Cyan [The End]

"Hello, yes, I'd like to register a complaint about this story."

"Sorry, Fans, I'm closed for Lunch!"

"Never mind that, you hack. I wish to complain about this story what I read not half an hour ago from this very site!"

"The Special Hell? What's Wrong with it?"

"I'll tell you what's WRONG with it. It's got a bad ending, that's what's wrong with it."

"No, no... it's uh... it's parody."

"Look, my good writer, I Know when I'm looking at a bad ending, and I'm looking at one RIGHT now."

"No, no, it's not bad, it's parody! Remarkable story, A Special Hell, Innit? Great Sex Scenes."

"The Sex scenes are not what we're discussing. It's got a bad ending!"

"No... nonono, It's funny!"

"All right then, if it's a parody, I'll call up EA and Bioware and have them sue you for slander and libel!"

"Fair Use!"

"You just made that up!"

"I never!!"

"Yes, you did!"

"I never, never did anything..."

"HELLO EA!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your claims department! Someone to SUE!! Now that's what I call a bad ending."

"No, no.....No, it's still a work in progress."

"A WORK IN PROGRESS?"

"Yeah! You broke the fourth wall just as it was getting good! A Special Hell's suspension of disbelief breaks easily!"

"Um...now look...now look, pal, I've definitely had enough of this. That ending is definitely bad, and when I chose this ending, not a day ago, you assured me that its total lack of quality was due to you being tired from prolonged dealings with civil authorities."

"Well, he's...he's, ah... Setting up for DLC"

"Setting up for DLC?!?!?!? What kind of idiot do you think I am? Look, why did I feel the need to comment immediately after I read it!"

"A Special Hell prefers it when people comment!! Remarkable Story, innit? Great Sex Scenes!"

"Look, I took the liberty of examining the story map when I got done reading it, and I discovered the only reason this ending was here was because it had been shoehorned in."

(pause)

"Well, of COURSE I had to shoehorn it in. If I hadn't given the people what the most popular stories do, then the story would have totally taken off, and VOOM!"

"VOOM"?!? Dude, this story wouldn't "voom" if you were featured on Oprah's Book Club! It's absolutely Terrible!"

"No, no... it's a set up."

"It's not a set up, it's a Sell out! This Ending is OVER! It has ceased to be funny! It's a defective idea! It's a non-starter! Bereft of quality, It quietly sits! If you hadn't shoehorned it in, I would have flushed it down! It's become an Uncollectable! It's OFF the map! It SUCKS! It should be submitted to the Edward Bulwer-Lytton contest in pursuit of the almighty dollar! It's taken a bow, and waltzed off the stage! THIS IS AN EX-ENDING!!

(pause)

"Well, I'd better write another one then. Just... you know... I'm all out of ideas."

"I see. I see, I get the picture."

"I got a few old movies I could rip off."

"Do they have good dialog?"

"Nnnnot really."

"Well, you'd better FIX that, then. I'll wait."