Daphne Commits Not-So-Benevolent Trespassing (and Mattie Tests Out Some Toys!)

Daphne

Daphne is annoyed. All of my efforts to befriend Gina with M.G.R.O.M.M. participation, and the first time she acknowledges me is when she has a seizure from the delicious mermaid potions I gave Emi!?!?!?!? The mermaid slurps on a smoothie she’s made of shark liver and dolphin blood while feeling indignant. Why is Gina so mean to me? I worked hard flavoring those potions to be tasty! She should be proud of me for sharing some tasty magic treats with the gang over there!

Of course, Daphne knows the old mermaid saying, “Don’t get mad, get vengeance.” So, that is what she is here to do. Now, Daphne is not going to go as far as what she could do. She’s not going to True Polymorph Gina into a dolphin or summon a giant tornado to destroy Marcie’s mansion or anything like that. Instead, she’s gonna prank Gina real good!

She picked a night where Marcie, Cutie, and Gina are scheduled to visit Marel over the weekend. So, the mermaid is alone at Marcie’s mansion, with the exception of her accomplice.

Mattie, eyes twinkling with mischief, asks, “So, Teeth, what exactly are we doing here?”

Shark-tooth smile gleaming in the twilight, the mermaid replies, “Starting and ending a prank war! Gina is sure to apologize and be friends with me after this!”

Daphne chooses to ignore Mattie’s amused aside, “Oh, this can only go poorly.” She doesn’t ignore Mattie’s much louder question, “Well, you told me that we had to do a dumb review while we do this, so what are we reading?”

“We are reading ‘generic body control story’ by Gambio. Or Ora, maybe? Ora claimed to have written Clothes for Likes, so she might claim this too.”

Mattie launches two simultaneous salvos. One out of her Bog Roll Bazooka towards the mansion; the TP doesn’t unfurl and causes minimal damage to the shutter it hit. The other at the title, “Really boring name, acting like penguins make a smut story worth reading, AND no capitalization in the title or the teaser. Not a great start there, Author.”

“Shall we read anyways, Mattie?”

Reloading the Bog Roll Bazooka, the astral elf shrugs, “Sure. Let’s see if changing the angle will help.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

Mattie’s second TP shot also doesn’t unfurl midair. The roll lands with a thud on the roof, then spools down until it gets caught in a gutter. The spymaster notes, “Ooooh, starting with a cipher. That’s neat. One point for the author! Also, I probably need to dial down the firing velocity.”

Daphne has her first carton of a dozen cockatrice eggs at the ready. She is far enough away that her Catapult spell won’t result in any structural damage to the house, but much structural damage to the eggs. She launches it, watching with satisfaction at the smearing eggs dripping down the mansion wall, then adds, “And we should take that point away, and then some, for all of the strange quotation mark errors. I don’t even know how you make quotation marks do those things on a word processor! It would be one thing if the errors were consistent, because that would at least imply a translation issue of a non-English speaker writing in English, but they aren’t.”

Mattie is busy tinkering with her gun, but notes, “Yup. Anyways, our currently unnamed protagonist downloads a poorly named and designed app. Opening the app demands a victim. The protagonist selects a younger brother named Ben.”

Another salvo of eggs launched, Daphne continues, “Well, the app is, like the title suggests, one that grants our protagonist, Rina, body control of the victim. Are they the same Ben and Rina in Hard Candy? I kind of doubt it, as they were opposing land water polo captains and this Ben is a total wimp, but still…”

Mattie fires the Bazooka again. The roll did unfurl, but lands well short of the mansion, “Shoot. Too far the other way. Another grammar complaint: Author, the pronoun I is capitalized. You are inconsistent with that. Proofread better!”

Daphne shrugs off her sense of impending doom about our story characters. “Well, Rina starts issuing commands. ‘Make penguin noises,’ ‘Go outside in only Spider-man underwear,’ ‘Hop on one of your weird human legs.’ Oooh, a branch point. So, Mattie, are we having Rina plug herself into the app or torment Ben more?”

“Can we circle back to that penguin noise command first? What is wrong with Rina? Her first thought was that Ben was joining along while watching penguin porn? Really? Who, outside of Ora and maybe the author, watches penguin porn?”

Daphne shrugs, then Catapults another carton of eggs at the house. Ooooh, window shot! The eggs drip down the glass panes. “Dunno. It is weird.”

Mattie decides to answer the branch question, “Only an idiot would stick themselves in this situation. We pick to torment Ben.” The next bazooka shot gets the unfurling right. The roll arcs through the air and lands on the roof just so.

“Okay,” Daphne notes, “Picking to continue tormenting Ben results in him being commanded to wear some of Rina’s clothes. No pants, either. He picks a sleep shirt. Next choice Mattie: stay home, **** Ben to go out like this, or a bonus thing?”

After another beautiful TP shot, Mattie answers, “The ‘fun’ answer is go out, and, looking at the story map, that’s the one the author wants us to pick. The first stay home option gives a couple of chapters, then loops back to the intro; the bonus option gives a couple of chapters, then dead ends.”

“So a trip outside it is. Rina establishes some ground rules, then we get another choice, this time of where we are taking him: park, zoo, or pool.”

“So, each choice is labeled with an evil rating. Evil rating: penguin interests me, despite the whole penguin porn thing. When I think evil animals, I think foxes, not penguins. I am hoping this decision does not lead to penguin porn.”

Daphne nods and fires off another carton of eggs (she brought sooooo many eggs!). “Zoo it is! By far the longest chapter yet! We have everything: embarrassed ticket purchases, birthday humiliation, a trio of sisters to help Rina torment Ben, an Ora sighting, and Ben pissing himself in front of a giant crowd of people!”

Mattie, satisfied with her bazooka’s performance, pulls out her Toilet Paper Trebuchet to test next. The rolls the basket can hold are designed for giants. She starts cranking it back, “They go home and the two kind of make up. Another choice: based on the titles of the branches, does Rina sneak into Ben’s room or not?”

“On the one hand, I don’t want an **** sex scene, especially a heterosexual one. On the other hand, there has yet to be a sex scene in this entire exercise. Sneak?”

“Bad choice, Teeth. We hit a bad end. Looks like they have an older brother named Evan and it looks like he’s abused Ben? Alright, back up, choosing no.”

Daphne launches her last dozen eggs, then continues the summary. “So, the sisters return. We get a spanking scene, then the sisters offer to do some new techniques to increase Ben’s humiliation, because the younger two sisters think that Rina and Ben are dating and he has that kink. We got three choices at the end: truth or dare, penguin boy, or feminization.”

“Let’s do all three, in that order, but first, it’s real shitty that Rina is pressuring Ben to go along with this. I mean, I am definitely not one for reading straight vanilla smut, but Ben and Peggy would be so cute together. Rina is both cock-blocking him and being an abusive little shit.”

Daphne has the Bog Roll Bazooka and fires off a roll, cackling madly. Then she adds, a little more seriously, “Reminder of your first season on the Hotel?”

“Yeah. Rina is starting to feel like a fuckin’ monster. And ‘Old Sis,’ too, for going along with it.”

The Toilet Paper Trebuchet is launched. The roll for giants flow majestically, blanketing a nice section of the mansion in bathroom tissue.

Daphne tries to lighten the mood by continuing the review, “So, Truth or Dare goes okay. Rina even gets her egg extractors sucked! Then Angelica, aka ‘Old Sis,’ accuses Rina of ****. That kind of kills the mood. When the sisters leave, Rina and Ben talk. Another choice: Is Rina just being paranoid and overthinking it?”

Mattie is preparing the trebuchet again, “Probably not, and the story map says that yes is likely a bad end. Let’s try yes first.”

Daphne makes a phew, phew noise as she fires off another bazooka round, then goes, “Huh, yes was a GOOD end. Then Ora taunts us for not finding the true end. Let’s try no.”

“Angelica can resist the app. Huh. And another cipher.”

“Penguin time! Not as good as mermaid time or even shark time, but penguin time! Okay, that is some **** pet-play humiliation. Cage, vibrating penguin suit, boneless fish slop, the works. Then the suit glitches out over night and we have a bad end.”

“I am officially taking back the Ben / Peggy ship; the dweeb would not survive a week. More ciphers, too. Huh, that one bit in the Rcvybthr chapter cipher decodes. Interesting. I wonder what happens when you apply the cipher to this other word in the story...”

Daphne prepares another bazooka shot, but this one thuds into a mansion window by the time she finishes the next chapter, “Okay, so the feminization route is another long chapter, consisting of convincing Ben to go for it, using the app to nudge him that way, a drawn out plan outline, and a post plan celebration. And WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?”

Mattie sounds like she already solved the twist, shrugging, “Whelp, that’s certainly a twist, Teeth. You gonna put in the link you surely were thinking about when you thought they were a different Ben and Rina?”

“I guess I won’t, then. The fuck, though?”

“We telling Sarge? Ooh, we telling Sparkles?”

“Maybe to our Beloved. Definitely not to Glitterdust.”

Mattie critiques, “Some general notes. This was kind of anti-smut? Not to yuck the author’s yums too much, but the fetishes on display here are NOT my thing. I get that embarrassment can look a lot like arousal, and, on a cute girl like Teeth, I would enjoy seeing, but, on this Ben dweeb, I am not interested. The pet-play was too cruel and not the right victim. The slow burn feminization is nice, but also both didn’t go far enough and also infantilized Ben too much to be enjoyable. And, finally, I don’t get watersports as a fetish period.”

Daphne nods, agreeing, “Yeah, Ben should have grown some big egg sacs at least! Also, like in Clothes for Likes, we have a woobie being needlessly kicked by a bunch of sociopaths. Peggy and Alyssa have an excuse of misunderstanding the situation, but both took their respective fetish play too far. Who made Gambio think that tormenting innocent characters for no reason is okay?”

The trebuchet is fired off again. Now, half of the mansion is covered in toilet paper. Some of it is already sticking to broken egg goop. Mattie dusts her hands off, a sigh of satisfaction from her lips. “I think we thoroughly egged and TP’ed this place. Anything else before we get to the pièce de résistance?”

It took some doing, mostly on Mattie’s end to sneak into Marel’s security system long enough to figure out which room in Marcie’s mansion is Gina’s, but Daphne has something special planned. They already mathed it out using the mansion’s blueprint, finding the best location and angle on the grounds. Now, every time Gina looks out the main window of her room, she’ll see and remember that, as good of a friend Daphne could be, you don’t want her as an enemy.

The statue is made of solid adamantine (transmuted from balsa wood by Daphne herself!), which means the statue is nigh indestructible and extremely heavy; the built in plinth sinks several feet into the earth from its weight when Daphne finally places it from her inventory. The statue is twenty feet tall after settling. It dominates the grounds. The statue consists of a perfect rendition, lovingly carved and shaped by a master craftsman, of Gina as a dolphin-girl with huge egg sacs. Daphne sticks a little curled up slip of mermaid paper in the Gina blow-hole, reading, “Am I cool now, Gina? - Your future friend, Daphne”

The two girls stand and bask in the glow of a prank well done. Mattie has the Gate spell scroll at the ready. The astral elf asks, “Cheese it?”

Daphne nods, “Cheese it.”

The scroll is popped, opening up to the park just outside the castle’s wards against dimensional breaches, and the two head home.