Chapter 31 by Gambio

Next episode: 26th February

Dahlia’s Date Day (Dateless)

“Wow, another chapter of boring garbage. Who would have thought? We are now at chapter 30 of this shit without any fucking sex whatsoever. START FUCKING ALREADY, YOU FUCKS!”

“Gina, please.”

“No, fuck you, Marcie. I’m sick of this shit! They haven’t even transformed the twink ass master into a girl yet!”

“Hmm, I personally would prefer some crossdressing.”

“Of course you do.”

“Well, to tell the truth,Gina, I am more concerned with the non existent prose, lackluster descriptions and general uninspired storytelling. Simply put, it lacks a bit of spice.”

“You know what it really lacks, Marcie? Sharks. What’s with the stupid ass penguin obsession? Sharks are way better. This is why I prefer the hag host...”

…

SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!

Ora smashed the TV with her bare hands.

“UGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“What are you screaming about now, you shitty, little brat?”

In their command center(rose garden), Cherry witnessed her employer throwing another temper tantrum.

This happened a lot lately.

“Silence, lowly maid”, Ora growled. “Go do some lowly maid stuff if you have nothing to do!”

“I’m just about to. Got a few things to deliver”, Cherry jutted her thumb back to a decent amount of letters and gifts that are piled up in a corner of the garden.

…

“is for me?”

“Some of it.”

Cherry handed Ora a letter.

Well, that was certainly a start. Welcome to Harem Hotel I suppose. Normally I send newcomers a gift basket with mead, but I'm not sure you are old enough to drink, so here is an assortment of penguin-shaped suckers instead. I understand if you blow on them like a whistle, they make amusing penguin sounds. Speaking of penguins, I'm not sure you should be trusting yours. They seem to like working for your replacement more than you. In the meanwhile do please stop trying to make Azure look good in comparison, and good luck dealing with the blight on your season before she supplants you. Shar.

“THAT STUPID VAMPIRE! WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? Kwee! Kwee! Kwee!”

Ora angrily sucked on one of the penguin candies.

“PREMINGER!”

The penguin butler eagerly waddled up.

“Yes, my mistress?”

“Are you planning on betraying me? Kwee! Kwee! Kwee!”

Preminger bowed politely. “Of course not.”

There!

Grrr. Why are all the undead hosts so annoying? Ora doesn’t even feel like opening some of the other presents!

Unless…

“Did Sally send something for me?”

“Doesn’t look like it.”

“Oh...”

“MAIL!”

Just then a small...something floated through the dark night sky. It looked a bit like a blue slime wearing a top hat.

…

The azure alien landed on the table.

“CANDY!”

And started chomping on one of the penguin suckers.

“HEY! THAT’S MINE YOU BLUE THIEF!”

Ora grabbed the intruder. Or well, at least attempted to. The incorporeal intruder slipped right through her fingers.

“MAIL!”

The sucker stealing sapphire specter held out a letter

Dear Ora

Thankyou kindly for your generous gift, honestly, you really got me out of a pickle with that one. Admittedly, I did find a storage container full of zombified penguins quite strange at first, but when I realised the Harem Hotel store accepts them as payment, it all clicked. You were trying to help out the newbie without being too obvious about it. Now I get it, you have this big, all-powerful 'I don't need nobody' persona to keep up, so I'll keep it on the down-low. I am genuinely stupidly lucky to have a host like you in my corner. If there is anything I can do to help in return, just holler at me, alright? Kind Regards. -Your friend Jocelyn

….

“GO!”

The blue balloon(with the remaining penguin lollipops as loot) floated back up in the sky.

KWEE! KWEE! KWEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Ora tore the letter into many small pieces.

“Friend? FRIEND? You think I fall for such a blatant ruse? Don’t get conceited, you sycophant spook! I can see right through you! Your lies are as transparent as your body!”

Uggghhh!

This sucks! Why is everyone so annoying!

Ora chewed through her one remaining penguin sucker in record tempo, making very sad penguin noises in the process.

Cherry meanwhile could only sigh upon seeing her master's complete freakout. “You know, if you are that pissed about everything, you can always just call it quits.”

“I can’t do that!”, Ora gasped and nearly choked on her candy. “The ghost host will laugh at me! I can already picture it!”

~Ohohohoho! Giving up already desu? How shameful! How embarrassing! But I suppose not every host can have such big bouncy blue boobs as me desu! Don’t worry, I make sure to bury your season properly! We can use your flat chest as a tombstone desu! Ohohohohohoho!~

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“No! Never!", Ora roared. "I have set out to create the greatest, most magnificent Harem Hotel season ever! And that is exactly what I am going to do! I will have that smug spirit grovel before me! GROVEL!”

But that was easier said than done.

Ugh, why does creating the greatest thing ever take so much effort?

And why was she already out of candy?

Ora was angrily chomping down on Preminger while she lamented this dreadful state of affair.

It was the contestants fault of course.

Miss Brainiac is moping around.

The Hedgehog is also just moping around.

And today’s date? You guessed it. MOPINGAS USUAL I’LL SEE!

Add in Mr. sad sack throwing a pity party and that’s almost half the entire harem just being complete and utterly boring!

I mean, how hard can it be to just be funny, charming, interesting, wholesome, sexy and likable?

Ora is it all the time!

“Maybe you shouldn’t have made a harem consisting solely of evil psychopaths then”, Cherry suggested.

Grrrrrr….

It sounded like a great idea on paper. A bunch of mean girls would surely provide all manner of fun and exciting scenarios.

But unfortunately there is always another side to paper.

These guys are severely lacking in team spirit. Don’t they know the power of friendship?

“Maybe I could just mind control them into having sex with each other...”

The pink maid glared at her.

“I was joking, geez!”, Ora snapped. “Do you have a better idea?”

Cherry folded her arms.

“Maybe.”

…

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T FIND THE KEY?”

Megan looked at the furious blonde with apprehension. She was busy enjoying her lunch(fish burger, french fries, large coke, small salad) in peace when this slut suddenly walked over and started making demands.

After it was clear she wouldn’t fuck off, the NEET started typing into her laptop.

Hedhehogstew69: obvi

Hedhehogstew69: are u retarded?

Hedhehogstew69:lol

Hedhehogstew69: I do places

Hedhehogstew69: not things

Hedhehogstew69: dumb ass hoe

Sahara’s masterplan was as marvelous as it was simple.

She would grant this boorish nerd the privilege to escort her to where her key was. Then she would use the key to unlock herself.

But if that useless fool is unable to do that...

Then...

The rich girl glanced down at herself. The cold metal of her chastity cage suddenly felt a lot more pronounced.

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

“I might have a solution”, Kikki offered with a smile as she joined the two with a strawberry parfait.

“Y-you do?”, Sahara perked up.

“Hmhm!” The younger girl nodded and speared a strawberry with her spork. “All Meg has to do is make a Devil Deal with me, so that her transformation can also find objects.”

Hedhehogstew69: lol no

Hedhehogstew69: what do I get out of it?

That ungrateful gremlin! After all Sahara was planning to do for her!

“Hah…”, Kikki let out a sigh and shook her head. “Meg, you might not have noticed, but Saha is very rich. So...in exchange for this she could offer you enough money that you would never have to set foot out of your room again.”

Megan’s one visible eye widened.

“R-right!”, Sahara quickly nodded. “If you agree to this deal, I will compensate you with the exorbitant amount of one million Dollars!”

Hedhehogstew69: What is that in Handsome Hedgehog Husbands Premium currency?”

“Around ten billion Gold Rings”, Kikki happily answered. “If you buy the biggest package.”

T-That was enough rings for a million pulls!

*****Mayor Knuckles with all maxed Emeralds could come home AND she would still have enough pulls left over for hard pity on the next ten banners!

It would ensure her husbandos stay in S tier for an entire year! Maybe even two!

“...he...heheheheehehehe….”

Eww, she was drooling all over the table.

This is why Sahara can’t stand freaks. Maybe she should find another solution after all.

But before the blonde could beat a hasty retreat the mad jester began typing furiously.

Hedhehogstew69: XD

Hedhehogstew69: stonks

Hedhehogstew69: like

Hedhehogstew69: ( ´◔ ω◔`) ノシ

Hedhehogstew69: shut up and take my moneybags

Invalid chore: (please speak like a normal human being)

Hedhehogstew69: money

Hedhehogstew69: shitty ass autocorrect

Hedhehogstew69: ur money

Hedhehogstew69: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CTeLy3Ujxc

…

“So...does that mean she accepts?”, Sahara whispered towards Kikki. She doesn’t speak freak.

“Maybe?”, Kikki smiled at the jester guide. “What do you think, Meg? Is that ok?”

...

Hedhehogstew69: as a matter of fact, it isn’t.

Hedhehogstew69: like

Hedhehogstew69: I mean

Hedhehogstew69: can’t I just make a deal to get money

Hedhehogstew69: ?

Hedhehogstew69: Without doing anything

“WHAT?”

“Hmm….”, Kikki pondered the suggestion for a bit. “Yep, that works too.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT WORKS?”, the rich girl shouted. “How is that a valid deal!”

“Eh, don’t you know, Saha?”, Kikki smiled. “Getting rich is like super popular as far as devil deals go.”

This is absurd!

“Just stop and think things through!”, Sahara hissed towards the Neet. “Getting money now won’t help you at all! Being able to find items is much more useful!”

Hedhehogstew69: nah

Hedhehogstew69: sounds like a hassle

Hedhehogstew69: I hate work

Hedhehogstew69: rather get the $$$

Hedhehogstew69:#bailan

This insufferable, worthless lower class trash!

“Say something!”, Sahara hissed towards Kikki.

“Hmm…” Kikki, after taking a few more sporks of her parfait, finally shook her head. “But it’s not like I could command Meg to do this, you know…”

Argh! Why is everyone so useless?

“Say Meg, why don’t you think it over for a bit?”, Kikki suggested with a happy smile. “There’s no rush and who knows? Maybe Saha finds the key on her own?”

Hedhehogstew69: k

Hedhehogstew69: have fun lol

Chore received: have fun 0.5 VP(halved to 0.25)

Sahara let out a surprised gasp as her brain got overloaded with a massive dose of endorphins.

“Geez, Megan”, Kikki chided. “You need to be careful how you word these things around Saha.”

Still with a manic smile on her lips the blonde stood up. “Y-You just wait and see, haha! I will find the key on my own! Just you wait! Enjoy not having millions of dollars! Hahahaha!”

And there she went.

“Remember that you still need to work today~~”, Kikki shouted after her, which was replied with more deranged laughter

…

Ashley was dragging himself back to the mobile suite.

After having to wait in the hedge maze for an hour or so, Carol and Ashley could finally make the awkward trek back out of it.

"Oi, Shortstuff. Back already, are ya? Where's your Sheila?"

Liz was still present, ever the loyal guard. But that was hardly a surprise. It was after all only three in the afternoon. Considerably before the end of her shift, even if she were to have guarded this place from 9 A.M

“She comes later. Don’t stop her again.”

“Aye? Sure...oi what happened?”

But Ashley had no interest in conversation as he slinked back inside his suite without as much as a word.

There, with a loud sigh, he sat himself down on the couch and moped arou…

“OH NO YOU DON’T!”

His world turned black.

Suddenly, Ashley found himself in a place that somehow managed to look even more fantastical. An opulent, magnificent rose garden under a dark night sky that glittered with an impossible amount of stars.

“Huh?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. I reacted the same”, Cherry calmly served him a cup of tea.

“Well, well, well, look who has decided to drop in for tea! If it isn’t the esteemed Moper of Mopeville, Mopey McMopeface!”

Oh.

More bullshit. Got it.

Ashley was so not in the mood for this. “What do you want?”

“What I want? I'll tell you what I want! I want you to stop being such a wet blanket! This is the SECOND day in a row that you abandoned your date to go gallivanting around on your lonesome! Are you gay or something? Because I’m pretty sure that I specifically ordered a non gay master!”

….

Seriously?

“Have you seen some of the comments we have gotten? HAVE YOU?”

Ora flicked a thorn towards the middle of the table. It turned into a small vintage style TV that began displaying what looked like a very retro chat room.

……............................................................

“slop season”

“Boring af”

“Show more Megan”

“there’s barely anyone here anymore lol”

“this shit’s getting canceled soon.”

“#snoozefest”

“people moping around for 300 episodes lol”

“#mopeseason”

“start fucking each other already!”

“yaaaaaaaawn”

“De Sade? More Like de snore.”

“host has no idea what she’s doing”

“#Oraisincompetent”

“still a better host then Beckie”

“dropped”

“ghost season smokes this”

“#ghosting4ghostseason”

“GHOST!”

…....................................................

TOSS!

Ora tossed the TV up in the night sky.

Then she fired at it with a gun.

The TV exploded in a massive firework show.

“You see that? YOU SEE THAT?” The host furiously jumped up and down wildly gesticulating towards the falling debris. “They think my beautiful, magnificent, greatest show ever is...BORING!”

Ashley showed about as much enthusiasm as he would for watching the weather report. He slowly took his cup of tea and took a sip.

“I missed the part where that’s my problem.”

In terms of lines you shouldn’t say to your host, this one ranks at number 4.

And the icy smile Ora just gave him managed to even jolt Ashley out of his lethargy.

“Well, then...my femboy”, Ora’s voice was akin to nails scratching over chalkboard. “Maybe you would like an encore of your time as plush? You have plenty of time to mope around then!”

Oh crap.

It was sometimes hard to take the hyperactive midget seriously. But this little girl was fully capable of ending his existence with the flick of a finger.

Seeing that the master was sufficiently scared out of his mind, Ora nodded pleased and turned chalkboard mode off.

“Don’t get me wrong. Normally, the master moping around is fine. Masters tend to be sad sacks that the girls need to peppy up. It’s so the losers in the audience can self insert. It’s part of the appeal, really.”

Ok.

“But when the girls themselves are sad sacks we’re having a problem!”

“Are you expecting them to be happy about this nightmare?”, Ashley argued back.

“No, my femboy I expect them to be entertaining! And since these lazy sluggards aren’t pulling their weights, you have to pick up the slack!”

Ashley really did not like where this was going. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Simple”, Ora harumphed. “I want you to do some erotic things tonight!”

The master had no idea how he should even begin to respond to this audacious demand.

“S-Sexy stuff? Y-You mean with Dahlia?”, he eventually managed to blurt out.

“No, with Preminger. Of course with Dahlia, you nincompoop!”, the little host groaned.

“In case you have forgotten people screwing each othert is the whole point of this show. But you probably need a bit more direction, so I came up with a super genius plan all on my own. I call it the Genet approach.”

“T-the what now?”

“Stop talking after me. It’s easy. Dahlia has to earn 10 VP tonight. Or else…”

Ora drew a finger across her throat.

“Cccckrrrrkccchhhh!!!”

This finally lit a fire under that useless bum.

“YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!”, Ashley screamed, standing up so fast he nearly toppled his teacup.

But Ora looked very serious.

“Well, I’m sure you have plenty of preparations to do. I won’t delay you any longer. Have fun on your date!”

And before Ashley could object again he found himself back on his couch in the mobile suite.

Was this just a nightmare? No, how nice would that be? This was reality.

“Looks like you’re in for a rough night, kid”, Cherry commented dryly.

Ashley looked up to his maid who, as nonchalant as ever, poured him another cup of tea.

That said, he looked so absolutely miserable that even she couldn’t help but sigh.

“The shitty, little brat won’t kill her, if that’s what you’re worried about. But I wouldn’t count on another fake out. You better make sure your girlfriend gets these points.”

“But that’s impossible!”Ashley whined. “Dahlia has only two PVP’s tonight! That’s not enough to earn ten points! And besides! I won’t **** Dahlia to do anything against her will!”

He probably should have led with that.

“Uhu”, Cherry raised an eyebrow. “May I make a suggestion, oh esteemed master?”

Ashley slowly nodded.

“You might want to watch the season the shitty little brat got the idea from.”

Hah.

It probably wasn’t that bad of an idea. But...

“I need to contact Dahlia first. I need to inform her of this.”

If she knows ahead she can maybe buy something in the shop to make this easier on them.

“Nice plan. Won’t work though. You can’t follow Dahlia, as per her orders.”

Ah! It was true. Ashley instinctively knew any attempt of contacting Dahlia would fail.

“Then what if you deliver a message?”

“Sorry Kid, not part of my job description.”

Fuck!

One of the other girls then? No, he can’t trust any of them.

Cherry smiled and turned the TV on. “If it’s any consolation, the season’s pretty good. No spoilers but Hazel’s my favorite.”

In the end, Ashley spend the next couple hours watching a Harem Hotel season about

a Politician.

…

BE Smokes

A pack of twenty BE Smokes™

WARNING: BE SMOKES CAN CAUSE TEMPORARY SWELLING

"Good job with De Snake. Keep it up."

“Huh.”

Shizuka carefully examined the two objects the pink maid just delivered her.

Who’s the snake?

Sadie?

No, that happened only a few hours ago.

This was most likely pertaining to something that happened yesterday or even the day before. Only problem is that snake fit quite a lot of people here. The biggest interactions yesterday were with

Kikki and Boobs. Is one of them the snake?

It might not even refer to a person.

De snake or Desnake could be meant literally as in “desnaking yourself”.

Disentangle? That’s probably overthinking it.

Could it be a biblical reference? The snake of temptation?

The year of the snake? No, that ended in February.

Or could it be a witty wordplay with smoke? But then why send her smokes? Unless it was to mock her.

She also can’t rule out the possibility of an anagram. A secret message to get through the censor of their captor?

What about the other part of the message? “Keep it up?”

So basically, keep the snake up.

Maybe this is just a dick joke.

...

Shizuka let out a groan. She was too horny for this cryptic shit.

She grabbed the package of smokes again and looked it over. Smokes are kinda like snakes in a sense.

...

This was obviously a trap.

Just as she was pondering trying at least one of them out she heard a knock on the door of her clinic.

Ugh.

She had already done her work for the day. There was no reason to see anyone else.

But a doctor’s day was never truly over.

Besides, she doesn’t mind the distraction.

“Come in.”

A familiar red head timidly entered the office.

“Ah, boobs.”

“I would appreciate it if you stop calling me that”, boobs responded.

Shizuka smiled. “Wasn’t planning on a check up that quickly. What seems to be the issue?”

Carol took a deep breath. “I was...actually hoping to find Peshkova here.”

“Hm.”

The doctor nodded. “Based on personal experience, I can’t really recommend that therapy.”

Boobs cringed. She was surprisingly adorable like that.

“Before you opt for that **** treatment”, Shizuka continued. “Why not explore some less drastic options?”

Boobs was quick on the uptake, she understood exactly what the doctor intended to prescribe.

Which is why Shizuka could also tell that some more convincing was in order.

“Way I see it, this is a mutually beneficial arrangement. You get your toothache taken care off and I finally am able to get off.”

Boobs responded with a deep, resigned sigh.

“What do I have to do?”

…

“Do I have to be on my knees for this?”

“Unless you want to do 69”, Shizuka responded with a chuckle as she looked down at the blushing redhead in front of her.

Shizuka herself was reclining on her chair while Miss boobs was on all fours. From this position, the doctor had an especially nice view of her assets.

The position was demeaning, which of course was design. While Shizuka considered herself a bit of a switch, the girl kneeling in front of her basically begged to be dommed and far be it from the doctor to deny a patient her treatment.

“W-what am I supposed to do now?”, Miss Boobs stuttered.

Hoh. Now this is interesting.

Shizuka assumed Boobs already had a decent amount of sexual experience. But her **** reaction certainly suggested otherwise.

“For starters just use your tongue and lick me.”

“L-lick you...where?”

Shizuka smiled.

“I leave that up to your imagination.”

Shizuka had already disrobed herself down below. She did keep her doctor’s coat on, mostly to keep a veneer of professionalism and authority up.

This girl was a bona fide sub. It wouldn’t do to disappoint her.

It took a while for Carol to finally find the courage to scoot closer. Shizuka had no intention of making it too easy, so the soon to be lesbian had to push herself up quite a bit to get to the coveted prize.

But sure enough.

There was a vagina in front of her.

It was already glistening wet and Carol was close enough that she could smell the odor it emitted.

Carol was not into women.

But she was also not exactly into men either.

The proper term would be asexual.

The human body simply did not excite her in the slightest.

And because of that the emotion she was feeling right now was mostly disgust. She didn’t want to stick her tongue inside that thing. That was just all manner of unsanitary.

Because of that she had to think of it logically.

Logically speaking, pleasuring Hayabusa was the correct action. And her rapidly increasing tooth ache was further incentive.

Having finally psyched herself up enough, she went for it and gave the honeypot a small lick.

“Ah…!”

A jolt of pleasure went through the doctor’s body.

Shizuka had her fair share of girls going down on her. Even some boys back when she was still experimenting.

And because of that she knew that technique matters nowhere near as much as one might assume

If you have the hots for the person going to town on your pussy, you will cum like a waterfall, even if all you get are a few timid licks. In fact a clumsy performance might get your rocks off even more.

With that said...

No offense to the freckled redhead. She is cute and all but she doesn’t exactly get Shizuka dripping. This was more a pity fuck.

Or well, at least it should have been a pity fuck.

But all it took was this single fleeting contact to bring her to near orgasmic bliss.

Carol of course noticed the change in reaction and wen int again. This time a bit more energetically.

It was like a switch had been flipped.

The chubby nerd suddenly knew exactly how she had to move and flick her tongue to maximize pleasure.

“Oh fuck!”, Shizuka couldn’t help herself and cursed out. Her body was shivering. She was of course horny already but this went beyond that.

This was the best oral experience she ever had.

And perhaps most fiendish was that despite the massive pleasure, she wasn’t actually brought to climax right away.

No, Shizuka was kept expertly dancing right on the edge.

This was the true skill. Build up, anticipation and denial. A sweet sort of **** that was almost impossible to perfect.

And yet, this nerd was a master at it. Shizuka knew she would only be allowed to cum when that tongue allowed it. No, she will cum exactly when that tongue wills it.

Carol on that matter was not aroused in the least but she could still appreciate the mechanical aspect of this whole ordeal. Her tongue, mouth, no even her voice and posture was moving in a very deliberate fashion.

Plus the moans and gasps she received from the doctor were quite...enjoyable.

For a brief moment she paused and observed the throbbing engorged clitoris.

She gulped.

It looked...she was at a loss for words.

The next few licks were very deliberate. Sharp, teasing strokes that intended to drive that organ in front of her absolutely insane. The body it was attached to didn’t even matter. All that matter was to get it even redder, even bigger, even more stimulated!

“F-fuck…”, Shizuka was openly panting now. She expected this to feel good, she just wasn’t expecting it to be quite that good.

Finally the doctor reached her limit. She grabbed Carol by the hair and shoved her deeper into her aching cunt.

The tongue understood the assignment.

Shizuka didn’t just moan, she screamed. And Carol’s tongue was dutifully lapping up the emerging juices that would put a male orgasm to shame.

Received an Orgasm by another contestant+1 VP (Shizuka)

First time bonus! +1VP

Pleasured another contestant to orgasm (Oral) +1 VP (Carol)

First time bonus! +1VP

drink pussy juice +0.5 VP

First time bonus! +1VP

But the dutiful nerd’s ministration didn’t just stop there. She made sure to properly work Shizuka through her orgasm until the doctor finally slumped down into her chair in afterglow bliss.

T-this is quite dangerous. It’s the type of stuff one can get addicted to, the doctor thought.

“How’s your teeth?”, she slurred out.

“The pain is gone…”, Carol noted, perplexed. She was bracing it to pop up any second but all she felt in her mouth was the salty taste of Hayabusa’s discharge. Luckily, the urge to vomit wasn’t very prevalent.

“Nice”, Shizuka commented with a lazy smile. “Time for your after treatment care. You’re up for some cuddling?”

Carol could use a bit of those.

…………………………………