take precedence over the honour of beating a helpless opponent this one time?”

Weirdly, this was also annoying the reaper more than the wafting smell of urine. “Helpless?! Unbeatable?! I am the fucking reaper, you think I can’t get piss up a wall?!”

Instantly, Calliope Mori flipped up her robes and moved her panties away from her pussy. Ignoring the interested moans from the idiotic twosome she was stuck with, the reaper quickly began her expert and half thought plan to action.

Long feminine fingers with pink polish began rubbing along her cunny lips. Stimulating her labia and pinching her clit with reckless abandon. Quick, fast, deep penetrative assaults into her cunt. Spreading her lips, mixing up her pussy with little care for where she stood or the company she was with. Winning was all that mattered to the rapper reaper. Splashes of her pleasure began covering her fingers and spreading down her thighs.

It was sending maddeningly pleasurable jolts of electric energy up her, heating her core along with making her heartbeat speed up as fast as she could. Calli didn’t want to be masturbating at her wall any longer than she had to. Anger and frustration built as she bit into her robe to add the other hand into the mix. Pinching and stroking, shlicking and probing, all while trying to get her mind onto some sexy chiselled men or bouncy women.

Soon enough, it was enough. “NAHHFUCK!” She screamed, pussy exploding her juices straight upwards and against the wall. It clearly was far less a splatter than the piss of Bill, but Calli’s sexy squirt had managed to land higher up against the stone than he had.

“There… ha… what you think of that?!”

“EXCELLENT!”

The two quickly played air guitars to her display. She wasn’t sure if that was supposed to make her feel better, but Calli couldn’t really help a grin forming. “F-fuck year I’m excellent! Now I can do whatever I want with your souls!”

“Hold on there, Ms. Reaper!” The dark haired one said, holding out his hand, “You said best of five! While we totally acquiesce the win to thee, isn’t the current record still two to one?”

“That’s right! We still have at least two more challenges before we give our souls to you!”

Puffy lips pouted, Calli was hoping she could have sent them away to satisfy the sudden lustful hunger her pussy was feeling. “Fine…” Her dejected head hung low, only to see she wasn’t the only one with their arousal on display, “Huh. How about we finish this with a contest of cumming? If I can make you both orgasm before I climax again, then we’ll count it as two wins for me?”

The two were rather excited by that prospect, especially as the reaper got down on her knees to look up at them, “Wait a moment Ted, what about our babes?”

“Bill, everyone knows it doesn’t count as cheating if you do it when you’re dead!”

“Oh yeah! You’re on, Ms. Reaper!”

Their pants were ripped away immediately. Showing off their wild stallions to the reaper who had to dodge their sizable schlongs swinging in her direction. Both were almost equally huge in length at around ten and nine inches, but the shorter blonde one had a thicker girth than the longer guy’s cock. “Hm… may not be as easy as I thought…” She mumbled to herself.

The lewd tryst began with Calli sucking the One taller boy’s cock, taking the other in her hand and lightly stroking up and down the thicker girth. Her lips were warmer than Ted thought the grim reaper’s would be, but he wasn’t complaining as her plush pillows circled his glans and playfully licked his dick slit. With her left hand, she took some of the saliva she was spreading along the top of his cock and began moving it down Theodore’s penis, coating it in her warm mouth fluid before she switched to his best friend.

Bill’s cock had a slightly different taste, Mori noticed. Where Ted had a salty pretzel taste, Bill was more cheesy. Though it was almost impossible to tell, Calli hadn’t exactly had great meals while being a reaper, so she had developed a sharper palate than most. It also made her mouth stretch wider, and so she made sure to really coat his cock in saliva in a similar manner to how she’d done Ted.

“Wait a minute, Bill!” Came the annoying sound of a realisation.

“Hoo~ do I have to, Ted?” Moaned his buddy.

“If we keep letting her blow us like this, won’t she get our souls really easily?”

“Woah, you’re right! Pretty sneaky, Ms. Reaper.”

She didn’t even spit out Bill’s cock, instead just silently pulling down her robe until her tits bounced free of their tight black confines.

The chest of the reaper was nothing to snuff at. Huge natural teardrops, with perfectly smooth skin, and erect dark pink nipples that matched her hair adjourned with wide areola on her fat jiggly breasts. Both dude-bros were silently in awe as she grabbed Mr Logan’s wick and began rubbing his tip against her nipple.

This continued as she did she switch, taking Ted further down until his long jonathan was massaging the back of her throat while Bill’s precum smeared against her right areola. Smut would win this, and Calli needed to win.

She was massaging their cocks, fondling their balls, and truly worshipping these two low life rock stars’ cocks. The reaper had to. She wasn’t enjoying this. Definitely not.

“Ted~! I don’t know if I can hold on with pressure like this!” Bill moaned again as Calli took his cock back into her warm sensual mouth. The cheating reaper was adding her tongue to the proceedings and it was making both men rather close to losing.

His friend was definitely feeling the same, “We have to go on the offensive, Bill! For the babes!”

“For the babes!”

“HEY!” Calli growled as they escaped her grasp, “Come on, I thought I was a… uh, b-babe…?” She asked with a high level of embarrassment.

“You totally are bodacious!”

“But our babes need our help, and it’s our duty to not let them down!”

They quickly charged forward, Bill and Ted in perfect sync as usual. Grabbing the lady under the arms, avoiding staring too much at the jiggle of her breasts and the yelling complaints, before bringing her over to her long table where they’d won Battleship. Laying her gently down on her back so that her head hung over the right side and her legs were spread on the left.

“What the hell?! This-MPH!” She tried to complain before a sudden piece of wide meat filled her gullet.

“Sorry, Ms Reaper! But good sportsmanship dictates we get to change positions to favour both teams!” said Bill, ramming her throat while still somehow treating her with respect.

His friend was similarly gentle with her privates, lining up his long cock to the extra juiced pussy, “That’s right! We’ll have to claim your body for the Wyld Stallyns!”

“MMMFFF!!!” Calli groaned out when a cock for the first time in 153 years entered her pussy. Longer than any dildo she’d used, the heated penis of the handsome boy felt so much better spearing her pussy after such little attention for so long. Her insides coiled instinctively around him, her traitorous body begging him to go even deeper with each thrust of his long sausage.

It was an incredible surprise attack, slamming into her already buzzing body with the speed only two surfer dudes on a quest could.

Bill’s balls mashed against her nose while his girth reached all the way down to make her throat bulge. Grabbing at her tits and mauling happily with reckless abandon, pinching at her erect nipples while humping his erection into her mouth. She couldn’t lie, it felt rather stimulating to have her airways being filled so much. The scraping of sour meat against her throat, mixed with the growing lack of oxygen that wasn’t tainted by blonde ball funk, was getting Calli’s brain feeling funky. The madness making her moan into the rapidly growing burning inside her gut.

That same burning being stoked greatly by the other boy slamming her hips with his extra long rod. The grim reaper’s cervix was taking a battering from Ted, who had managed to get his entire length into her pussy after just a few thrusts into her slippery slit. His hands on her hips, he was just ravaging her. Her bumpy walls trying desperately to make him cum, but only managing to stimulate the reaper even more.

There was nothing Calli could do but fall deeper into the madness they were throwing at her and hope she could hold back her growing orgasm for just a little longer.

Just… hold… on…

“Woah! This bodacious babe totally just came on my crotch, Bill!”

“Cowabunga! We did it Ted! She lost three-one and we get our souls back!”

“EXCELLENT!” They yelled in unison, hi-fiving at the exact moment their cum burst from their cocks.

Calli had to feel it all. The shame at losing, the pleasure of an orgasm she’d tried to hold back, and of course the feeling of burning steamy spunk entering both her upper and lower mouths at the same time.

Thick ropes of jism flooded her moaning mouth and waiting womb, extending the pink haired reaper’s climax with each boiling blast against her quivering quim. She clawed at the table, only able to gulp as much of Bill’s onslaught in her mouth while Ted’s splooge coated her insides totally. The salty taste that coated her tongue and filled her stomach, all while her womb bathed in the sticky sensation below.

Bill and Ted’s excellent spermventure ended with the grim reaper splayed out on her table, dripping white from her lower mouth while the last of their jizz sprays covered her belly and breasts.

Pulling up their trousers, the two congratulated each other before looking back at the woman they’d beaten. “Now, you better not say it’s the best of seven!”

She sighed, sitting up from the table in defeat, “No… I know when I’ve been beaten...” The grumbling reaper slowly pulled up her robes to cover the sperm dripping chest, a squelch and another sigh as it stained the inside of her reaper robes, “Let’s get you back to Earth.”

“Wait a second, Ms. Reaper! Can you take us to someone who can help us beat the robot versions of us?” Bill asked quickly.

“...it’s Calli. Calliope Mori…” She mumbled while readjusting all her clothes, “And you beat me, so I am yours to command…”

“Does that mean we can challenge you again at some point?”

She blushed, turning her body away from them, trying to hide her eagerness in the implication, “...y-yes, obviously…”

“Alright! I wanna challenge you to Street Fighter next time!” Ted proudly boasted.

“A most radical idea, bro! Maybe she has a copy of Mario Kart as well?” Bill agreed happily.

Calli was silent at the pair’s idiocy rushing past her, ignoring her blatant horny agreement. All apart from one final mumble:

“Guh…”