Dec 24th: Konosuba - Selfcest

It was quite noisy in Wiz’s shop. Not that that was a strange event, but the volume of noise was a little notably louder than it usually was when Chris passed by.

Without anything better to do, the thief decided to check it out.

“WAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Cried Aqua as soon as Chris opened the door. Practically falling out of the room to drape her teary form over the smaller woman. Already the thief was regretting this a little. Tears pouring down her face as she bawled with very little personal boundaries right in front of Chris, “ITS CHRISSSS WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“H-hi! Aqua-sama!” She replied, barely edging out the loud wail. “What’s the matter?!”

Then Aqua burst out the room with multiple drinks in hand. “Woo~! Party! Who wanchs a drink?!”

Chris was very confused by the second Aqua offering a drink to the passersby. How was she holding a tearful bluenette when there was another drunk version over there? She didn’t really get a chance to answer that as two of her other friends burst from the door.

“Nnh! Harder!”

“!”

They fell into a little pile. The smaller of the two thwacking the larger blonde with a stick over and over again as the woman moaned and moaned. Darkness was practically drooling at how hard Megumin attacked with her staff, perhaps more so than usual. And Megumin had never looked so bloodthirsty as she had when attacking the blonde.

“Quit it you two!” came Kazuma from the shop next. Ever the den-mother, he had hands on his hips and a stern look on his face. “I’m serious! Back in here before I count to three! ONE! TWWWWOO-! THR-oh, hey Chris.”

“Kazuma! What’s going on? Why are there two Aquas?”

He just laughed. “HA! There’s way more than that! Look.” He gestured inside… where a plethora of Aquas, Megmumins and Darknessi were all shouting, crying, arguing, or just braiding each other’s hair. The only alternative face was Wiz, rushing around trying to save her various wares from the shop’s occupants while also searching for something. “Wiz gave the girls a potion of split personality. I thought it’d shave off some of their worse parts… and it did. All into unique people.” Kazuma sighed, almost like this was a regular occurrence for him. “We have horny Darkness, Megumin, party Aqua, then inside there’s ones like serious Darkness, ladylike Darkness… competitive Megumin, big sister Megumin… crafter Aqua, lazy Aqua’s sleeping in the corner over there. It’s… it’s been a morning.”

“Wow. And how are they going to get cured?”

“Wiz says that the spell will run out once the potion passes through their system in a couple more hours. Just gotta keep em safe unti-”

Then something happened.

Party Aqua had been unleashed, and the pair had mostly ignored her antics. Whenever Aqua was drunk she could rarely do anything to hurt herself. Occasionally you’d find out she bumped her head or fell down, but her stats were so legendary as a Goddess that it was easier to just let her have dumb fun rather than herd that bull. Because of this, they’d not noticed when she’d gotten around the back of Chris… and gotten her to chug the potion.

“Down it frrresher!” She giggled as the potion poured down the thief’s throat. Kazuma batted her away as Chris dropped teary Aqua to the ground.

She tried to cough it up, but it was no good. It may have been a smaller dose, but a white light still began emanating from her core. The same one that had overtaken the girls earlier. Perhaps this wasn’t so bad out of context, Chris would just be split up and added to the pile of women in the shop.

But Kazuma quickly realised there was more context. MUCH more context.

He was the only one privy to the secret. Chris wasn’t just any thief, she was secretly a woman with another life… as a Goddess. Chris and Eris, Goddess of Luck, were the same person. Using the vessel of Chris to travel down to the mortal realm from heaven… and she realised what was coming as well. Pleading eyes looking at Kazuma as her secret was about to be split out of her for the world to see.

“WIZ! TAKE CARE OF EVERYONE!” Kazuma yelled into the shop. Hearing the spluttering whales of the shopkeeper but knowing this situation took precedence. He grabbed Chris’ hand and activated his teleport ability as quickly as possible. The pair vanishing in a beam of light before ending up back at his mansion, where they scurried inside just fast enough to hide the people Chris split into.

---

“Okay, I think we’ll be safe in here. I should probably head back to the others in a minute… but, um, are you two going to be okay?”

Neither knew how to answer that.

It was a strange position to find yourself in. Eyes locked to your alter ego. Chris and Eris stood in Kazuma’s room, not knowing what to do with themselves. Somehow, they’d ended up the most cognizant of all the clones, perhaps mixing with the girl’s already split personality traits when donning the Chris persona. Eris had come out in full purple robe, now sitting on Kazuma’s bed while staring at her other self.

“I suppose we will be.” Eris said calmly. A tenseness in the air between them as neither said anything for a minute. Kazuma awkwardly sweated at the strange atmosphere, really not knowing what the deal was here.

Though Chris seemed willing to share.

“Don’t worry Kazuma, it isn’t awkward because of you,” said the girl leaning against his wall with a growing smirk, “She just doesn’t know how to look at the person she wishes she was.”

“CHRIS!” Eris yelled, really not expecting to have to yell that name like that ever.

Though it didn’t alleviate Kazuma’s confusion at all, “Huh? Well that makes no sense, you’re you.”

“I am, but she thinks she just plays pretend when being Chris,” the aforementioned Chris explained, “She sees me as the fun-loving, active in the evening, life liver. The dream she gets to live when she isn’t tied up sitting on that chair up in heaven.” The gap between the two began to shrink as Chris started approaching Eris on the bed. The Goddess just frowning at the thief.

“Why are you telling him all this?”

The smirk grew quite wide by the time Chris was looming over her clone. “So that he has some context when we do this.”

Then they kissed and Kazuma’s brain juice fell out of his ear.

Chris and Eris, two of (one of?) the most beautiful girls that he knew were now making out on his bed. Perhaps the greatest act of self love that bed had ever seen, and trust me it’s seen PLENTY of self love from Kazuma. Their tongues danced together, their hands roamed each other’s bodies, and all Kazuma could do was try and pick up his hanging jaw from staring too intensely at the pair.

“What the fuck?!” He finally let out, then bowed immediately afterwards, “Sorry. I just needed one reaction. Don’t mind me, please continue.”

They didn’t mind, mostly because they paid him no mind. Eris was making out with the girl she saw in the mirror whenever she felt confident. The literal personification of everything she loved about herself. She’d always wondered what it would be like to be with Chris, to be with the girl she liked being, and this was a once-only opportunity to explore those feelings. Chris obviously feeling the same way, though she actually did feel all those ways Eris felt. Confident and sexy. Sure, the world told her she looked like a boy or had small tits or just wasn’t that into her compared to those like Darkness, Melissa, or Aqua… or Eris. The irony of the world loving Eris, but Eris preferring Chris was not lost on them. Perhaps that’s what fed their hunger for each other at this moment.

“Okay, let’s just cut to the chase already. I don’t know how long the spell will last,” said Eris, hopping off the bed and lifting her purple bed over her head. “Kazuma, you want in on this? We are using your room after all.”

A half naked girl had just invited him to a threeway with herself. The gears had fallen off just as Chris started disrobing herself, but luckily Kazuma had enough brain in his crotch to yell, “FUCK YEAH!” Stripping his clothes hard and fast to join the two on the bed.

Though he’d joined, the focus was definitely on the women with a shared face. Especially from the angle that Kazuma was sitting at. Their faces were once more connected by the tongue, rolling about on Kazuma’s pillow as their chests rubbed against each other. The longer hair of the goddess splayed out below her as the thief took what she wanted from the fallen form. But the real special thing about the angle Kazuma sat, was getting to see how large the pair’s collective rear were. Chris had a bit of a dump truck that hid well in her tight shorts, while Eris very rarely left the chair of Heaven, so right now he was having a bit of an awakening as to how sexy the pair really were. A thin white pantie, almost thong-like in size, that seemingly was the only piece of clothing the two shared. Chris’ ass just chewed on the fabric, making her rear seem even more delectable as she made out with herself.

“Thanks for the meal!” Kazuma prayed before diving forwards. The two were gasping at his sudden touch, feeling the excited boy kiss and lick the higher ass of Chris while fingering the juices of Eris. The virgin obviously wasn’t that expert, but his wild cunning and his linguistics and fingers running fairly pleasurably. Assisted by their own attention’s on each other, Chris reaching down to pinch Eris’ clit while Eris began playing with the sensitive nipples above her.

But Chris had other plans for Kazuma than simple carpet muncher. Her nice ass raised out of his grip then slapped itself down onto Eris’ belly. The girl grunting a little at the sudden impact, while also quickly being pinned by the lithe thief. “Hey Kazuma, wanna take a Goddess’ virginity?”

“Yes.”

It took about one second for Kazuma’s erection to enter Eris’ wet slit. The girl spluttered some excuse about not having her heart be ready, but losing the sentence to a long moan that escaped her mouth as the boy sheathed himself inside. Damage was hard to deal to a Goddess, even when one would expect it to happen in her sensitive spot, which meant that there was no pain on first entry. Pleasure was all that remained for Eris as Kazuma’s dick wiggled itself inside her. No matter how much her tight hole squeezed and clenched him, she just felt the electric heat spread from her crotch and contaminate the rest of her body.

“Hmm, maybe there’s some psychic link between us but I can feel that faintly too.” Chris chuckled as she rubbed her tight mons, “Your sword’s pretty big, Kazuma.”

“Don’t… give me the cliche porn dialogue just yet…” He puffed, wiping a mountain of sweat from his brow, “Trying… not… to… blow!”

He may have been closer than he’d like, but the desire to fuck Eris was far too great to not be pumping his hips back and forth. All he had to do was imagine he was fucking some other Goddess right now and he felt like he could hold back for hours! Grinding her insides with his prick over and over again, sending the lucky juices pouring out onto his sheets while her legs quietly wrapped around his torso. Chris began helping her pleasure, rotating her body around to start licking her own pussy while Kazuma fucked it. Her tongue found the fleshy pussy very tasty while Kazuma’s dick added a nice salty flavour to it. Eris managed to even begin sixty-nineing her own clone cunt, through all the blinding bliss she managed to lick upwards into Chris’ leaky slit.

Kazuma got to hump Chris’ face a bit as well, since it was right there, before once more pounding his entire might into Eris’ begging pussy. It was unironically Heaven for him, two tight as fuck hotties, managing to bounce between the pussy and mouth of basically the same girl, it was just freaky enough to make it really hot without getting weird.

Though with thinking about Chris and Eris, also meant he’d stopped thinking about Aqua. And thusly, as foretold, Kazuma’s strength to hold back his jism faded completely.

“UGH! CCUUMMMIINNGG!” He roared, barely counting as a warning as a hot blast of searing hot jism exploded from his tip. The womb of the Luck Goddess completely soiled in moments by the adventurer’s seed, all as she moaned out for more into Chris’ pussy. Her sudden orgasm affecting their weird connection as Chris panted into Eris’ pussy, getting splashed by a jet of escaping Kazu-cum. He wasn’t done yet though, unsheathing his blade and ramming it into the second closest open hole. His next blast of semen spreading right down Chris’ throat, practically hitting her stomach before she could even swallow. Her own orgasm once more affecting the connection to make Eris feel the aftershocks, almost creating a loop of climaxes between the two as their sensitivity was so high.

A few hours later, the other three had reformed into one being. They were ready to give Kazuma a piece of their minds for abandoning them with only poor Wiz as a lone fighter against the chaos… but were quite surprised to find what was in his room. Only seeing his naked torso poking up from the covers as some mass of woman squirmed around underneath.

“Oh my goddess!” Darkness exclaimed, placing hands over her mouth.

Megumin’s half lidded eyes were much less impressed, “...well, you look like you had a very important reason to abandon us.”

“HEY! Why does it smell like my junior in here?!” Aqua barked, rushing towards Kazuma’s bed to rip the sheets away. He fought back, but someone quickly came up from beneath them to make them stop.

“Just me!” Chris exclaimed, trying to hide her modesty from her friends, “Just… just Chris.”

Her thighs were locked tightly around Eris’ mouth to hope that none of them discovered anything else under the sheets.